I’ve become quite convinced that “Hey Jude” was written for me. It’s just that Ashley doesn’t rhyme with a lot of things and I was -15 years old at the time of its release. I guess it’s easier to believe that James Taylor’s “Shower the People” was written for me; I was only seven years from being born when it was released. The message is the same: don’t miss out on awesome things by playing it cool. Let people in. Play the fool.
The Beatles sing it, “Hey Jude don’t be afraid/ You were made to go out and get her/ The minute you let her under your skin/ Then you begin to make it better/ And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain/ Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders/ For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool/ By making his world a little colder.”
And James Taylor sings it, “You can run but you cannot hide/ This is widely known/ And what you plan to do with your foolish pride/ When you’re all by yourself alone/ Once you tell somebody the way that you feel/ You can feel it beginning to ease/ I think it’s true what they say about the squeaky wheel/ Always getting the grease.”
I’m this fearful and sometimes petty person who’s scared to admit how much she wants things, because what if she doesn’t get them? Scared to care about anyone more than they care about me. Unwilling to ask for help even when the burden is too much for me alone. Hates to be wrong. More concerned with saving face than anything else.
The Summer before moving to California, I tried to convince myself that it was worth risking looking stupid or desperate if it meant getting what I want out of life. I reasoned, I already come off as weird for holding so much of myself back, so am I really saving myself from anything? And, am I not strong enough to recover from whatever embarrassment or pain I may experience as a result?
I’m still trying to convince myself. It’s part of living louder.
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Its all something we have to figure out in our own time. Always, always remember that you are strong enough to get through whatever it is you face. Putting your heart into everything is incredibly scary and sometimes the results aren’t the ones we wanted, but I truly believe that we are stronger for it.
Hey Jude is my favorite Beatles song (I think — hard to commit to just one!). Every time I listen to it I think of something different.
What are any of us holding back for? I think everyone is afraid in their own measure. Aren’t the Beatles wise?
I’m this fearful and sometimes petty person who’s scared to admit how much she wants things, because what if she doesn’t get them? Scared to care about anyone more than they care about me. Unwilling to ask for help even when the burden is too much for me alone. Hates to be wrong. More concerned with saving face than anything else.
I agree with this entirely
Sometimes you just have to throw yourself out here, and sometimes it sucks, but when it doesn’t, everything is brilliant.
You’re strong and smart and so capable–even if things seem daunting, they’re no match for you.
It’s so true that holding back and trying to save face isn’t saving ourselves from anything. This is a lesson I’m still not fully embracing, but I’m acknowledging it and working on it. We can do it, lady.
I’m convinced that the Beatles wrote “The Long & Winding Road” for and about me.
Jeebus, that’s depressing.
I don’t know you well, but I’ve read you for a bit and without pause, I can say YOU ROCK.
That is all.
Can I tell you a secret (um. here in a public comment thread…)?
I think I close people off for the same reasons but use a different vehicle: diversion.
Keep us posted on living louder. Some of us readers can use the advice.
Oh yes, I feel so guilty of this sometimes. And so envious of those that embrace life to its fullest. Or at least they appear to embrace life? haha…there’s my over-analytical side at play, the very thing that probably prevents me to just run with life.