About Crying At Work
There’s this rule about how women shouldn’t cry at work, because you immediately become The One Who Cried and everyone tap dances around you. I have experienced this first hand. I cried months into my second job, and it made everyone treat me like a piece of glass for the remainder of the time I worked there. I never cried again at work until I got my current position.
I’ve been here for four years, and I just realized that I have cried several times at work and never thought much about it. The weird thing is that I never cry about work. I just cry at work. And I could maybe get away with claiming that it’s only because I work weird hours, but I have in fact cried at work this Summer while working normal hours. It’s that quiet desperation kind of thing where tears are just leaking from your eyes while you help people, and they notice but don’t say anything, and you’re really grateful for that. I know it sounds pathetic and sad, but to me it just feels like a fact of life. I cry sometimes!
About Apologizing
I have heard people say that they’ve tried to stop apologizing for things they aren’t really sorry for, because it’s so easy to say, “I’m sorry” whether you’re really sorry or not. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple years, because it doesn’t take much for me to say I’m sorry. But every time I question myself, I reach the conclusion that I really am sorry.
Certainly there are varying degrees of, uh, sorriness, but I am sorry for hurting you and I’m sorry for not saying the right thing and I’m also sorry they were out of your favorite kind of ice cream. In order for them to really mean anything, apologies have to accompany some specifics about what you’re sorry for, and I think that’s where the difference between real harm and a lack of ice cream choices comes in. I’ve also been thinking a lot about forgiveness, but I don’t have much perspective on it yet. Maybe it will give me the opportunity to use this gif again in the future.
About The Hobbit
I have never properly blogged about what The Lord of The Rings means to me, because I was obsessed with the movies (and book) before I started blogging, so I can only say now that they once meant a whole lot and I still love them. I would watch the extended editions over and over again, including every commentary and all the special features. In fact, I think I still have everything memorized. What I wanted most in the world was for Ze Frank’s show to come back and to somehow be able to go back to that LOTR-obsessed time, and then both happened in one year with A Show and The Hobbit, and yet by some miracle I have not died of excitement. Whenever I see still images of The Hobbit on tumblr, I think it’s just old LOTR stuff before I remember that these are brand new movies, and I just ahhhhh. Love.
About Thoughts In Airports
I think it was at VidCon that I was saying that airports are a place of inspiration for me. I’ve had a lot of profound thoughts while sitting in airports, whether I was going home to Washington, visiting some place new, or returning to California. This is my favorite post I’ve ever written in an airport. So now it always feels weird to me when I’m in an airport and I have no significant thoughts. Nothing profound to record. Just an ordinary day. Sometimes I try to force reflection and sometimes I just eat Chex Mix and search my phone for a podcast to listen to.
About The Creepy Picture Where My Eyes Move
That’s how my mom referred to the above gif the last time I used it, and I thought it was adorbs. Sorry to creep you out again, Mom. But, thanks for this one, Joey!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
hehe, love the gifs :) I like these random thoughts too!
I MUST KNOW HOW YOU DO THESE MOVING PICTURES THINGS!
Ahem…
I’ve cried at work several times. A couple times I made it to the bathroom to just bawl my eyes out, but once I had to make do by ducking my head and pretending I had allergies when someone talked to me.
I’ve never been in an airport, so I’ve never had any profound thoughts there. However, I recently rode a subway, and had a few profound thoughts there.
Luckily, I read Harry Potter whilst blogging, and I’m pretty sure J.K. is about to issue a warrant for my blog’s removal because I talk about her characters too much.
OH YES. I get into the deepest thoughts at airports!! Maybe it’s the great people watching. Maybe it’s the fact I’m sitting in a gateway that will bring me to another land. Maybe it’s all that sitting around (I always arrive early). Whatever it is, I also enjoy thinking in airports :)
You know, I cried one day at my current job, and looking back on it, I absolutely cringe. I was just so overwhelmed, and a woman I respect and trust asked me what was going on because I “didn’t seem like” myself, and I just lost it. It happens to the best of us. I do try not to do it…and I try not to be visibly frustrated. Gah. Women in the workforce have such a fine line to walk for fear of being branded “emotional”, “crazy” or “intense”.
I love this post. I lost it at work twice this past year, and you know – the world didn’t end. My coworkers listened to my meltdown and then talked with me afterwards like I was a normal person. Thank goodness. And amen on airports. :)
I have to agree with you about airports being inspirational. I don’t know if it’s because of the whole metaphorical coming and going, ships passing in the night type of deal that makes it seem so, or if it’s just because there are so many people with so many different agendas gathered together, separately of course, in a quiet place of waiting and anticipation. Maybe it is both? I often come to profound realizations whilst waiting to board my plane. I make a point to always have a notebook with me, even though all of the things I’m feeling I can’t directly express with words.
What do you think about The Hobbit being turned into three movies? LOTR is my favorite of all time and I am skeptical, but holding off judgment.