I’ve been thinking a lot about how to write about this week, because my life involves a lot of time for thinking and not a lot of time for writing. Week one of my crazy schedule was exhausting and at one point it had me defeated. But, I rallied.

There is something about starting new things that is exhausting in itself. I remember coming home from my first day of middle school and crashing immediately. I thought, “how do people do this?” But, then of course, every day after the first was much easier. I think the same will be true of this semester.

I tried really hard to stick to the plans I set out with, because I know how important it is to take care of myself and if I forget, my mom and everyone else is there to remind me. You see, this has been a problem for me before.

But by Wednesday, I was so tired and hungry and headache-ridden that when things finally quieted down at the library, I asked to go home for a few hours (thank goodness for sick time). The rain was so bad that I got positively soaked on my way home. My flats actually filled with water and I had to change my clothes when I finally made it in my door. Then I ate my body weight in pasta and slept for three hours. That’s when I turned a corner.

Now that I’m feeling better, I have to tell you that I’m really excited about my classes. They’re all really interesting to me and two of them are so small that I’m looking forward to participating. I’m trying harder this semester to be the engaged student I want to be instead of just the girl who knows exactly what it takes to get the grades.¹

And, my new second job is going well. The more I get into it, the less I worry I’m going to suck at it and the more I think I’m going to do a good job. So far, it’s involved way more design and website work than I’ve ever done before. It’s frustrating trying to figure everything out and get a sense of the scope of the job, but I’ll get there. I’m trying to set up boundaries for myself where I only work on things while I’m physically in the office and don’t let it follow me into my other job or interfere with my limited time for studying.

I think people in my real life (with whom I don’t share nearly as many details of my goings on as I do with you) are starting to realize that I’m busy (because they see me everywhere they go) and it feels nice to have that understanding. I had a conversation with a coworker/classmate about how nice it is just to have people know you’re overwhelmed and to know they’re overwhelmed too.

Today is my only day off (I think working 6 days a week is going to be the hardest adjustment) and now that I’ve got fresh groceries, clean laundry, and a clean apartment, I am drinking beer, listening to the Beatles, and writing. For an anxious girl, I’m feeling surprisingly at peace.

1. I don’t mean that to sound as bad as it does.