At least once a day, someone finds my blog by searching some variation of, “I like talking to you.” I always imagine that they’ve met someone they, well, really like talking to and they’re trying to find a way to tell them. Instead of anything helpful, they find this post I wrote almost exactly two years ago about blogging.
Summer 2010 was a difficult one for me. Something small happened early on, and then instead of bouncing back, I just kind of spiraled into sadness. For all my talk of feelings, I don’t experience deep sadness very often, so I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I don’t know if my normal defenses were weakened or if I needed to connect to people in a way I never had before, but despite how difficult that Summer was, so many really good things came out of it.
I developed a habit of drinking a bottle of wine and taking to twitter, which resulted in #winetoreach. A tradition that some of my favorite people still carry on today. Then I decided to vlog every day in August (#VEDA), which became this really awesome thing that served as the basis for some of the most important friendships of my adult life. I went to VidCon for the first time, and got to see Ze Frank speak. Plus so many other small things that have mattered to me over the last couple years.
This Summer began in a way that seemed strangely similar, and I braced myself for spiraling sadness, but also wondered what good may come out of this. Instead of anything I expected, I found the friends I made during #VEDA showing up for me in new ways. It only took me a couple days of everyone wanting my opinion on everything to realize that there was something going on. And, my first reaction was to say, “I see what you’re doing, but I’m totes okay!!! No need for special attention!”
Then a robot friend said to me, “Know that I am invested in your well being. Because if you fall, we all fall.” And, you know, I stopped being so stubborn for just a second and let my friends be good friends. The thing that has changed most dramatically in the last two years is that I have a support system now, and I have become accustomed to sharing my problems instead of facing them all on my own.
This year, no spiraling sadness. Just a lot of people I still really like talking to.
1. I intend to write another post about why you should participate in #VEDA this year, but I hope this one sells it too.
2. Our topic on Totes Awesome Channel this week was about the best decisions we have made as adults, and that’s what got me thinking about this. My vlog is here.
3. If you are an internet stranger who found my blog by searching, “I like talking to you,” then kudos for reading this far, and know that there is no better way to say it. You already have all the words you need.