Some Other Air to Breathe

Today is the first day of July and the first day of the Creativity Challenge.  I challenged other bloggers and myself to be creative this month, whatever that might mean for us each as individuals, and now it’s time to make that happen.  The second half of the challenge is that you have to blog about it, you have to share your process.

So, here’s where I am right now: frustrated.  I feel pulled in so many different directions that I’m having a hard time focusing.  I’m realizing just how accustomed I’ve become to running around all the time instead of concentrating on anything.  It’s probably time to admit to myself that this whole internet thing has had an effect on my life. It’s almost entirely positive, except I notice now that I’m anxious if I’m not trying to do at least four things at once and I don’t have the patience to even just sit and read or write anymore.

I think some of it is nostalgia for that time in my life when I had almost endless hours to sit on my bed and read.  Now I’m an adult and I have to be at work all day, every day.  On top of which, life has simply changed since that time.  I didn’t have the opportunity then to talk to people all over the world whenever I wanted.  I’ve gone back and forth in my head about whether this difference  is necessarily bad or really just me changing and the world changing, compounded by the pressing responsibilities of being an adult.

My conclusion is that it’s all of those things, but no matter, I can still recapture some of what I had before instead of simply mourning its loss.  I picked up the collected journals of Joyce Carol Oates again yesterday.  I read through it last Summer and it inspired me then.  It’s pretty clear that JCO spends most of her time sitting and reading or writing.  Ever since I studied the student movement of the 1960s when I was an undergrad, I’ve romanticized life as a student and as a professor in the sixties, seventies, and even eighties.  Study without all the distractions and conveniences and stuff.  I remember a professor of mine saying she arrived at college with just a suitcase and a typewriter.   I’m not trading in my laptop or iPhone anytime soon, but reading JCO reminds me of how much I want to write through my life and how important it is that I let myself have that time, instead of filling every moment with noise and distractions.

The creative challenge I’m taking on for the month of July is to finish the first part, the first four chapters, of the novel I’m working on.  I actually already have the first chapter and half of the second written, but they need to be rewritten, because the main character has changed too much.  I’m a horrible rewriter.  I edit heavily as I write, but once things are down on paper and I’ve walked away, I have a hard time making significant changes.  I think I’ll just have to start from scratch and pull in whatever elements I like and remember from the original.

This novel is still lacking a bit in story, but I really like the characters and they feel fully-formed in my mind.  I think the hardest part about novels is that you need so much for people to do.  Large story arcs are easy, but what do people do and talk about every day in the meantime?  The first novel ended up with this feeling of everything but the kitchen sink for me, and this one seems simpler even though I’m trying to write with four narrators.  I guess it just doesn’t have as much baggage as the first. That’s a relief.

I’m adding to this challenge a commitment to prioritize sitting still and writing while I listen to music or reading while I sit in bed.  I really desire that kind of peace and I think my writing needs that as much as I do.

If you’re interested in participating in the Creativity Challenge, it’s not too late.  Check this post out for more information.  Your challenge does not have to resemble mine at all–you set your own challenge and parameters.  Check this page for a list of the people participating.