Nicole said that to me when we were in Vegas. She was teasing, but I actually did say something smart. Now, though, it’s the phrase I think of whenever I do something stupid. And I do a lot of stupid things. They’re mostly on a small scale, where I’m the only one who has to pay for my idiocy, but embarrassing all the same.
I used to keep more of these things to myself, because I wanted people to think I was smart and put together, but now I get a special joy from sharing them. Like the time I got trapped under a dresser. The Valentine’s Day I spent on a bathroom floor. The years I buried myself in debt. The time I threw up in potted plant. The time I cried in front of my friends while wearing a giant floppy hat. The other time I threw up in a potted plant.
The slowly-dying perfectionist in me is like, “Oh, did I get caught being a human being?” How embarrassing!