The same Summer I started this blog, I also wrote a novel. There are elements to the novel that date as far back as ten years ago when I was only 16. I was 18 when I created the main character. I was 21 when the basic premise for the novel came about. I was 23 when I started the novel. I was 24 when I finished. I’m 26 now and I want you to read it.
This is a really big deal to me. I’ve been writing fiction for just about ever, but only in the last five years or so have I started taking it seriously. I want to be a novelist. But, I have kept most of my writing hidden away. To me, it’s personal and hard to share with others. But, sharing is really the thing I want to do most.
I have serious insecurities about writing fiction, because it is hard. It is really, really hard. And, novels are long. They are really, really long. It’s true what Ira Glass says that there will be a long time when your taste far outshines your ability, which makes it hard to be confident in your writing. But, it’s also true what all writers say that the only way to become a better writer is to write, which means you have to allow yourself to suck.
I would really like to write this with confidence. I would really like to think of myself as an artist. Maybe I’m getting there, but it’s pretty obvious that I need a push. I need to stop waiting for perfection if I’m going to make this dream happen. I need to allow myself to suck and I need to throw my words and stories out into the world, even if it’s incredibly embarrassing sometimes.
I’m trying not to get too disclaimery, but the truth is that I have zero perspective on this novel. I’ve been rereading it because I’ve barely looked at it over the last year, and if I’m being honest, I cringe all the way through. Sometimes it feels very immature, sometimes strangely dark, and sometimes just bad. The thing that strikes me most about it is just how unironic it is. It’s completely earnest, which means that it often fails, but at least it tries to do something.
I originally thought of asking a few of you to read my novel and give me notes, so that I could further revise it, but I’ve decided against that. This novel has been too long in the making. It is for me an uncomfortable mix of ten years worth of experiences and it’s time for me to let it go. This story means a lot to me, but it’s not an open book anymore. I’m working on a new novel and that’s where I want to put my attention.
I am incredibly nervous and incredibly excited to have you read my novel, especially given how much I’ve talked about it in the last two years. You all have been really supportive of my writing and it’s given me the confidence at least to share what I’ve kept to myself for all these years.
Please read my novel. Novels are long so that alone is more than enough. You can let me know what you think of it or not. You can even just let it sit on your desktop unread. Don’t feel guilty, because I’ll never know the difference. Maybe just try to get through the first chapter, though, so you can say something that makes me think you read it.
The novel is called Careful Where You Stand. It’s titled after this song, but this song is more important to the story and to me. It’s about 90,000 words. You can read more about it here.
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Ashley! Good for you for doing this! Seriously, I would NOT have the guts to put my own writing out there!
That being said, I would *love* to read it! I need more summer reading and have always enjoyed your writings here and would love to read more!
It might take me a while, but I’d love to read your novel. Well done on putting it out there; that’s really brave. I’m guessing it’s better than you think too, and I’m very interested to find out more.
I want to read it! I’m interested as to how all that schooling has influenced your style.
Major kudos to you for being brave enough to put this out there! I am sure its terrifying but exciting at the same time. As someone who has read your blog and followed you on twitter for quite a while now, after hearing you talk about your writing, I can say that I most definitely would love to read your novel!
I would love to read it. I love your writing!
SEND NOW.
Go you!!!! It is really hard to put it out there like that and I commend you on it. I would love to read it!
Congratulations for putting yourself and your work out there! It’s a huge step, and one that I think will be worthwhile. You are absolutely right that writing is about letting yourself suck so that you can improve. You have the right attitude, the perfect spirit, the needed determination and the necessary skill. Good luck with the second one!
When you get a chance, I’d love to browse your work. I can’t promise I’ll read it anytime soon, but I would love to read it nonetheless.
Please, please, please! I would love to read your novel!
A few things: 1) I think it’s amazing that you have put yourself and your novel out there for others to read. I think it says a lot about how brave you are, and I have no doubt that you will find nothing but support from all of your blogging buddies! 2) The fact that you’ve even finished a novel is a huge accomplishment already. It makes me want to put more attention towards the things I love/want to do! And 3) would love to read it! SEND.
That’s awesome! Lisa told me she read it and I would love to as well! I guess I should also confess that she told me about your blog and since then I’ve been stalking you…in a good way, of course! You’ve inspired me to blog more and hopefully soon, start my own novel. Reading about your process makes me admit it will be a long journey but a labor of love that it will be worth once I just start!
The fact that you were able to write 90,000 coherent, interconnected words is cause alone for a massive celebration. But I would love to read it- pass it along and I can cite specific examples from the story to display what an amazing writer you are.
Count me in! I’d love to read it; just don’t hate me if it takes me a little while to get to it thanks to grad school + work? =) You’re awesome, in case you didn’t already know it!
Very proud of you for finally having that draft ready to send out. It takes a huge leap of faith to get to this point, so major kudos hun. And hopefully it’s only a short time before the next milestone in this novel’s process.
That said, I’m terrified to read it. Sounds bizarre, right? I always fear that I’ll be too critical or too stuck in my own mindset of how I would’ve done when reading someone’s draft. I’ve always been this way, even with silly essays about science class topics. When it’s published – and I’m sure it will be – I’ll most definitely buy a copy, even hard cover! But I don’t know if I have the guts to read it with my “I went to school for English” goggles…
P.S. I’m a sucky friend. I’m sorry.
I’d love to read it.
I had a feeling this is what your blog surprise would be! Please send — I just finished a book and was wondering what to read next!
I would LOVE to read your novel. I think you are an amazing writer!! I think those goes to your email, so consider this my email request. I can’t wait.
I would love to read your novel! I’ve wanted to read more ever since you shared that small bit in one of your posts. I really enjoyed that excerpt. So please, send away!
Congrats on this major achievement! I can’t imagine how hard it is to send your novel out into the world for us to read. I can’t say that I’d be able to do it.
Good for you for sharing your writing – I’m not sure I’d be that brave. I’m primarily a lurker, but I always enjoy your writing here and I’d love the read the novel.
This is incredibly brave and I know first hand h ow intimidating it can be sharing your own fiction work!! I am very inspired by you and your dedication to this novel – and I would love to read it :)
LET’S DO THIS.
<3 <3 <3
Bring it. :)
I’d love to give it a read! I, too, have written a novel that I haven’t showed to anyone. Perhaps I’ll follow your lead and release it into the wild.
I’d love to read it. Seriously girl, send it my way!
*delurks*
I’d love to read your novel. I’m an avid reader of a number of genres, so I’d be glad to provide feedback.
I found you on 12minds. Hi.
I’m jealous that you wrote a novel. Even if it’s not 100% what you want, because when is anything we’ve created 100% what we wanted? It’s the 50%, the 86%, the 99% that makes us keep working, even if it’s discouraging and embarrassing. That’s what I tell myself anyway.
I’m jealous because (and I was just talking to someone about this yesterday) I don’t have the capabilities to write a novel. I just don’t. I don’t have the staying power. I love writing–it’s who I am–but I can never stick with anything long enough. It’s frustrating. So I write poems and short stories and inane (which I secretly don’t find inane) blog posts instead, hoping someday to think of myself as A WRITER (cue fireworks and symphonies).
So good for you. Keep writing. And keep being critical of it.
I won’t ask to read it because you don’t really know me and asking would feel weird.
In fact, this whole comment feels weird.
I would love to read your novel. Would you mind if I passed it on to a friend, as well?
This is so awesome. I’d love to read your novel! (Maybe I’ll even read some by Saturday night and can give you some tipsy comments, haha)
I love that you are brave enough to just open it up to all of us! How exciting. I would love to read it.
I wanna read it! :-)
May I have a copy? :)
Congratulations! I would love to read it :)
Hi, I’m new to your blog. Just spent some time going through past posts and subscribing. I’d really like to read your novel. :)
I want to read it!
I love how brave you are being by putting this out there. And I would absolutely LOVE to read your novel! I’ve always loved reading, and there is nothing more fun than reading something a friend has written. (:
I want to read it! I may not get to it right away, but I definitely would love to read it.
I too would love to read your work!