Tradition: capturing Christmas break in pictures (Vol. 1, Vol. 2, and Vol. 3). I had a lovely time in Washington and now I’m back in California, but vacation is not yet over!

Birthday beer with my dad. Blue Moon, of course.

This was taken on my 28th birthday. It's like the wisdom just radiates from it.

A windy and rainy Northwest Christmas.

Christmas manicure.

My name is Ashley and I'm officially a Californian who can't handle the cold.

I like to make my mom think she has to talk me into playing this game called Rack-o, but really I enjoy it.

Lounging by the Christmas tree. I did a lot of reading while I was home.

My last day in town, my step-dad took me to Steilacoom for coffee. It reminds me of Stars Hallow.

It’s been a weird December.  Or maybe it’s been a really normal December and I’m not used to that. I’m used to having finals-induced tunnel vision until about this time of year when I finally look up and realize it is nearly Christmas.  I tried to stretch the merriment out and enjoy it all month, but instead I kept thinking, “It feels too early. Is it time yet?  How about now?”

Well, self, it is finally time!  Tonight I’m catching a flight out of California and home to Washington.

I have mentioned that this has always been my favorite time of year, but I have not mentioned that for a while it really wasn’t.  It was like, “let’s mix super high expectations with turning a year older and trying to figure out what home is when you don’t live there anymore and I know you live on your own but now you’re back to being the baby of the family and hey maybe it’s a little pathetic that you’re alone and, for good measure, let’s add some depressing music to the mix.”

There were many years of feelings all those feelings, some years of being anxious about feeling all those feelings, and now we’re into the years where I just don’t care about any of that.  The angst: I don’t have it anymore.

I’m just looking forward to being home and spending time with my family and eating cinnamon rolls and drinking too much coffee and playing board games and staring at the tree.  If I feel sad, then I’ll go write about my feelings and listen to “River.”  Like I don’t love those things too.

Hello Christmas!  I’ve been waiting for you.

This has become something of a tradition (Volume 1 and Volume 2), so here is a glimpse at my Christmas vacation in pictures.  Something for me to look at as I head back to work today.  I spent a week in Western Washington with my family before traveling back to California for New Year’s.

A birthday Blue Moon with my dad. The waiter also brought me a sundae and didn't even embarrass me by singing.

The tree at my Mom's house. Christmas lights are one of my favorite things in life, so obviously I love this time of year. There were eventually many more presents under the tree, though fewer than normal despite the fact that we're all still employed. I enjoyed a scaled back Christmas.

Me. Sick. My normal method of dealing with sickness is to go about my life as if I am not sick, but that became impossible. I think I'm doing a pretty good job of faking it here. True story: this was my first and only Starbuck's holiday cup of the season. Look who doesn't have a Starbuck's addiction! I'm sure you're impressed.

Cinnamon rolls are a Christmas tradition. My mom makes the best.

Oh, just sitting by the fire writing. Most idyllic thing I've done in forever. We'll forget my cough and total lack of interesting thoughts to record and eventual heat exhaustion.

Lisa and I scheduled a board game rematch after she claimed to have let me win Mall Madness on my birthday. False. And I proved it by winning again. Then we played Monopoly where I also shamed her. In more than 12 years of friendship, she's never once beat me in Monopoly. I respect her for continuing to try.

The most surprising thing to happen in 2010: The Sound of Music came on TV and my brother and I sat there watching it all the way to the end. Neither of us is a fan of musicals, but we were totally struck. That Julie Andrews is something else.

Then I went to San Francisco for #SFNYE and it was amazing and I'll say more about it later, but for now I'll just say that San Francisco itself is one of the coolest cities I've ever visited and I need to spend more time there.

]]> http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2011/01/03/my-life-in-pictures-at-home-holiday-edition-vol-3/feed/ 11 http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2010/12/24/a-merry-little-christmas/ http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2010/12/24/a-merry-little-christmas/#comments Fri, 24 Dec 2010 19:37:57 +0000 Ashley http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/?p=5410

A few things before I wish you a Merry Christmas Eve!

• I had an awesome birthday despite being deathly ill for the last half of it.  With the odds stacked against me, I somehow managed to pull out a Mall Madness victory that Lisa should really be embarrassed about, considering I was totally off my game.  I couldn’t think clearly, so I kept getting distracted on my way to the bank.  Then the stupid game kept sending us to the arcade like we’re 12 year olds, which I guess we are, because who plays Mall Madness at 27?

• Yesterday I was even sicker, but nothing could distract from the amazing feeling of finally paying off the last of my credit card debt.  Best payday ever!  Bad as it sounds, the very first thing I did was go shopping, because I had yet to start purchasing presents.  Okay, so I may have picked up a few things for myself as well.  I happily dragged my sick self from store to store in the rain.  It was so nice to not worry about money for once.

• Shhh, don’t tell anyone, but Christmas Eve is really my favorite.  My brother and sister and I go to my dad’s house, where we eat our favorite appetizers for dinner and drink our favorite drinks and watch a movie.  I vlogged about it last year (the bloopers are the best part).

• If I was wondering how to improve upon the treatment I receive having awesome parents who only see me a few times a year, I discovered the answer is to be pathetically sick.  Things I’ve heard: “How is my sick little birthday princess?” and “No, don’t help with the dishes.  You just rest.” and a million variations of “Do you need anything?”  No doubt, I am the luckiest.  I feel extra grateful this Christmas.

No matter how often I say this, it never seems to be often enough.  Thanks for being amazing friends to me.  This year would not have been the same without you!   Merry Christmas if you celebrate, and happy vacation if you don’t.  Love your faces!

[+]

It’s my birthday today!   Thanks for being part of my life this year, friends.  Let’s spend the day eating pizza, drinking wine, and listening to David Gray.  Wait, I’ll do enough of that for all of us.

26 was good to me, but it is time to move on. 27, I’m yours.

source

I can’t quite get my head around any of them until I finish the semester, but I have a lot to look forward to in the last two weeks of December.

1. I’m going home! I can’t wait to see my family and Washington, but I am also really looking forward to having 13 days off.  Best of all, I will return home to a normal pay check, as if I’d spent all of those hours working.  Paid time off is the greatest gift of all.  No, but I really love my family too.

2.  It’s my birthday! This usually involves pizza and wine and chocolate cream pie and family and favorite friends and board games (it’s a tradition that dates back to my 15th birthday; all except for the wine).  I’m turning 27 this year.  Guys, I’m getting so wise. (ETA: My birthday is the 22nd.)

3. I’m paying off my debt! Oh, have I mentioned this before?  Well, it’s worth mentioning a million times.  It really is the biggest and most challenging goal I have ever taken on in my life and I can’t wait to say that I did it.  I also can’t wait for the freedom that will come with having no credit card debt.

4. Christmas! I couldn’t talk about my birthday without talking about Jesus’.  On Christmas Eve, my siblings and I go to my Dad’s house where we eat a dinner of appetizers and watch a movie.  My dad already sent out the email asking us what we wanted to eat and drink.  My brother’s response: “No alcohol for Ashley.  She’s the DD.”  My sister’s response: “Ashley told me she wants eggnog and vodka.”  I should probably tell you that my brother and I always fight over who is DD on Christmas Eve; every year we each claim that we did it the year before so it’s the other person’s turn.  And, my sister is the one who wants eggnog and vodka, of course.

I think Christmas itself will be pretty low key.  It usually is, but this year my nieces won’t be around to entertain us.  That leaves me as the youngest and I’m afraid I’m just not that much fun anymore.  We might get a little crazy and play Yahtzee.

5. #SFNYE! If there’s a world shortage of sequins and sparkles, it’s because seven bloggers celebrating in San Francisco need them all.  Bri, Nico, Pham, Ashley, AshleyD, Nicole, and I will be spending NYE together and I cannot, cannot wait.  Normally, the thought of meeting up with six people, half of whom I’ve never met before, would make me nervous, but no, I’m just straight excited.  Somehow bloggers get around all of my normal shyness and social apprehension.  (ETA: I finally get to meet Amy as well!)

Here’s a look back at my nine day vacation in Western Washington.  It was good to be home, but now it’s good to be home.  I guess home is a weird concept for a twenty something.  See My Life in Pictures: At Home Holiday Edition Vol. 1.

A beer with my brother and dad. 34 oz. and I finished it. I will not be defeated.

This was prettier than an iPhone camera could capture.

My nieces did all the decorating for my birthday. 26 balloons.

I'm not just head and shoulders. I do have legs. But, let me just turn to the side so I appear thinner.

A Christmas Eve bathroom mirror self portrait. Keeping it classy.

My contribution to Christmas dinner. I was quite proud of myself since I don't cook or bake or really even prepare food ever.

Mud Pie: a holiday staple at our house.

Our Christmas Tree. My mom decorated it beautifully so that even Martha Stewart would be proud and then my nieces decided we needed twice as many ornaments. This was the end result.

What you may not know about me is that I used to be awesome on roller blades. Apparently it's like riding a bike, because when my nieces begged me to rollerblade in the basement with them, I laced up my skates and was quickly doing fancy turns and all. Mad skills.

Going through the stuff I still have at my parents' house, I came across a box from my NSYNC days. I just can't give this stuff up yet. It's from a really fun time in my life. Boy bands forever!

Blue Moon. Officially my favorite beer.

]]> http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/30/my-life-in-pictures-at-home-holiday-edition-vol-2/feed/ 17 http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/22/26/ http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/22/26/#comments Tue, 22 Dec 2009 10:00:28 +0000 Ashley http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/?p=3437

source: clevercupcakes

I am 26 today.  10 years ago, I was sitting at the DMV nervously waiting to take my driving test, then I was rocking the test, then I was taking the picture for my new license, then I was at home calling my bff way to early to tell her the good news (made the same mistake a year earlier when I got my braces off), then I was making my first lone trip to the store to buy my mom a kitchen towel for Christmas, because that’s how cool I was at 16 and some things never change.

Happy Birthday to me, to @12minds, and to Diane Sawyer (if she’s reading).

]]> http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/22/26/feed/ 45 http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/14/i-wish-i-had-a-river-i-could-skate-away-on/ http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/2009/12/14/i-wish-i-had-a-river-i-could-skate-away-on/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:00:25 +0000 Ashley http://www.writingtoreachyou.com/?p=3321

It’s been going on for a while now, but last Christmas was the first time I admitted it to myself.  It’s just that Christmas has always been my favorite holiday.  I love the lights and the gifts and the music and the food and the family.  My birthday is only a few days before, which heightens the whole season.

But, as an adult (if I can call myself that) I find the holidays depressing.  I really never expected to be this person.  I don’t know if I can go as far as saying I’d rather avoid the whole thing, because there is so much about Christmas I still love and it’s one of the few times a year I get to see my family, but a big part of me dreads it all.  I dread my birthday even and not because I’m getting older.

There are four reasons at least that the holidays aren’t what they used to be:

1. I’m single. It bothers me mildly at other times, but it’s worse when I go home and it’s worse during the holidays.  The combination nearly knocks me over.
2. I’m a twenty-something. My life is apartments and impermanence.  I go home for the holidays, but I’m not really home, because I don’t live there anymore.  My apartment in California isn’t home either, because I am alone there.  I don’t want to me married with kids right now.  I might never want that.  But, during the holidays I want comfort and traditions–not living out of a suitcase and struggling with the idea that for all I have, I don’t really have a home.  It’s just an awkward stage.
3. Family. I love them all, but no group of people has more power over me.  They can do very little and crush me.  They know me and all of my baggage.  And I care so much what they think of me.  Sharing a house with them for a week will have me ready to go home, so I can be anonymous and alone.
4. I won’t be working or going to school. As much as I’m looking forward to time off, the truth is that I really suck at it.  My mind goes a little crazy with wide open space.   Add to it all the thoughts involved with the first three points and I’m bordering on tears or wandering around with no direction.

I don’t mean to overstate any of this.  It’s depressing, but it’s not depression.  There are a lot of things I’m looking forward to and, please, a part of me even enjoys this emo mood.  I will sit in front of the fire with my depressing music (the Travis version of “River” is my favorite) and my journal and pour my little heart out.  Sometimes it feels good to feel bad, especially when you see a way out.

I can’t wait to see the tree, to give my nieces hugs, and to play Uno Attack and eat pizza on my birthday.

Southern California does a lot of things well.  Fall is just not one of them.  Living here, there’s a lot about Washington that I miss, but this is probably my only deal breaker when it comes to making California my permanent home.

I tried to convince myself that Fall is a state of mind.  And, hey, I kind of even believe that, but I do not have the focus to convince myself it’s Fall when it’s 100 degrees outside and I’m sweating like it’s July.

When I was in fifth grade, my class spent a week at a camp and around the campfire on our last night we did a snow dance. Sure enough, we woke up to snow the next morning.  I’m wondering if there’s some kind of dance I can do to bring Fall to California.  I mean, it won’t be like it is in Washington, but if it just dipped down into the low 70s, I think I could eat some candy corn and convince myself it was just like the real thing.

Last year I spent my fourth of July at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena with thousands of people all there to witness the biggest fireworks show West of Chicago.  That was Americafest 2008.  This year I was back for Americafest 2009.  I didn’t go back for the crowds.  Or for the $5 pretzels.  Or because I found the name Americafest too tempting to resist. I was there for the marching bands.

As I mentioned in my post last year, I love marching bands.  It has something to do with the years I spent marching myself, but my appreciation goes beyond that.  I’m not itching to grab my clarinet and hit the field.  I’m content taking it all in as an observer.  I always get a kick out of watching people do what they love to do.  These kids love playing their instruments and marching around, even if it means spending a great deal of time in an ugly and uncomfortable polyester uniform.

My experience with band was not so awesome.  First, I played the clarinet from fifth grade all the way through high school, but I was never that into it and I was never very good.  I kept going because my friends were in band and I needed something to put on college applications.  Second, the marching program began at my high school when I was a Sophomore.  We weren’t part of a long tradition; we were the first.  And let me tell you something if it’s not completely obvious, marching is hard, but marching while playing an instrument is really hard.  Much harder than it looks.  It took me a couple years just to get so I could march in time (you know, “left, left, left, right, left”).  Marching in formation while playing decently was something else all together.  Third, being in band was not cool. There was nothing so terrible about sitting in the stands at football games wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, while playing pep songs, but donning an ill-fitting polyester uniform and marching out onto the field was embarrassing, especially because we were not good at all.  Let’s just say I was not rocking any clarinet solos to thunderous applause.

I never thought of marching band as anything more than something to get through while hoping my giant hat hid most of my face until our band was invited to participate in Band Day at the University of Washington.  UW is a huge school with an awesome marching band.  Watching them put on a show during half-time at Husky Stadium was an experience.  It was electric and I’ve been in love with marching bands ever since.  It’s the one reason I regret attending small liberal arts colleges instead of big universities.

The question for me is what’s not to love about marching bands?  You’ve got the catchy tunes (The Hey Song, Oye Como Va, Smoke on the Water, Iron Man, Land of a Thousand Dances, Ina Gada Da Vida, etc.).  The fun formations.  And people having a good time.  I love when they do some kind of high-step or break into a run.  But, the best of the best is organized chaos.  I’m not sure if that’s the official name, but I’m referring to this move where the band starts running around chaotically (preferably to Flight of the Bumblebee) and then they run straight into their places in the formation.  I guess it’s hard to explain, but it’s magic in person.

I hope one day to tour the universities of the South where they really know how to march.  Maybe as “research” of some kind.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day, which you clearly know already since you’re wearing green.  We just had a little party at work in honor of this day.  I had a cupcake with green frosting and a 7-up (because it comes in a green can).  And that is St. Patrick’s Day in a nutshell for me.  I am 1/8th Irish, whatever that means, but I don’t like corn beef, cabbage, or even Guinness.  Oh, and I’ve never been to Ireland, I don’t have family there (that I know about), and I basically have zero attachments to Irish culture.  The only Irish thing about me is my last name.

But, who the hell cares.  This is the day that we wear green.  This is the day where everyone’s Irish, and people like me who are kind of* really Irish wear shirts and pins announcing this fact.  This is the day we eat green cupcakes, and who can argue with green cupcakes?

Seriously, though, someone tell how it’s possible to enjoy Guinness, because I tried once and I couldn’t even choke down more than a sip.  Am I doing something wrong or is it just terrible?  I think I hurt my dad’s Irish pride that day he watched me make terrible faces as I downed an ounce of Guinness.

Anyway, enjoy this very green day.  Don’t party too hard.

*I’ve heard from non-Americans that they think it’s weird we go around saying things like “I’m Irish” or “I’m Italian” when we’re not from Ireland or Italy, and the closest attachment we have to these countries is ancestors we never knew.  But, eh, I think it’s just part of American culture, and I don’t see any harm in it.  Still, if I ever do visit Ireland or Germany or Austria or Norway or Italy, I won’t say “I’m Irish/German/Austrian/Norwegian/Italian” and expect them to invited me into their homes like a long lost sister.

It’s almost 2 am, and I’m sitting here eating crackers and drinking water.

I want to update you on my Valentine’s Day, because it didn’t go quite like I expected. Somehow I ended up on the floor of Lisa’s bathroom for several hours.

Sober Ashley showed up a little late, grabbed some wine and joined in the conversation. Tipsy Ashley ate some dinner and said several things that Sober Ashley would never say. Then Tipsy Ashley had one too many glasses of wine and transformed into Drunk Ashley. Drunk Ashley rested on the ground for a while until she was in the bathroom throwing up. She spent the next hour or two on the bathroom floor, recovering.

I feel the need to share this with you, because, well, it’s a first for me. I’ve never been that drunk before, and I hope to never be again, because it was miserable. Also, I don’t get to tell stories like this ever.

Other than my time spent on the bathroom floor, I actually had a good time. And, for the record, none of this had anything to do with being depressed on Valentine’s Day. It could have been any day.

As I was leaving, I said to Lisa: “Don’t think less of me.” I was just joking, but later I was thinking about how much I’ve changed. I am a goody goody. Long ago I had reasons for being so, many of them religious. When I realized most of that legalistic stuff was just crap, I gave up the silly rules. But, the stigmas weren’t so quick to fall away. I didn’t start drinking until I was 22, and even then, I hated buying alcohol for myself. It felt shameful somehow.

Maybe this sounds stupid, but spending hours drunk on a bathroom floor and feeling no shame for it–not even worrying that someone might think less of me–felt liberating. I gave up the rules, and the stigmas and judgment followed.

That said, I’m never drinking again.

Catching up on blogs, I see a lot of Christmas recaps. The thought really hadn’t occurred to me. This Christmas was about as weird as I expected.

• It started at the airport. I landed at SeaTac, found my dad, and we waited by the luggage carrousel. We waited and waited and waited. But, my beat up black rolling suitcase didn’t show. Finally we decided to wait in the slowest line ever to see what was up. I didn’t even want to face the thought that my luggage had been lost. The lady checked all my information, and then she went to look in this area I’d already checked. I was losing hope. But, surprise surprise, she came rolling back with my suitcase! I couldn’t help but talk back when she said something about how I must have missed it. It definitely wasn’t there! Definitely.

• Then there was the snow. It had already been on the ground for days when I arrived. I know many of you would laugh at snow like this, but the thing is that we are just not equipped to deal with it. There are very few plows, they don’t salt the streets, and people don’t know how to drive. It was so fun watching the snow fall, but—ahh!—cabin fever.

• I stayed with my dad for the first half of my trip. When I got there, he had almost nothing in his fridge except drinks and condiments. We braved the weather to get some food. Staying with my dad is always a vacation. We eat, we drink, we watch movies. It’s fun.

• My birthday was a total loss. I broke the ten-year tradition of having a pizza party (I know, how mature) at my house with my family and best friends. We were going to go out to dinner, but no one could drive. As my mom reminded me several times, it was the first birthday of mine she’d ever missed. I would have been more upset about it, but it didn’t feel anything like my birthday. For the record, turning 25 didn’t bother me at all. And, I’ll celebrate in January with my bffs.

• Christmas Eve and Christmas felt surprisingly normal. Christmas Eve we eat a meal of appetizers at my dad’s house. I pretty much only ate snacks and appetizers the entire time I was home, so the meal itself wasn’t too special to me. But, we had a good time.

• Christmas, we had brunch at my brother’s house with most of the fam. This is pretty typical for us. The only thing was that my mom and step-dad weren’t there. Later, we went to my step-dad’s sister’s (titles get complicated in blended families) house for a real Christmas dinner.

• I didn’t get anything interesting for Christmas. Mostly money and gift cards.

• The day after Christmas, my brother dropped me off at Lisa’s parent’s house. That made me feel like I was in high school. We played games!!! I won two games of electronic LIFE. Then we played Scattergories. The results of that are unimportant. Then we played another game of electronic LIFE, and I won decidedly—like, mandate won. We spent the next 4.5 hours eating pizza and watching What Not to Wear. Of course we provided our own commentary, and planned out how Lisa would nominate me and I would nominate her for the show.

• I fell in love with my iPhone all over again. In my normal life, there’s almost always a computer at arm’s length, but here at home, the internet is far less accessible. I pushed my little iPhone to new heights, and it is awesome.

• Saturday, I got sick.

• Sunday, I went home.

I don’t know. It wasn’t a bad trip. If this was a vlog, I’d shrug my shoulders and say, “eh, it was just kind of weird.” Then I’d smile.

Generally, my early twenties were far more awkward. I was so uncertain about what I was doing and who I was becoming. I feel so much better about all that now. But, now going home feels so awkward. My parents who were married at 19 skipped this weird stage between leaving home and making a home for themselves. I hate that I’m kind of relieved that I won’t be going home for at least another six months.

I mean, Happy Festivus,

Also known as, way to get everyone at the grocery store staring at you, and way to lose an argument with your dad about whether you’re addicted to your iPhone.

My first holiday cup of the season.

Layers. I feel like a marshmallow, but it’s cold here.

Varieties of fake cheese.

Pepto-Bismo for after you finish all of your fake cheese.

Snow!!! And, we’re supposed to get a blizzard tonight. This is pretty rare for Western Washington.

Christmas cookies!

My dad as we passed this car: “Looks like someone you’d want to have a conversation with.” Funny, dad.

My first ever Long Island Ice Tea. Certainly not my last!

I’d like to see my own books up there one day.

After I listed all the PhD programs I applied to, my dad said, “I didn’t hear the University of Washington.”

He got over that quickly, and has now decided I’ll be attending Vanderbilt in Tennessee. Sounds good. Let me in please!

Who wants one of these classy Seattle shot glasses?

How weird is this mini purse?

Another gift idea. Who couldn’t use a talking coin jar?

Candles: what to get a girl when you can’t think of anything else.

Socks!! When I was packing, I had a really hard time finding any real socks. I guess I don’t need them often in California.

My dad’s Christmas tree.  I think it’s just perfect.

I have a little confession.

I haven’t bought a single present yet.

It’s not a big deal. I don’t buy many presents anymore. I’ve been playing the poor grad student card for quite a while. I ask people not to buy me presents, and most of them listen. But, like, I haven’t done anything for my mom, and whatever I get her has to be sent to Alaska. I should do something for my nieces too, but those gifts also have to be sent to Alaska. I’m realizing this all right now as I write. Hmm.

Okay, but for the most part, I’m not buying gifts. I guess this is a little sad. Opening gifts is a fun thing to do. But, honestly, I don’t miss gifts much. I mean, there’ nothing like getting someone the perfect gift, but more often I feel like I’m just getting someone something because it’s expected, and it’s impossible to make every gift perfect.

Sometimes it’s the people you know the most who are the hardest to shop for.  There are such high expectations, because you’re supposed to know them, and therefore know what they want.  I mean, I’ve received gifts before that, while nice, made me realize that the person giving me the gift didn’t know me very well.  Or, at all.  Or, maybe they just weren’t thinking about me when they bought the gift.  Maybe my expectations were too high.  But, if gifts are going to make me feel worse about the relationships in my life, then they don’t seem worth it.

The other day, I actually found myself thinking that I didn’t care about the gifts–I just wanted to spend time with my family.  Wow.  That’s straight out of a Hallmark Channel movie.  I don’t mean to say I’ve ever been extremely materialistic, but when did I get so mature that I didn’t care at all about the gifts?

Was the point of this post that I need to go buy some gifts or that I’d rather skip gifts all together?  I don’t know.  This is a very new thought for me.  I’ve always been pro-gift.  I’ll have to think about this some more.

What do you think about gifts?  Do you enjoying shopping for them, wrapping them, giving them?

I’m done!!

The semester is over. I work tonight, and then it’s vacation! Friday, I fly home.

This happens at the end of every semester. I swear I never give myself any credit except in retrospect. Now that I’ve finished everything, I’m looking back and thinking, “How did I do that?”

By the time I was finishing my last paper Wednesday night, each word had become painful. When I made it to the end, I didn’t have enough energy to celebrate. But, when I got home from work, I did a few leaps in the air. They were very graceful.

I’m so looking forward to having some time to relax. There will be a lot of eating and drinking. I’m also looking forward to going home, and seeing my family. Thanks so much for all of your nice comments on yesterday’s post. I’m determined to have a good time, and I think I will.

High five!

I meant to write this post weeks ago when it first happened. As some of you know, my mom and step-dad are living in Alaska right now. Several weeks ago, they decided not to come home for Christmas as originally planned. I got a little emotional, but I tried to hide it as I talked to my mom over the phone.

It’s not just that I love them and want to see them. They’re, like, the center, and without them, things just don’t feel the same. When I go home, I stay with them. They host Christmas. We all gather at their house. That’s the tradition.

I don’t get homesick often. I don’t have the need for home to go unchanged like I did when I first left. But, Christmas is something else.

I’ll be spending the day with my dad, brother, and sister. We have our own traditions, and I love them. Every Christmas Eve we eat a bunch of appetizers and finger foods and watch a movie. Like I said, I love it. I might like it even more than the more formal celebration we have the next day. But, without the formal stuff, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas.

My family is not big on tradition. I’m not big on tradition myself. I challenge it every day in school. But, lately I find myself craving it. I guess my life is so dynamic–so constantly changing–that I look for stable things–things I can count on–to hold me down, especially at Christmas.

I hope that when I’m older, and if I have a family of my own, I’ll put the time in to make traditions happen. I’ll put up the garland and the tree and the lights. And, it will feel like Christmas.

1. Productivity: I have been on a roll since Tuesday.  I’ve gotten so much done that I’m actually ahead of my own schedule.  Friday night, I wrote a paper, which means I’m completely done with one class.  Yesterday, I spent the day completing PhD applications.  I was only going to finish the three due on Monday, but I finished them all instead, which means I can take it easy over Christmas break.  I asked another professor for a recommendation, and she agreed, so I can finally feel like I’m doing all I can to make this happen.

2. My niece: I’ve already told you I have two amazing and adorable nieces, who for some reason think I’m awesome.  I’ve heard this from my step-brother and my step-dad before, but my mom said it again last night.  The youngest of my nieces is constantly asking things like, Would Ashley like this?  Does Ashley wear dresses?  Does Ashley have a bathing suit?  What color is it?  Would Ashley wear this?  Where is Ashley right now?  The funniest thing is that even though she’s constantly asking them these questions, she gets really embarrassed when they tell me.  My mom is very sensitive to this, so she walked into another room before she told me last night.  I don’t know how I got these girls thinking I’m some kind of fashion icon, but I’ll do anything to keep it up.  I’ve always wanted to be the cool aunt.

3. The Weather: It’s the weirdest thing.  There’s rain in the forecast, and the highs are in the forties.  Up until now, it’s pretty much been summer here.  No sign of Fall, and definitely nothing like winter.  I’m loving this cold weather for two reasons: I need some help getting into the holiday spirit and I love wearing my pea coat, but I haven’t been able to pull it out of my closet for almost a year.  I think I’m going to wear it to work today!