It’s not that I’m lonely, really. Because I don’t think I’d have a hard time saying so if I was. I just want something more. Like, I’ve become too isolated. Or maybe I always have been.
I don’t know what it is I want. I guess I want to be surprised instead of bored. Something instead of nothing.
I can’t say that something’s missing, because the way I feel, knowing myself like I do, something will always be missing for me. I’ll always be a little restless.
The stuff I do pushes me to my limits and fills me with anxiety, but I can do it all and I know that. I’d like something that leaves me less assured of success. A little more out of my control.
And okay, maybe I saw Adorable Boy last week and maybe it messed with my head a bit. I wish I could speak less vaguely of all of this, but I don’t know how.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for sharing, Ashley. If it helps I know the feeling. Not really loneliness, but just kind of like something is…not quite right, or not quite there.
I know this feeling too. This post kind of reminds me of the lyrics of ‘Something’s Missing’ by John Mayer. Not sure why – but that’s a compliment to you, because I love the Mayer, despite his man-whore status. Hugs. :)
I totally relate to feeling like you want more yet feeling a little terrified about stepping out of your comfort zone. I think you should pick something random and just do it. Something you’ve never done before, big or small. Go for a three hour walk or visit a small town or sing at the top of your lungs, a new sport – something brand new. If nothing else it’ll spice up the routine and I bet you’ll feel a tonne more energised :)
Know where things might be right? Philadelphia.
Know what else might help? A concert.
In all seriousness, I totally get it. Maybe you need a little spark, maybe you need a little excitement, maybe you just need a nice firm argument with someone where you stand your ground, and they stand theirs and in the end you go out for pizza.
I want to recite David Gray lyrics to you right now…but I don’t know which.
I agree with Emily Jane, that is a really good idea. I just might take that advice myself!
You know Ashley, I felt like I could’ve wrote this post because that’s how I felt the last couple weeks. Thanks for writing it because I couldn’t have written it as well as you
Setting aside time each week to do something out of your comfort zone is a great idea. It will give you a chance to be surprised by things and have new experiences. I feel pretty stagnant in my life at the moment, so I may try this, too.
That damn Adorable Boy…
Hopefully, there’s something you can do or find that will allow you to break on through, because I’m sure once you make that initial move then things will get better, you just need to find that point. So putting yourself out there (no easy thing to do, I know and def. understand) and just throwing yourself at a lot of things, I think those things will help. But, no matter what, hopefully things get better and you feel less bored/non-surprised/whatever you’re feeling
I can definitely understand where you’re coming from because I feel the same way, and have been feeling it more and more this past month. It’s an odd mixture of sadness but not quite sadness. I feel like I’m floating along lately, letting things pass me by. It takes some stepping out of our comfort zones and taking on challenges we maybe didn’t even know we wanted to do to slip somewhat out of this funk.
When I get that feeling, I get in the car and drive. Sometimes I end up someplace familiar like my aunts house and find myself drinking wine on the back porch. Sometimes I end up driving for a few hours and find myself on the edge of a cliff overlooking a waterfall. Sometimes you just have to take yourself out of your routine for a little bit.
I understand your reservations, but I think everyone here has your back whenever you feel you can be less vague about things. You obviously have a lot going for you, so there’s no reason why you can’t have whatever kind of experience you’re looking for.
Hey if it helps, this is an awesome blog(s). Lots of great resources – Creative Screenwriting pod! — and books named after NSync songs, amazing. Keep writing!
oh also, what happened to twentysomethingwriters.com?
Yes. This.
What is this? Why aren’t there words for it? Usually there are words for everything, right?
Confound it.
Keep us posted on if you get any answers. We (okay, I) could use the advice.
I feel you.. Hold tight and keep your head up. The first step is getting the feelings out there. Baby steps.
Best,
Hannah Katy
I know the feeling… That something’s missing feeling. I know because it’s exhausting, desperately trying to fill the void. I think I know what the void is, but I’m scared that once I fill that, there will just be something else missing… Who knows? I wish us both luck. ^_^
ugh. I hate that “funk” feeling. Currently in it. Let me know if you find something to get yourself out ;)
What if you “borrowed” someone’s blog for the day to write about adorable boy and etc? Maybe that would help?
It’s hard as we grow up to not feel isolated within our daily routine, our friends and family and etc. I think you know that I know how this feeling can be based upon my blog earlier this week :)