I have an aversion to things that are made to be inspiring. What I mean is that I’m inspired by all kinds of things, but if you start a movie with the description “The inspiring story of . . . ” the chances of me watching it drop dramatically. I guess I just don’t like being played like that. I’d rather be surprised by inspiration.
It follows naturally from my aversion to the inspiring stories of others that I am incapable of being inspiring on purpose. I just can’t do it. And, I’m not interested in doing it. I’m not at all saying that I don’t hope to be inspiring to other people or that my ego doesn’t soar a bit when someone tells me I have inspired them. I just mean that I am more interested in working things out for myself. If I ever inspire anyone, it’s by example and not because I’ve discovered the path to awesomeness and shared it with everyone.
I can’t deny that my motivations are largely selfish. I think almost constantly about all the things for which I am striving. But, it’s not that I don’t care about other people. I care deeply about other people. I just trust that they’ll find their own way. We’re all in the same place of trying to figure things out, so why would I think I know more than they do? I prefer to just share my journey rather than act like I’m further along than anyone else.
Here’s where it gets sticky. I think my aversion to being intentionally inspiring is attached to my aversion to teaching. That would be all well and good. We don’t all have to be teachers. Except, that’s exactly what I’m training to be! I’m getting this fancy education so that I can be a professor and unlike some of my fellow students, I am more interested in teaching than independent research. Though this sounds contradictory, it doesn’t feel that way to me.
This is all connected to what I said yesterday about writing from a personal perspective. I don’t like to write or speak as if I’ve got it all figured out. But, the truth is that I do have some things more figured out than other people. I know things. And I am interested in sharing those things, because I love to debate and I love to work things out for myself by explaining them to other people. But, I cannot authentically do that from the position of an expert. I can only do it as a person on the journey.
The strange thing about this for me is that even though I have always been interested to some degree in being a teacher and this career path when I finally decided on it felt so right to me for that reason, I have never thought of myself as a teacher. Even when other people told me I would be a good teacher (usually when I was helping them with their writing) it never felt like part of my identity. But, maybe I just hadn’t worked out the kind of teacher I want to be, even though I have so many good examples right in front of me. I’m never going to be an expert with all the answers or a leader of many people. I’m going to be raising questions and arguing for a position, but always with the intention of pushing people toward figuring out what they think. I’d rather help people find their own way than convince them my way is the best.
Though it may not be obvious to anyone else, this is basically a description of the kind of writing I do here.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
You said it perfectly, it’s not about convincing other people that your way is the best, it’s about sharing and encouraging and helping them find what works best for them :)
As a former teacher, I never thought I would be a teacher either. I was thrown into the position without any choice, twice! I didn’t strive to inspire the kids or motivate them to work harder. I just did what I was asked to do, teach. I taught based on how I knew a teacher should teach, being a hard ass but fair. I gave my students no slack. I gave the special ed kids no special treatment. They were my students and I was the teacher. I taught what I wanted and needed to taught. They had a choice to follow along or fail. They hated me and pushed me to the limits. I didn’t care. But at the end of the semester, after I taught all that I wanted and the kids did all that they were asked to do, we both learned a lot. I learned that my best teachers were the one who weren’t my friends but the ones who kept on pushing me. The kids hated me for all the work, but thanked me for constantly pushing because they would have not worked as hard or done as well. At the end of the semester, we left the classroom one last time realizing that the harder we pushed each other, the more we’re willing to work harder and inspire one another.
And for that, thank you for pushing me Ashley. You inspire me.
I love the way you said this. I am a teacher (of high school theology) so I know exactly what you mean. And honestly I try to teach the way in which I learn best, by questioning and figuring it out. So just as I like to figure things out myself, I encourage my students to do the same, rarely telling them what to think or believe but just giving them enough information and “food for thought” to make their own decisions. I always appreciated when teachers or professors did that for me. I think there are so many types of teachers and that is so necessary because everyone learns differently! And by challenging and encouraging students to think you ARE being inspiring! Thank you for your perspective.
As a teacher, this post fascinates me because it made me think about what sort of teacher I want to be/am. I think that often, the most inspirational things come when we’re not trying to inspire; we’re just along for the ride. I love reading books with kids because they always come up with much cooler things than the “inspiring” questions I’ve generated. I think the sign of a truly great teacher is one who lets students fly on their own, instead of having them lean on a teacher to feel “inspired.”
I, too, share an aversion to “inspiration.” Also – anything described as “heart-warming.” Blech.
As far as teaching goes, you sound more like the Socratic method type, rather than the lecturer bestowing his/her knowledge from upon high. There are many types of good teachers, so don’t feel like there is *one* way to teach. Go with your strengths.
Good teachers push students to their own thoughts and beliefs, and they do not push those beliefs on others. Therefore, I think you would be an excellent teacher :)
You want to the exactly the kind of teacher I love. All my favorite professors were ones who pushed me to figure out what I think. I’m envious of your future students. :)
That’s because that kind of inspiration thrust upon us all in movies and posters and annoying speeches is CORNY and HORRIBLE.
My least favorite genre of movie has to be the inspiration sports film. I would rather watch or do anything else.
If you think about the inspiring characters, though, they weren’t trying to be inspiring, they were doing what they thought they needed to do. You’ll be fine. And if ever there is an inspirational movie about you, I probably still won’t watch it, but I’ll consider it.
I had a few completely in your face professors I adored, but it was the more subtle ones who presented their information, then let us draw the conclusions that I actually learned the most from.
Inspirational/motivational speakers drive me up a wall. They’re my least favorite part of attending any conference or convention.
I hate inspiring movies and things like that, too. People keep trying to get me to watch inspiring teacher movies and I hate them. it makes it seem like everyone is doing this and not just a special few. And I don’t think of myself as a regular teacher most of the time.