At least once a day, someone finds my blog by searching some variation of, “I like talking to you.” I always imagine that they’ve met someone they, well, really like talking to and they’re trying to find a way to tell them. Instead of anything helpful, they find this post I wrote almost exactly two years ago about blogging.
Summer 2010 was a difficult one for me. Something small happened early on, and then instead of bouncing back, I just kind of spiraled into sadness. For all my talk of feelings, I don’t experience deep sadness very often, so I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I don’t know if my normal defenses were weakened or if I needed to connect to people in a way I never had before, but despite how difficult that Summer was, so many really good things came out of it.
I developed a habit of drinking a bottle of wine and taking to twitter, which resulted in #winetoreach. A tradition that some of my favorite people still carry on today. Then I decided to vlog every day in August (#VEDA), which became this really awesome thing that served as the basis for some of the most important friendships of my adult life. I went to VidCon for the first time, and got to see Ze Frank speak. Plus so many other small things that have mattered to me over the last couple years.
This Summer began in a way that seemed strangely similar, and I braced myself for spiraling sadness, but also wondered what good may come out of this. Instead of anything I expected, I found the friends I made during #VEDA showing up for me in new ways. It only took me a couple days of everyone wanting my opinion on everything to realize that there was something going on. And, my first reaction was to say, “I see what you’re doing, but I’m totes okay!!! No need for special attention!”
Then a robot friend said to me, “Know that I am invested in your well being. Because if you fall, we all fall.” And, you know, I stopped being so stubborn for just a second and let my friends be good friends. The thing that has changed most dramatically in the last two years is that I have a support system now, and I have become accustomed to sharing my problems instead of facing them all on my own.
This year, no spiraling sadness. Just a lot of people I still really like talking to.
Notes
1. I intend to write another post about why you should participate in #VEDA this year, but I hope this one sells it too.
2. Our topic on Totes Awesome Channel this week was about the best decisions we have made as adults, and that’s what got me thinking about this. My vlog is here.
3. If you are an internet stranger who found my blog by searching, “I like talking to you,” then kudos for reading this far, and know that there is no better way to say it. You already have all the words you need.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I love you! And I’m so happy that you’re more comfortable talking and sharing some of the load of your worries. I’ve actually learned from you in the past 15 months how to share less!
I love the way you just being you has taught me so much. Please continue to do just that!
You have got me interested in VEDA now :D Despite my hate of being in photos or in front of a camera, I am going to commit myself to giving it a go anyway, simply to challenge myself as you seem to do all the time :)
Where can I find more information? Like… the rules? (besides the rule of having to do a viedeo everday of course =P)
This technology newbie is pumped for VEDA :)
VEDA was so fun that first year. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get the energy to do it again, but if I do I’m glad there’s a great group of people out there to vlog with.
Also I forget all the time to check what search terms lead people to my blog. Now I gotta go do that.
I find it funny and kind of awesome how you blog so much about your life, and feelings, but manage to do it still in a very private way. That’s not a criticism; I think it’s a talent, and a great one. I often shy away from blogging about more personal stuff, because I’m scared of other people reading it, or of people I blog about finding it. But I love the way you manage to do it.
And I love that robot’s comment. And it’s so true. I think we are all, to some degree or another, invested in one another’s wellbeing. K. I need to quote that.
I’ve met some really great people blogging, one I would even call one of my closest friends. what we do here is find people we can relate to, even if we are far away from each other. There a handful of blogs that, even if I don’t read them every day, I have to check in with every week. Yours recently being one of them! I love talking to all the ladies I’ve met through blogging, and hope I still have these friendships years down the road.
even though i don’t vlog, it makes my heart so happy to see how the internet brings people together and we’ve all sort of found our people. & the VEDA folks sound superb, obviously