I was thinking about those rare people who always make you feel like everything is going to be okay. They just have that thing about them that you feel like you can trust. They aren’t going to fall apart or disappear or say the wrong thing. You just want them around. But, it’s a little bit scary to be that dependent on another person, and it’s unfair to treat a person as more than a person, because we all need permission to fall apart and disappear and say the wrong thing.
But the inconsistency of the world is too hard to handle sometimes and I still find myself looking for things I can always count on. This was something I thought a lot about as I prepared to travel alone. Before I left for Germany, I read an interview with Mindy Kaling where she said that before she died, her mom gave her the advice: “You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.”
It is not the easiest thing to do. I found that enjoying being alone is not the same as being your own best friend–being a comfort to yourself when things are not going well. It means liking yourself and trusting yourself on a new level. None of this to say that you shouldn’t count on other people (other people are the best) or that every new experience means falling apart (I was fine in Germany). Just that you always have yourself and that is something.