Thank you to everyone who asked me a question.  I was surprised at how involved some of the questions were, but I really enjoyed answering them.

Paula asked, You have lovely straight hair. Is there a particular product you use to make it so lovely and straight?

Oh, how much do I love this question?  Thanks Paula.  My hair isn’t naturally straight; it’s a big mess of frizzy waves.  And so getting a good straightener basically changed my life.  I dream of one day owning a GHD, but I currently use a Sedu (in the past, I used a Chi; they work about the same).  The straightener does most of the work (I straighten my hair in three layers, so I get every piece), but I recently started using a really good shampoo and conditioner (David Babaii for Wildaid) and I occasionally use Chi Silk Infusion to make my hair extra smooth.

Emily Jane asked, If it’s not too bold to ask, how did you get into debt, and what’s your way of dealing with it?

I started accumulating debt immediately once I moved to California for grad school.  I’d always been very responsible with my money and I had a carefully planned out budget, but I’d never supported myself all on my own before.  Moving is expensive.  Rent is expensive.  Food is expensive.  Grad school is expensive.  I wasn’t making enough money.  That’s how it started and then once I was in the hole, I started avoiding the problem because it seemed too big to deal with.  Most of my debt is rent, food and school fees, but I was also spending irresponsibly.  I never went on crazy shopping sprees or anything, but I really couldn’t afford to be doing any shopping at all.  When I started my job at the library a year and a half ago, I was finally making enough to cover all of my expenses, but any extra money I had, I spent on clothes and makeup and nail polish and tv shows on DVD.  I continued to ignore the problem.  I think I had the crazy idea that somehow it would eventually solve itself.

I have made several half-hearted attempts to get a handle on my debt before.  I was always going to just buy these last few things and then get serious about it.  Finally in mid-November, a number of things came together; I swear I heard the name Dave Ramsey from no fewer than three random sources in the course of a week.  I started listening to Dave Ramsey’s show, I got his book from the library, and I read everything on his website.  His message is simple (and sometimes abrasive) and it finally got me to take responsibility for my debt and realize I could do something about it.

What I’m doing about it is working as much as possible and paying down my debts using the snow ball method.  The snow ball method means that you pay your debts from smallest to largest.  The idea is that by paying off the smallest first, you will have some early success and keep your motivation up.  At the end of December, I paid off my first card!!  Of course you can read more about all of this on my debt blog.

Allison Blass asked, I noticed on your 101 Things About Me list you said “My liberal politics are not separate from my Christian faith; they are motivated by my Christian faith.” (yay! me too!) Can you share your testimony and/or elaborate on #64 a bit, about how you reached that conclusion.

I wrote out my whole story in this post, but more generally, I’d say that I grew up with a strange mix of fundamentalist/supernatural religious beliefs in an individualistic/progressive setting (Western Washington), so I never held any beliefs that would be oppressive to anyone (except maybe myself), but for a while I held myself to a really strict standard and was really confused about how God worked in the world.  I was an English major in college, but I had to take a required theology course in order to graduate.  My undergrad was Lutheran, but very progressive.  For a girl who never had any intention of studying theology, I couldn’t have been in a better (more perfectly matched to me) place to do it.  The required class I took was taught by an adjunct professor who got his PhD at the very school I currently attend.  For the first time, I started thinking critically about my faith.  It wasn’t easy. I went through a mini-crisis, but I slowly emerged on the other side with a different kind of faith.

As my dad will agree, I pretty much came out of the womb a liberal.  I am very sensitive to the struggles of others and I believe we should all help each other out.  I also believe that’s exactly what that crazy dude Jesus was saying and that’s what the best of my religious tradition has always said.  I find the fundamentalism that holds so strong in the U.S. to be very exclusive and hateful and anti-intellectual; it’s really disgusting the way it has been used by the powerful to maintain the status quo.  (Jesus was definitely not a fan of the status quo.) To me, that is so obviously at odds with the tradition I know.  I have nothing profound to say about it, because it just seems so obvious to me that that’s not the way to live.  I am much more at home among liberal Christians (there are probably more than you think!).

Just to be clear, I don’t think old school conservatism is necessarily at odds with my faith.  If you want to help people, but you think the best way to help people is for them to help themselves, then that’s reasonable.  I hate the liberal stereotype that I’m an unreasonable person who just wants to throw money at every problem or hold a person’s hand through every struggle or tax the life out of every company.  But, excluding people, taking away their rights, protecting only the rich while removing programs to help people reach that same level, is bottom line unethical to me.

Herding Cats asked, How are you going to lure adorable boy?

I don’t know!  For some reason, looking uninterested and avoiding him is not working.

and What are some of your favorite books?

This is always a difficult question for me to answer!  There are books I enjoy and books I respect–they don’t always overlap.  But, I’ll name a few: Wasted (I have reread this book more than any other; I just love the way it’s written), The Rainmaker (I love most of John Grisham’s law books–not so much his other fiction), White Oleander, Here on Earth (This book bothered me so much the first time I read it, but I also really enjoyed it), Harry Potter (I love them all, but I love The Goblet of Fire the most), The Fire Next Time (As a person who studies theology and literature, I find James Baldwin really interesting and I like what he has to say about being an artist), We Were the Mulvannys (You know I love my JCO!), Sense and Sensibility (I love P&P too, but I enjoyed reading S&S more), Me Talk Pretty One Day (how can you not love David Sedaris?), The Robber Bride (I like every novel I’ve read of Margaret Atwood except The Handmaids Tale; this one and The Cat’s Eye are probably my favorites), and East of Eden and The Grapes of Wrath (Steinbeck uses a little too much description for me, but I otherwise love him and these two books).

phampants asked a million questions, but here are a few: What/who made you start blogging?

It was a combination of things.  I never really used live journal or anything like that when I was younger.  In college, I used the internet, of course, but not for social networking.  When I got to grad school, I started using the internet more and more.  I started getting into YouTube and watching lifecasters like iJustine and watching ZeFrank’s vlogs.  I’d kept a written journal for a long time and after getting more involved with social media, I started thinking about how much I’d like to share that more informal kind of writing.  I was really slow to get started.  I bought a domain in the Summer of 2007, but had no idea what to do with it.  I started to read other personal bloggers, which opened up a whole world to me.  I finally started my own blog in January 2008, but had no idea what to do with it, so I abandoned it quickly.  Then I restarted the blog in May 2008 and found 20sb in June 2008, which changed everything, because suddenly I had readers (like, two of them).  That’s how I started.

and Who is the most inspiration person in your life?

More and more all the time, my mom. Just trying to support myself makes me admire her so much for supporting three kids for a while on her own.

and Should we address you as “Dr.” when you get your Ph.D.?

I won’t require it, but I will appreciate it.

Tom asked, If you could only eat one kind of food for the rest of your life (not one dish, one cuisine), what would you choose?

I’m going to break the rules and choose one dish.  Pizza.  It’s always been pizza.

and Who are some of your favorite theologians and/or your thoughts on liberation theology?

This is a complicated question for me, because I’m really bad at picking favorites, we spend a lot of time criticizing the work of different theologians, and I’m a semi-anonymous blogger who doesn’t feel completely comfortable naming my favorites because it might make me too easily googleable by people I know.  So, I can’t really name my favorites, because they are tied too closely to where I study, but if anyone wants to know, hit me up on email or direct message me on Twitter.

I am very interested in liberation theology and most liberal theologies.  Religion and Christianity especially is so insanely complicated when you think that it has been used to oppress and justify the killing of people for thousands of years, yet is also a source of liberation for those same people.  One of my, possibly unfair, criticisms of people who choose to be Christian, but completely disassociate themselves from the whole tradition is that they never acknowledge the potential their religion has to be destructive.  What I know as Christianity is not oppressive, but how can I deny that it has been used that way and continues to be used that way?

I think liberation theology is very powerful in turning the same symbols around to say, “No, this is what it means to be Christian.”  When it comes to specific liberation theologies, I am interested in studying them, but not always interested in adopting them for myself.  They can be surprisingly conservative for being so radical and often use patriarchal/monarchical language for God and just generally hold an idea of God I don’t believe in.  But, it’s really not a surprise that, for instance black liberation theology or Latin American liberation theology, wouldn’t be personally appealing to me, since I am neither black nor Latin American!  I study feminist theology, which can be considered a liberation theology.  I am still working to pull together a feminist theology I find personally meaningful as a girl who didn’t grow up feeling oppressed, but does recognize the subtle ways patriarchy has shaped her life.

Amber from Girl with the Red Hair asked, I’m really interested in the structure/schedule of people’s days and you seem to have an insanely busy life so I’d love to know what a typical day in your schedule looks like?

I’m just starting a new schedule, like, this week!  It’s absolutely ridiculous–way worse than last semester–and I’m almost embarrassed to talk about it.  My days vary a bit, depending on whether I’m going to class or work.  Typically, though, I wake up at 8 or 8:30 am–as late as possible and later all the time.  Waking up is hard for me, especially when I’m not sleeping enough.  I drink a little bit of coffee and take the rest with me; I also check my blog comments!   At 9 am, I’m either in class or at my second job (I walk or drive the few minutes to get there).   Either between classes or when I get off of my second job at 2pm,  I have an hour off for lunch (I go back to my apartment to eat). At 3 pm, I’m starting my shift at the library and I work there until midnight (with an hour off for dinner).  When I get home, I eat, watch TV, and catch up on YouTube videos.  I take a shower and then go to sleep around 2 am.

That’s my schedule for Monday – Thursday.  Sundays I work at the library 3 – midnight, Fridays I work at my second job noon – 5pm, and Saturday I am off!

Ally asked What are your current feelings about living in southern CA? What do you miss about Washington? Do you think you’ll ever move back to the Pacific NW, or somewhere else entirely? Or will that depend on what job offers you get after school?

California grows on me more and more all the time.  I mean, it’s January and I walked around this weekend in flip flops and a short sleeve shirt (until it started raining on Sunday).  I also love the specific area I live in and its proximity to LA. But, I miss Washington and I would love to live in Seattle one day.  What I miss most is my family and the general feel of Western Washington (the rain is a big part of that), which is inspiring to me.  Sometimes, I watch Sleepless in Seattle just to get a sense of it.  There are a number of places I’d love to live, but my next move will probably depend on whereI can find a job.

nicopolitan asked Phampants and I are carpooling to VidCon. Would you like to carpool?

Yes!  I keep forgetting VidCon is not until July.

*and Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves Westford heading toward Eastford, 260 miles away. At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Eastford heading toward Westford. When do the two trains meet?

They will meet in 2 hours.

Jessica asked, Okay, so I know you work at a library. What kinds of stuff do you do and do you enjoy it?

Thank you for asking me this question, because I was just thinking about this last week and I even talked to my mom about it.  I love my job and I’m really grateful to have it and I like the people I work with, but I sometimes feel like a total grump when people say things like, “Oh, I would love to work in a library!”  Because, I do love working in a library, but a) it’s still a job, b) we’re a very busy library and I have to deal with people complaining constantly, c) we’ve had a lot of shakeups related to the financial crisis that have caused drama and uncertainty, d) I work long and late hours, e) books are heavy and dirty, and f) there are just so many of them (books, I mean) and they all need to be checked in or moved or something (hundreds of books pass through my hands every day).  So, yes, I do enjoy it, but it wears on me like any job would and loving libraries doesn’t always make up for it.

Now that I’ve got my grumpiness out, let me tell you what I actually do.  I spend most of my shift (5 hours) working at the circulation desk where I do allthe predictable things like check people in and out and deal with problems that come up. The other three hours I spend processing books that we sends out to other libraries, managing the study carrels, and doing other various tasks.

and At what age did you start writing?

As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t take to reading very quickly.  I was a bit of a late bloomer.  I think it was the same with writing.  Starting in second grade, I liked the idea of creating books, but fourth grade was the first time I was recognized for my writing.  In middle school, I did very well in writing, but it wasn’t really until high school that writing became my thing.  I started my first novel when I was 16.  It definitely starred a few members of NSYNC.

Nia asked, When everybody was asking you, What are you going to do with an English/ Theology degree, what WAS your answer?

Ahh, I hated that question!  If you know what you want to do with your degree, then the problem is solved.  But, if like me, you had no idea what you wanted to do, you’re left to give the shortest answer you can and then walk away and go complain to your fellow humanities majors.  I don’t think there are any good comebacks.  The best thing you can do is think seriously about what you might do with your degree (because it is a really important question) and then work toward that, even if you’re still uncertain. My critics shut up as soon as I got to grad school, though there’s still plenty of doubting to be done on my part.

Jordan asked, If you could take a trip to anywhere in the world (imagine time and money are no object), where would you go, and what is it about that place that interests you?

How fitting that you asked, because it would probably be England.  I know that might seem like a boring choice, but I have read so much British literature and I would love to see London and the English countryside.  It’s also the home to so many of my favorite musicians and I’d like to see, I don’t know, the environments they inhabited when writing my favorite songs.  My second choice would probably be Amsterdam, because it’s the favorite place of so many of my favorite people.

Elle asked, What led you to choose theology as your course of study?

I took a required theology class halfway through my junior year of college and it immediately struck me as more important and engaging than anything else I’d ever studied. I love the big questions.  They continue to fascinate me.  I love literature and I love to write, but I felt like I could explore my interests in both without extended study.  I didn’t feel the same way about theology.

and How is it living in California? Was it a scary transition picking up and moving to a state where you knew no one?

I like California and I’m very glad I chose to come here.  I wasn’t that scared, but I was worried that I was making a mistake.  I actually came down here for my freshman year of college and disliked it enough to move home, so I wasn’t just worried I was making a mistake–I was worried I was making the same mistake for the second time.  I must confess, though, that even after making this move, when I considered moving again for my PhD, I was really scared.  I do want to make another move after I finish school, but that will depend on where I get a job.

Shannon asked, Is there a certain life motto that you live by? Or a favorite quote that you have?

I wouldn’t say I have a motto, despite spending a lot of time when I was in middle school looking for one (I was obsessed with quotes for a while).  I love a lot of lyrics (many of them are from David Gray and I’ve posted them before).  One of my favorites from David Gray is “What I say, what I think, what I put down in Ink. I’m only trying to find a way to understand.”  That’s a good reminder to me that it’s not always about getting things perfect, but exploring the world and what you think of it.  I also like a quote from Anna Westin that was something like, “There will never be a moment when you are not you.”  Like everyone else, I’m a complicated mess and sometimes I do things I’m not proud of, but that’s part of who I am just as much as anything else.

Alexandra asked, What are you listening to right now?

I have pretty boring taste in music.  I listen to the same people all the time, rarely letting anyone new in.  Most recently (like, months ago) I started listening to Augustana.  Over the weekend, I was listening to a lot of U2.  My favorite is their first greatest hits CD.

and What’s your thesis about? (If you can tell us)

I finished my thesis last Spring.  It was about naturalism and the question of whether it matters if there is a personal God or not.  I wrote more about it here.

and What’s your opinion about evolution?

I take it to be true.

Amy asked, Are you happy?

Yes, very happy and I have been for a number of years now.  There are things I think could make me happier than I am now, but my experience and people smarter and happier than I am tell me that being happy is 95% attitude (and mental health) and 5% circumstances.  Sometimes stress and anxiety get in the way of my happiness, but when I remove the things from my life that cause me stress, I’m not happy.  It comes with the territory of really living.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wps1vWr1B_0

I’m back again already! I’ve caught the vlogging bug, and since I’m a little obsessive, I couldn’t hold myself back. I’ve recorded several, so I might bombard you for a while. Eventually, I hope to dedicate one post a week to vlogging.

I promised myself I wouldn’t give any disclaimers with these videos, but I can poke fun at myself. So, if anyone’s looking for a drinking game, take a shot every time I say “anyway . . .” or any variation thereof. Transitions get a little tricky when you’re talking to a computer that doesn’t talk back.

So, this is my 100th post! I don’t really have anything to say about it, but it seemed too significant not to even acknowledge. 100. Awesome. In celebration, I’ll let you know 100 more things about me than is really necessary. It’s a list I’ve been working on for a while, and it’s finally complete.

100

1. I think I have decent taste in music, okay taste in books, and terrible taste in movies.
2. I make weird faces when I’m thinking, and I always have. Once in a while someone will tell me so. It’s embarrassing.
3. I study theology. I think that most people don’t quite know what that means, and I’m not very good at explaining it, but always willing to try.
4. I have two adorable nieces who, for no good reason, look up to me as a fashion icon. It’s funny, because they have more style in their pinkies than I have in my whole body. I’m pretty sure we have only them to blame for the return of leggings.
5. I have a Brady Bunch-like family. We’re just missing Bobby. I’m Cindy, if you’re wondering. Yay for blended families!
6. I love living alone.
7. I have really long, skinny, alien-like fingers and toes.
8. I was in the marching band in high school. I played the clarinet. Marching is harder than it looks.
9. I can’t watch Top Gun without wanting to drop everything to become a fighter pilot. I know I’m not alone here.
10. In high school, I was inseparable from my friend Lisa. We had every class together. We haven’t had a class together in 6 years, but we still talk through facebook messages every day.
11. I hate sweaters. Lisa knows this, and wears sweaters just to spite me.
12. I have a BA in English and Religion. Going to grad school shut up all the people asking me, “What are you going to do with that?” Now, I’m the only one asking that question.
13. I love music by Coldplay and David Gray so much that I can’t imagine my life without either.
14. I have the worst eating habits ever, and it takes all my concentration to try to eat healthy on a regular basis.
15. I love to run in the rain. First you’re miserable, then you’re all into it, then you’re miserable again because your legs sting with every drop that hits them, and then you finish off feeling like Rocky
16. My favorite color right now is black.
17. I fear coming off as pretentious.
18. I have three piercings in each ear, and I’m completely anal about how my earrings coordinate. Getting it right would probably take me an extra 15 minutes every morning, so instead I end up wearing the same studs every day for weeks on end.
19. I live in a studio apartment the size of a small box.
20. It’s almost impossible to make me really mad, but really easy to annoy me. Annoyance is a much stronger emotion for me than anger.
21. Pizza is my favorite food. On that fact, I never waver.
22. My favorite candy bar is Mr. Goodbar.
23. I like to organize things (like, physical/material things–not events), and I’m good at it.
24. Throughout most of high school, I was obsessed with *NYSNC. It’s an embarrassing fact, but I’d never give up the good times I had being a fan.
25. If there’s such a thing as number dyslexia, then I’m sure I have it.
26. Once, I randomly spotted Bill Nye the Science Guy in a Seattle mall.
27. I’m shocked to be so mentally healthy.
28. I haven’t played a video game since we had a working regular Nintendo, but I love board games.
29. I have brown eyes that sometimes turn green.
30. Bobby Hill from King of the Hill is one of my favorite TV characters.
31. Cal from East of Eden is one of my favorite characters in a novel.
32. Feeling Strangely Fine is one of my favorite ever CDs. It was all I listened to in 8th grade. Semisonic is so much more than “Closing Time.”
33. I’ve worn the same two rings on my fingers for 10 years now. I hate them both, but they’ve been with me (literally, on my fingers) through almost every major event in my life.
34. I rarely own fewer than 10 pairs of jeans at a time.
35. I don’t like the sound of my voice. I sound 10.
36. I like grammar, and I like to talk about grammar, but I am not a grammar Nazi.
37. I hated the book Tuesdays with Morrie, and I was kind of turned off when this guy I liked named it as a favorite.
38. At Starbucks, I get either regular coffee or a caramel frapuccino.
39. I feel really self-conscious talking to kids when other adults are around. That makes me sound like a crazy person.
40. I’m not sure whether I want to have kids or not.
41. I’m pretty terrified of marriage, but I still think I want to get married some day.
42. I’d love to live in Seattle, but it’s unlikely that I ever will, because there aren’t a lot of job opportunities there for theology professors.
43. My favorite kind of people are nice people.
44. I’ve seen Coldplay in concert 7 times. Every single time was awesome.
45. I love to blog.
46. I realize more and more all the time that I’m a total west coaster.
47. I used to want an accent, and was disappointed that I speak exactly like they do on TV. Except, I say “pop!”
48. I’d like to publish a novel someday very soon.
49. I had blond hair as a kid, and some people who have known me forever still refer to me as a blond even though my hair has been brown for at least the last 10 years. Of course, I did mess with them by dying it blond for a while.
50. In 2007, I donated 11 inches of my hair.
51. I hate repeating myself, especially stories. It makes me feel phony somehow.
52. I’m pretty sure Boston Baked Beans were sent straight from heaven. The only place I ever find them is Walgreens, so that cashier practically knows me by name now.
53. I can tell you how the Baby-sitter’s Club is organized.
54. I hold writing utensils really awkwardly–like, death-grip style.
55. I get self-conscious when people stare at me while I’m talking.
56. I’m bothered on some very deep level by small water bottles. I especially can’t stand when someone drinks 3/4 of one and then throw it away.
57. Buying a professional straightener changed my life.
58. When it comes to reading people, I am almost arrogant in my abilities. I always think I’m right.
59. I have a major imposter complex, and even though I know it’s irrational, I cannot stop it from affecting the way I think. I’m always waiting for people to figure out that I’m not as smart/talented/genuine as they think I am.
60. I’m either the calmest anxious person ever or the most anxious calm person ever.
61. I think I will one day develop an interest in cooking. Yeah, still waiting on that.
62. Once I make a decision, I have no patience at all. It’s all I can think about.
63. I always seem to think I’m more misunderstood than I really am. I’m often surprised when people say spot-on things about me.
64. My liberal politics are not separate from my Christian faith; they are motivated by my Christian faith.
65. I feel sorry for everyone. I watch crime shows, and feel sorry for the criminals when they are caught.
66. I hate the idea of martyrdom.
67. Nothing is meant to be. How can it if we have free will?
68. I like to drive.
69. I’m competitive about really strange things. For instance, if I’m leaving a place at the same time as someone else, and we have the same destination, I want to get there first because I picked the best route and made the best driving decisions. Does anyone else even think about that?
70. I’m not a perfectionist. I don’t need for things to be perfect. But, I do need for people to think I’m perfect.
71. I was once accused of being a bleeding heart liberal. I didn’t know how to respond, because I don’t hear that as an insult.
72. I sometimes appear cool and removed, but under a very thin skin I’m a vulnerable wimp. I cry very easily, I take everything personally. I hate it.
73. I’m fascinated by the student movement of the 1960s. I’m embarrassed that I’m not .3% as active as those students.
74. I love my MacBook Pro like the child I don’t have.
75. I never wear dresses. When I do, people say “Ooooh, why are you so dressed up?”
76. My family and friends all seem to think I have a secret boyfriend.
77. I always have a hair band on my wrist. Always.
78. I get panicked if I ever realize I’m without water and/or chapstick.
79. Cleaning is my favorite form of procrastination. It makes me feel productive.
80. I have a really low tolerance for sugar, but it very rarely slows me down.
81. I love watching the Olympics, especially swimming.
82. When my work shoes make that clickity-clack sound as I walk, I think of my mom who always wore heels when I was a kid.
83. In some ways, I have a lot of confidence, and in others I am constantly shocked at my success.
84. I find it almost impossible to picture myself 10 or 20 years from now. I seem to be moving in the right direction, but I cannot believe things will really work out like I’ve planned.
85. Sometimes I look to material objects to fill temporary holes in my life.
86. At night, I transform from nerd to super nerd when I don my glasses and retainer.
87. I love the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies. I’ve watched them too many times to count.
88. Like the Washingtonian I am, I am a total fair weather sports fan. I love the Seahawks, but I usually only pay attention when they’re making news. It’s especially hard now that I don’t even live in the state.
89. I’ve only ever owned cars with manual transmissions–both of them Civics.
90. My uniform: jeans, t-shirt, hooded sweatshirt, Converse. I’m like a walking GAP ad. So original.
91. Every time I go to Applebee’s, I order an Oriental Chicken Rollup. It’s kind of my thang. People make fun of me for it.
92. Speaking of, I eat the same things almost every single day for months and sometimes years on end. A bagel for lunch has been standard since middle school.
93. I’m a coffee snob. It’s not my fault. I grew up drinking Starbucks, and it’s ruined me for Foldgers.
94. I watch makeup tutorials on YouTube all the time, but I can still barely apply eyeliner.
95. Target steals my money on the regular.
96. I have a big scar on my foot from surgery I had when I was 17.
97. I often look at my watch without registering what time it says. Then I have to look again, because I don’t know what time it is!
98. I am a super picky eater. Name most interesting things, and I will crinkle my nose.
99. I carry a big green purse, and it makes me feel like a sophisticated adult.
100. I do drink, but I know nothing about alcohol. I usually have to ask someone for a recommendation so as not to embarrass myself.

First, I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know why I want to start a blog. I can hardly keep up with my journal. And, I can’t believe I have anything to say that anyone will be remotely interested in. Finally, the thought of putting myself out there makes me want to run and hide somewhere. I have a hard enough time being me in my real life, so why add to my stress? But, I can’t help myself. I want to write, and I want people to read what I write. I want to put myself out there, because I want to get something back. And, I find other people’s boring lives fascinating, so what makes this boring life any different?

About me? It’s always a tricky question, and one I can’t answer without thinking of how I want to be perceived by the person I’m talking to. Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if we didn’t have to worry about what other people think of us, but isn’t that part of being social and living in relation to others? If you take that away, then what’s left? I picture myself in a white room staring at the walls. Somehow, someone thinking I’m weird or stupid sounds better than staring at blank walls. I hope you agree with me on this one.

Anyway, I was in an interview last week, and the woman asked me about myself. I wasn’t surprised by this question, since I’d read a couple hours before on a site with helpful interview tips that this is the most common question in interviews. So, as I was instructed by the site, I told her about my education and work history. She asked me some questions about what I study, and I tried to describe the particular movement in theology that I’m interested in. I was pretty happy with myself, because I managed to explain it to some degree without making myself look like an idiot or making it seem like I thought she was an idiot. Then, she said, “So tell me about yourself.” Okay, so I got more personal and told her I’m originally from Washington state, and also, I like to write. We talked for a minute about Washington weather (it was raining outside, which is of course odd for Southern California, so it seemed like an appropriate topic). We talked also about my writing. I like to journal (though I hate calling it that), and I like to write fiction. She thought that was very interesting, which amazed me, because more often people don’t. Then, and I think you know where I’m going next, she asked, “So what can you tell me about yourself.” At this point I was actually trying to picture my facebook profile. What are my interests again? I think I said something about liking board games, which made me feel 12 and like a major dork (and not the chic kind). Thankfully, we moved on after that, because I was getting to the point where I was going to have to either tell her about my high school obsession with *NSYNC or say straight out that there was nothing left of myself to tell!

So, here I go, hopefully writing to someone, but maybe just the idea of people reading this is enough.