Early on this Summer, I discovered a thing called getting enough sleep, and my life felt forever changed. I spend most of the year working late and yet still trying to get up early, because it makes me feel productive. Working normal hours gave me a chance to go to sleep at a normal adult time, so that I was actually rested when my alarm went off in the morning. I was going through some emotional things, and I thought it best to just be super nice to myself for a while and get some sleep.
I can’t remember the exact timeline, but know for a while I felt super human. I thought I had discovered the secret of life: eight hours of sleep and two cups of coffee. I was on top of the world for a while, but after finishing all the guest posts, exhaustion hit me. My arms actually felt tired, as if they were exhausted from reaching for that keyboard. Or, as a friend smartly pointed out, probably from being tense while writing all those words. So I was nice to myself for a couple weeks.
I found myself exhausted again last week, and even just walking home from work in the heat felt like a big production. It’s hot. Really hot. And not having a car means walking everywhere, and even though I was walking almost everywhere before, it turns out that almost makes a difference. Walking to work in the morning, there’s a part where I’m headed dead East, and I feel like I’m walking straight into the sun. I was so exhausted one day that let’s just say I have a new appreciation for Sam and Frodo. I probably wouldn’t make it to Mordor.
For a lot of years, I had stress and adrenaline on my side. They hid from me how I was really feeling. Now it seems like my body is saying, actually you do need sleep and how about eating real food and let’s save drinking for the weekends. I’ve still managed to remain productive, but I’ve compromised because it’s hot and I’m tired.
I could approach this from a theological perspective, but that seems unnecessary. Of course the way you feel physically affects how you think and what you can do. And I’ve been getting by on well enough for many years, but I would like to feel better than well enough. I’m working on taking better care of myself if for no better reason than that it serves creativity.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s interesting that your way to take care of yourself is to essentially do healthy things like eat well and sleep more. For me it’s the opposite; I eat like crap and stay up late doing thinsg that are, in the short term, more fun than sleep.
But yes. I hear sleep and real food do help you.
As a male, lack of sleep is bad for your heart and your sex drive. I’m going to actively change my sleeping and eating habits soon.
So you know how James Cagney felt in White Heat. As for Sam and Frodo they did have a few things in their favour that you don’t have. Your creative so you’d find a way.
I liked your thinking on a decisive approach to preventive tiredness but like all things your body has its own clock and warranty. What you put into it comes back out, so said my granny.
On a philosophical note. Every day we get a day older…………………………………………………. and that’s where I stop because the road to Mordor is long, fraught with obstacles and adventure.
Pretty much, I laughed a lot at the Sam and Frodo part. Nerd alert!
I’m trying to honor my body more. I really related to you when you said you ran on stress and adrenaline. I feel like stress and adrenaline fuels most of my productivity. It doesn’t sound healthy.
I think that one day, your body just stops handling the things it used to do. It just quits on you. For this same reason, I can’t drink Mountain Dew and stay up until the sun rises. Eating too much soon became a bad idea after occasions when I could barely eat anything and now, I just forget. But the sleep, the sleep is nice. No more stress and adrenaline for any of us, not anymore.
I think the entire idea of every single person out there has their own, unique body clock. For example, I’ve suffered from insomnia for years, and a sleep specialist told me that I have permanent jet lag. Essentially my body thinks it is one time and by brain the other. I’m always jealous of people that can lay down and fall right asleep, but I think getting so little of it has helped me appreciate just how important it is.
I suppose this long winded comment was just really to say that you’re doing the right thing by focusing on it, and creating a routine that works for you. Yay!
I’ve been noticing this in myself as well. I still have the unfortunate habit of trying to do too much at night, which creates a vicious cycle of not getting enough sleep, expending all my energy at work, then not having any energy when I come home to do much. I still haven’t quite figured things out yet, but maybe someday.
Sounds familiar. Wait, so did you already get rid of your car? Last I heard you announced that you were probably going to, but I didn’t catch when you actually did! Did you sell it on Craigslist or what? I can certainly imagine that *almost* makes a difference!
I really need to do this, as well. I’ve fallen so far off the creativity and productivity track it’s not funny. I haven’t written anything valuable in months, my consistency sucks worse than I thought it did, and I’m just moving like a slug from day to day. I think I’m the worst I’ve ever felt. The good news, though, is my life has potential to turn around for the better soon. I have an interview at an advertising firm tomorrow and am moving into a house finally next month. I’m crossing my fingers and praying so hard I get the job and it will pay well. I hope things get better soon for you, too!