I mentioned in one of my #VEDA videos that I do not want to ever own a home and Ellen asked me to write about my reasons.
The minute I decided to get out of debt, I also started planning my life post-debt. I had never been able to think very clearly (or reasonably) about the future, because there was this huge mountain of debt blocking my view, but once I started to scale it, I saw the real possibilities before me. I was high on optimism at the time, so I was thinking I’d rent a bigger apartment, get a pet, buy a new car, and then start saving for a down payment on a house.
I admire my own optimism–it carried me through months of working like crazy to pay off my debt–but as the balance on my credit cards neared zero, I became more and more realistic about the future. I realized that I wasn’t going to magically be a different person once I was debt free and I realized that I didn’t want to work like crazy forever. I began to think about what I really wanted and not just what I could accomplish now that I had a taste of financial freedom.
I decided that I would rather quit my second job, so that I could spend more time writing (and sleeping). I decided that instead of buying a new car, I wanted to try living without a car at all. And I realized that owning a home was not in line with my dream of living many different places throughout my life.
I love Craftsman-style houses, and I always imagined that I would own a home (even if the decision to get a PhD meant it wouldn’t happen until I was 50). I thought I would probably return to Washington once I finished my degrees. But a couple years ago, I was hit with the desire to travel, and a desire even stronger than that to really experience different places by spending time living in each.
My impulse toward minimalism also makes me hesitant to commit myself to owning a house. It makes me anxious to think of belonging to anything that permanently. I might have felt differently when the housing market was in better shape and it was easier to sell and move on. But even when or if the market recovers, I no longer think of buying a house as the only reasonable thing to do with my money. It still makes sense for a lot of people, but it does not for me.
I was thinking about all of this at the beginning of last year, and then at some point I mentioned it to my parents, who I judge to be the most reasonable people I know, and my mom, dad, and step-dad all said that it made sense to them. Given the way things are now, they probably wouldn’t own either. My mom said, “You can just rent your Craftsman!”
It was such a relief to admit to myself that I didn’t want to buy a house. Instead of saving now for a down payment, I can travel. And instead of being stuck in one place in the future, I’ll have the freedom to live wherever I want. This is one of those adult conventions I didn’t even realize I was holding on to until I let it go. It opened up a whole new future to me.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I always saw buying a house as the important aspect of being an adult. Now I own it, and I wish at least 3 or 4 times a week that I’d rented instead. I love that I have my own space but the upkeep, the stress, the nonstop bills, can be really frustrating. Now that my life is in a huge transition after the divorce, I often have a difficult time thinking of what I want next for myself because I have this house & with this economy/market, I can’t just get up and move in 2 weeks if the job of my dreams came along. That burden is definitely a lot to handle so I applaud you for realizing what your priorities are early on before falling into the mode of home ownership.
Great post! I agree with all your points. This post is something I’ve been thinking over the past year since I moved to CA. For one thing, once you own something as big as a house, it begins to own you in many ways. Like you’ve already mentioned, it’s influence on your travel plans. And then of course there is the housing market fluctuation, something beyond direct control. I wouldn’t mind renting a nice apartment as long as I can. {There is a point where monthly rent in the Bay almost equals a mortgage payment…that’s another story.}I like the idea of renting because it dissuades me from hoarding. There something about the number of boxes increasing to fit available space. I would hate to have a garage filled with boxes of papers and plastic flotsam and jetsam.
For a very long time now I’ve believed that life is meant to be lived through experiences, not possessions.
For us, it’s not so much that we don’t want to buy a house but we don’t want to buy a house RIGHT NOW. Mostly it’s financial reasons. Also, we have no idea where we are going to end up. We like New York, but forever? I don’t know yet. I think buying a house really comes down to stability. If you’re going to rent a house in the same location for 15+ years, it probably makes more sense to buy (especially if it actually costs more / the same to rent). But for a lot of people our age, we just don’t know. Buying a house is a commitment, like marriage, and I don’t think it should be done lightly. So good for you for knowing where you are in life!
I own a house and travel, a lot.
I think if owning a home is something you really want to do, you should. The house is not going to keep you from following your dreams unless you let it. Sure, home ownership can be frustrating, and sometimes expensive, but I love the fact that I have a patch of land to call my own. Right now I live in South Korea, so I am renting it for a year and it’s covering the mortgage plus insurance and warranty payments. If I charged more I could actually make a tidy profit…. but I don’t want to rent my house out forever, and I don’t want to live in rentals forever either. I’m just saying, you can have both.
I’m also happily renting at this point, as it just makes the most sense for me right now. I’ve also found a job I’m really thrilled with, though, so don’t see myself going anywhere anytime soon. But I have camera, and soon want to have passport and will want to travel. Perhaps our paths may cross for travels at some point! That would be fun.
If I didn’t have a large, loud dog, I (probably) wouldn’t own a house. While I love my dog, I don’t love being a homeowner. I wish I had your insight before I made so many of these decisions.
I’m not in love with the idea of owning a house. You’re right; it’s a lot of money and a big commitment for people like us who want to travel and live in new, different places. Sometimes I think I SHOULD own a house someday because it’s one of those adult milestones that are expected, but to be honest, I’d probably be fine with never owning one.
I am really interested in hearing your opinion on this subject (ahem, why i asked you to post about it) so naturally I was really excited to read this. As someone who majored in Finance and minored in Real Estate, owning a home is something I have always expected, and still expect, to do someday. In the past, I haven’t understood why people would want to keep paying rent year after year and year, instead of “paying themselves” by gaining equity in a house as their mortgage declines with each payment. However, this mentality of mine has disintegrated over the years. Today, I sincerely agree with your reasoning. I work in the wireless industry, helping corporations transform their workplace, adapting to technology & moving towards supporting a more mobile workforce (allowing their employees to work at home, have the capabilities to work anywhere/anytime, no longer needing to be tied down to an office or desk or location). This is a worldwide trend & it’s a matter of time before companies start eliminating or severely minimizing office space as we know it, mark my words. My point is, times are changing. In the past, communication wasn’t what it is today. Where you lived was where you put down your roots, and where you stayed, because you had to. It wasn’t as feasible or as easy to travel, to “start a new life” somewhere, as it is today. In the past, you lived near your family, and then raised your own family there too. Today, it is a totally different world – and I think the housing market is morphing along with these mobility & communication changes.
I think you’re right on track with your assessment, and that many of us will not end up owning homes, or long term properties, when compared to past generations. {This is officially the longest comment I have ever left. SORRY.}
Thanks for sharing, I really liked reading this.
Owning a home scares me more than having a kid or getting married. It seems like SUCH a commitment! And not even a good financial investment, honestly.
I love, love, LOVE renting. I know I am in the minority where I live – renting an apartment after I’ve had a child – but I love it. It’s so perfect for us.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve thought “why did I buy this house?” I could probably pay off my mortgage. Ugh… I can honestly say that in the six years I’ve owned my house, not a single benefit has come from it (financial, emotional or otherwise). The housing market SUCKS right now, and it means that a lot of people are chained to their home as if it were a prison. I really look forward to the day that we find a resolution to our problem. I, for one, cannot wait to be a renter again. So much of it has to do with something you said – travel and the ability to go where ever my heart roams, is important to me. And in this situation, it’s not practical or possible.