If there’s one thing you should know about my Dad, it’s that he collected dead Christmas tree lights as a kid. If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I think that’s the most hilarious thing ever. Not just Christmas tree lights, but dead Christmas tree lights. Who does that?
I’ve always had something of a unique relationship with my Dad. My parents divorced when I was 5, so while I lived mostly with my mom, I spent every other weekend with my Dad. My Dad remarried soon after the divorce, but then when I was about 11, that marriage ended as well. That’s when Dad and Ash weekends began.
It’s hard to ever make up for not seeing your dad every day, but we did our best. Our weekends consisted quite simply of doing whatever we wanted. We ate bad food (tacos on Fridays, pizza on Saturdays), watched movies, and spent hours in our favorite used bookstore. My brother and sister were older, so they didn’t go to my Dad’s house like I did. It was my chance to play only child, my chance to spend time with my dad, and my chance to escape the normal life I lived in another town 40 minutes away.
Maybe if I’d been a kid who needed more parenting, then it wouldn’t have worked. But, my dad and I got to spend our weekends together just relaxing and hanging out. I don’t know if I realized then how lucky I was to have that time with my Dad, but I enjoyed it. Per the custody agreement, I only had to spend every other weekend with my dad until the age of 12, at which point I could decide for myself what I wanted to do. I kept going until I left for college at 18.
My relationship with my Dad has changed as I’ve changed. Though he loves business and numbers, and I love fiction and theology, we’re such similar people. The kind who write lists and have goals and can happily spend hours on end alone. The kind who are confused by people who don’t do what they say they’re going to do. The kind who work too much. We used to bond over our love for reading and now we talk politics. He makes fun of me for being so liberal and I don’t comment on how he grows more liberal by the year.
He held out for me doing something more practical. Getting a business degree, for instance. But when he realized I wouldn’t be happy doing that, he became the biggest cheerleader of my academic pursuits and my writing. He asks me all the time if I’m working on my fiction and tells me just how cool he thinks it is that I’m getting a Ph.D. No one else in my family has a love for school like we do.
My Dad is above all the most dependable person I know and maybe that sounds like a boring quality, but it’s really nice knowing that every time I step off a plane at SeaTac, he will be standing at the bottom of the escalator waiting for me.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s great. I have two Dads – my father and my step-dad. I call both Dad. I am close to both and have a special relationship with each one. I really don’t know what I’d do with out both of them – as they have both taught me such different things. I really enjoyed this post! Thanks for sharing!
I LOVE reading stories about people’s Dads – it’s always so interesting to see how the parent-child dynamic changes as we grow up, too. I am so close to my Dad and he’s definitely the most dependable person I know too :) Here’s to great Dads!
I love that you have someone to cheer you on in all of your life achievements–everyone needs someone like that! Your relationship with your dad sounds awesome. :)
My parents and I have a good relationship, but it’s odd sometimes. They are both very young–Mom is 41 and Dad is 40–so they’ve grown up as I’ve grown up, since they were twenty and nineteen when I was born. We often clash because I often think they aren’t proud of my accomplishments … And they’re always bugging me about having a baby. (Um, I’m ONLY twenty-one. I have PLENTY of time … and I want to get my degree first.) But I’m definitely a “Daddy’s Girl,” though we often have clashing opinions.
I think its so great that you have such a wonderful relationship with your dad. Sometimes after a divorce when you’re only seeing one parent every few weeks, its hard to have that. I’m glad that you’ve been able to build and continue that relationship.
I really liked this post!
I spent way more time with my Dad then my mom when I was a kid, he took me skiing on the weekends and to all my hockey tournaments and games. Now that I’m older I’m really thankful for that time together!
Wow. Your relationship with your dad sounds a lot (a LOT) like mine. He’s one of my best friends. My parents got divorced when I was 11, and as he worked hard to overcome his alcoholism (something that stopped us from ever being close when I was a child) we got a lot closer. I lived with my mom, too, and got to see my dad every weekend. Before I move to MS a few months ago I was at his house at least one night a week, usually more, for dinner and baseball.
He’s still the one that picks me up and drops me off at the airport, no matter where I’m headed or where I’m coming from. He IS my rock. He’s my dependable everything. He’s my Superman.
Awww this is a sweet post. My dad too will always meet me at the bottom of the escalator when I fly home, no matter how much I say that he can just pick me up at the curb!
This post gave me misty eyes. Makes me think of my relationship with my dad: books, escalators, school and all.
I just want to give you and your dad a hug right now.
I wish I had some form of relationship with either of my parents. I’m more of a loner and been that way going up.
This was a nice piece. I suppose I’m lucky in that my parents are still together, but it’s good that your family didn’t let divorce stop you from having a strong relationship with your dad.
This is totally making me cry. The last line, especially! Glad that you were able to spend time with him like that growing up; how special and fun it must have been :)
I don’t think I know anyone who collects dead Christmas tree lights, but I’d be happy to send some your way to give to your dad this season if you like!
How great that you have such a solid, trusting relationship with your dad! My parents divorced earlier this year and my father hasn’t spoken to me for more than two years, so it’s nice to read a good dad story.
Parent-child relationships of all kinds still have the ability to create perfectly normal people, but it’s the close-knit relationships that teach people how to bond. You’re fortunate that your Dad is one of those people. Mini-applause from over here (I’m in an office… I can’t clap too loudly).
I am close to my dad as well. When my parents divorced, my dad got full custody. He basically raised us on his own. For that reason, among others, he has always been someone I can trust and lean on if need be. Not so much with my mom. I also admire my dad for everything that he went through when raising us because I know it wasn’t easy. Your post makes me want to just hop in the car, drive home and see him. I’m absolutely a daddy’s girl.
My dad and I are also alarmingly alike in some ways, and it makes us butt heads sometimes. I wouldn’t have it any other way, and I love reading about other amazing dads!
Not gonna lie, I read this and thought, “Wish my dad was like that!” But in all truth, our parents, however they are, shape us to who we are. Your dad sounds awesome, and it sounds like you guys share so many of the same personality traits! :)
This was a beautiful post. There were definitely tears welling up in my eyes by the end. :) Your dad sounds like a great person and an even more awesome father.
You’re very lucky to have such a great relationship with your dad. I’m happy for you, and especially happy that you recognize and appreciate him.