I will agree that I have some perfectionistic tendencies, but I have always insisted that I am not a perfectionist. I think of perfectionists as the kind of people who have to work on something until it is just right; they will spend way more time than what is required on an assignment and may even have to turn it in late, because it still isn’t perfect. I spend the minimum time required to produce something of decent quality and then I’m on to the next thing. I have no passion for minute detail or even that thing writers are always talking about–I think it’s called rewriting.
I’m almost never happy with what I produce until I have a great deal of distance from it, but because I’m not a perfectionist and I look for excitement in strange places, I prefer to just get my words down on paper (or whatever the case may be) and throw them out into the world. The excitement is in the response, because as far as I can guess, it’s going to be somewhere on the scale between extreme failure and extreme success. I have delusions of both.
I am a different kind of perfectionist. It seems to me a lesser kind Maybe I put the other kind of perfectionists on a pedestal. As much as they drive me crazy–because efficiency is in my DNA and I have almost no patience for people without it–I admire their motivations. They seem pure to me: about the craft instead of about the results, about things being right in their own world instead about how that world will respond to them. But, I think pure is an inaccurate way to describe motivation, because it never consists of one drive and it is never selfless or ego free. Purity is a silly and troubling standard that holds little value for me.
My kind of perfectionism is more big picture. It’s not about the craft and it’s not driven by a compulsive need for things to be right, whatever that means. It’s about being the best I can be, as slogan-y as that sounds. It has me always striving.
In earlier years, it had me aiming for perfection as defined by all kinds of unattainable standards, so that I always carried the weight of failure. I had lists and lists that all said things like, 4.0, 115 lbs., Harvard. You get the idea. I reached a breaking point somewhere near the end of college. I was unhappy and I finally realized that perfection wasn’t going to bring me the happiness I wanted. There must have been a day I realized that running 5 miles every morning was not going to make me like myself if I didn’t already.
I’m in a much better place now, even if my perfectionism still manifests itself in destructive ways sometimes. I’m more in tune with that built in measure that tells you when you’re going too far. I’ve learned from my experiences and when I’m not happy, I ask myself if achieving that arbitrary goal is really going to make the difference. I still take it personally when I get anything less than an A, but I’m much faster getting over it. It’s a delicate balance, because I have ambitions of world domination, but none of it has any meaning to me if I’m miserable.
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I like this post! I’m a bit of a perfectionist, but a bit of a lazy one – so I want people to really value what I do, yet I have no energy in re-editing things once I’m done. I take that way too personally, lol. Weird hey?
As a first generation Asian, my parents forced perfectionism. When I went to college, I let my grades slip. In return, I allowed myself to grow as a person and live life. Do I regret it? (Well, minus that one semester with a 2.3) No.
Now don’t mistaken me for someone wild or anything, but I choose to have friends and hang out with them. I decided to be slightly mischievous instead of being a goody-two shoes. More importantly, I decided to break out of my skin.
Hello. I’m Pham. Care for an adventure?
Sometimes we are so similar in personality traits that it makes my mind hurt. I’m a “lazy” perfectionist and very efficient too. I read on someone else’s blog the perfect description: “An A type personality disguised as a B-type mindset.” This makes me surprise some people because they think I’m laid-back, but I’m actually quite the opposite. Good to know there are others like me out there!
I am definitely a perfectionist in some things. I’m always looking to improve one thing or the other about myself and it gets tiring. I literally marvel at those people who can be all, “Yep, I’m pretty awesome!” and never feel the need to strive. It sounds amazing.
And thanks to Herding Cats for the awesome tagline…yep yep yep.
“I prefer to just get my words down on paper (or whatever the case may be) and throw them out into the world.” <– This describes me…um…perfectly.
I'm not a perfection by any means of the word. I think I just know it's an unattainable standard so I never even attempt it…and maybe I go too far and try to be the least perfectionist person I can be. But I can identify with you a lot in this post.
You sound so much happier now, which is wonderful. I don’t think I’ve ever been much of a perfectionist, but I do have some tendencies.
Since doing the grad school + work thing, I’ve learned to be okay with a B instead of an A. Do I like it? No, but I’m okay with it. Between working 40+ hours a week, attempting to maintain a social life, a personal life, exericsing and etc, i make myself okay with these things. I still hate it when I mess up royally or perform less than my best, but maybe it’s something that comes with age, the learning to be okay with the less than perfect nature of ourselves all the time?
Agreed with K, you do sound so much happier now. I think I’m a BIT of a perfectionist – when it comes to writing or design I refuse to let it go public until it’s perfect. I always feel the need to improve myself which I don’t think is a bad thing, but at the same time I do have a tendency to beat myself up too much.