When Mandy declared last Summer as her own, I thought it was a wonderful idea. I never thought of joining her, though, because my life already revolves almost exclusively around me. I don’t need to carve anymore time for myself. I should really do the opposite instead.
But, I was thinking too narrowly. That’s what Mandy needed from her Summer.1 I need something else.
I always want the Summer to be magical and it always disappoints. I know it’s my own fault, but I never know what to do about it aside from becoming a totally different person. The kind that gets swept away.
Much as I haven’t minded and have even enjoyed my ridiculous schedule this year, looking at my Summer and seeing too many hours of work crammed into every day, I realized that I want this Summer to be about more than just work. I’m not cutting back my hours–I need that money to meet my goal of getting out of debt this year–but I am dedicating myself to spending my Summer doing Summer things. Things like enjoy the fact that I live in an awesome place where the sun shines every day. Things like go to the beach more than once every four years. Things like sit in parks and write. Things like read books.
I will probably break down at some point and write a list of goals. I enjoy plans too much to stop myself. But, I don’t want the Summer of Me to be about accomplishing goals. I think it’s enough that I’m currently digging myself out of $20,000 of debt and working on losing 20 lbs. And relearning German, because I need to pass a language exam in the Fall. I’d like to really dig into the new novel, but I don’t want the burden and guilt of a goal that big. I want to feel free.
I want to spend my Summer doing the things I want to be doing. That will still take some self-discipline, because watching TV is easy and venturing out into the world is more difficult. In my non-Summer life right now, I don’t have time to do any of these things. Sometimes I fantasize about what it would be like to go to the movies on a Sunday instead of going to work. Things like that.
In some ways, this feels like my last real Summer. I’ll be done with coursework after next year and then it will be straight on to exams and the dissertation with no real break. Last Summer I was nearly sick with anxiety about how everything was going to play out with starting my PhD (and paying for it). This Summer, I know where I’m going.
So, I don’t know how this is going to work, but I know how I want it to feel. The minute it becomes burdensome, I will know I’ve gone off track. This Summer is about having fun.
- There was more to it than that for her. I was also interpreting her too narrowly. [↩]
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
It sounds like you have some fun planned. Or, you know, not planned. But either way I hope it works out for you. I know what you mean about the easy things getting in the way of the hard things. But I’m getting better at that, so I’m sure you can too. Tschüss!
I want a summer of me, but this one is shaping up to be busier than I’d hoped. We need to remember to carve out time for ourselves.
I’m having a “summer of me” as well. Especially since E. will not be here. I plan on reading, exercising, and just loving every moment of it.
My goal for the summer is to have all of the fun but none of the calories.
So, basically… invent magic.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
One thing I miss the most about being young is the freedom from school & etc each May and having a REAL summer, you know! The kind that lasts forever and just totally rocks. I want that back. Like you, I have a lot I need to do this summer but I also want to feel like it’s fun at the same time. Maybe I need to pressure myself and live more. I just wish I knew how to do that, and like LiLu, how to not make the calories count :)
The great thing about being a teacher – you can still look forward to summer vacation! I hope you have a fantastic summer! :)
I love this idea! I want to make more out of my summer as well, even if I am working 30 hours a week and taking 3 classes. But I still want to do more, especially since I live in an area where tons of people vacation every summer.
Fabulous!
Good for you Ashley. You deserve it.
This was sort of how I felt about last summer when I got back from Rome…my hours at work were less and I had more time for fun. It was truly amazing and I hope you have a similar experience!
Great idea! I should do the same thing although I do want to make sure we can balance it out with getting out of debt too. No beach here and I’m sad about that!
You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to leave a comment. I keep getting sidetracked and interrupted!
ANYWAY.
I hope you have a great Summer. :) And I look forward to reading about it here.
I love the idea of spending summer for YOU and doing what you want to be doing. It’s going to be a great one, and it sounds like you’ve got a LOT of things you want to do. (:
I love the idea of taking a summer to work on myself–to be happy and freer. I’m glad you’re getting the summer you need!
I am so glad that you’re going to declare a summer of you. While for me it has been about figuring out what it is I really want, I love reading about what others come with up for their summers. I have no doubts that you will come up with the perfect plan and find a way to make at least moments of this summer magical.