Let me first say that I’m a pretty cheerful person. No one has ever described me as bubbly, but if you run into me at any point throughout the day, I will give you a smile and say hi and we can talk about something that doesn’t matter for a few minutes and laugh. 1
I’ve written before about how people often mistake me for being more serious than I am. But, beyond being misunderstood, I am often distracted, thinking about all the things I have to do or maybe just thinking about Justin Timberlake. On top of which, my job sometimes brings out the grump in me or at least plays on my impatience with people. I never snap at people, I’m never rude, but I am sometimes a little short and while people say that me being short is still a regular person being pretty nice, I don’t like the way that I feel when I’m grumpy, even though I get over it very quickly.
I went for a walk on Sunday morning and I just felt overwhelmingly cheerful and happy. I thought, “I should just be like this all the time.”2 But, then I went to work, and while I wouldn’t say it put me in a bad mood, I felt all my normal stress and irritation find me again. It’s strange how you can feel all of that bodily.
I can’t get the idea out of my head that life would just be easier and more fun if I took a more over-the-top cheerful attitude. I believe both in the principle of fake it ’til you make it and its close relative change your behavior and your attitude will follow. Plus, it’s just a fun little challenge. I’ve started by smiling more, laughing at things more, and taking big deep breaths. I do these things spontaneously when the thought comes to my mind, which probably make me look a little crazy (I’ve previously discussed my unconscious random smiling), but I think most people already think I’m a tiny bit weird so there’s no harm done.
What I’m not doing is only concentrating on the positive or pretending to be happy when I’m not. I am already happy. Now, I’m trying to make it a more constant experience instead of just that feeling I have when I’m finished with all the things that are stressing me out.
Project Cheerfulness has been launched. I will report back with my findings.
- There are some exceptions if you spent a great deal of continuous time with me. At a certain point, I won’t want to talk for a while and if you keep trying to talk to me, I may get a little grumpy. I will know the whole time how ridiculous I’m being, which will make me grumpier until I’m over it and I start talking to you like nothing happened. [↩]
- This reminds me Happy Gilmore when Happy realizes that putting is hard and he decides to just get a hole-in-one every time. [↩]
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Quite a few people have misjudged my facial expression before so I made a similar decision to you, to make sure I smiled more and to make my smile happier at times when I generally would anyway. It didn’t take long for it to feel natural and I’d like to think it’s changed people’s opinions of me too.
I’m too much of a realist to be cheerful all of the time, although I always have so much more fun when I am in an overly good mood.
Project Cheerfulness sounds like a very worthy undertaking, though I don’t know if such a life change/big project would be possible for me. But things are definitely better or easier when you take on that cheerful approach though getting to that point isn’t easy. Sometimes we forget how hard it can be to remain cheerful when you’re aware of the “other” things. That takes some strength and is not just ignoring the “non-cheerful” things, whatever they are. So I applaud you for your undertaking of Project Cheerfulness and wish you the best of luck!
I did this little experiment where I smiled the entire 7 minute commute to work in the morning every morning for a week. It felt dorky and a little forced, but the simple mechanical action of smiling really did help set my mental state for the morning, I think! I need to remember to do that more.
I’m kind of exactly like this. Which is funny and weird at the same time. I use the fake it til you make it principle when public speaking. I actually hate it (shhhh don’t tell anyone!) but people always say I do a great job. I pretend I’m not nervous just to get through it.
Haha. I think this is actually true. That you typically do have a better time, if you are genuinely cheerful. I don’t know about when you’re not though, when its fake. I mean, there are many a comedian that make everyone laugh, and then go home depressed. Eh?
Once, I read in a magazine, that exercise is easier when you smile throughout it. So I’ve tried it before and it really works. Maybe because I’m more focused on how ridiculous I must look and less on the pain my body is going through. But I totally believe that a good attitude and smiling more makes you feel happier.
I’m looking forward to reading more about your results. I love that you said you are not only concentrating on the positive or pretending to be happy. I think that’s important: we strive so much for happiness, sometimes at the risk of being fake.
Good luck!
Great post and I love the idea. I will try to insert smiling more into my daily life as well. Need a way to boost the mood especially during these winter months. Love the blog, adding it to my reader!
Best,
Hannah Katy
Don’t we all take a few moments each day to think about Timberlake? I surely do. =)
One thing to keep in mind is that while you’re remembering to stimulate the parts of the brain that do make you happy and cheerful, that you still have to recognize where you are and what you’re doing.
It’s tougher being a daydreamer than people think, and I’m saying that without any sarcasm since I am a daydreamer.
Looking forward to Project Cheerfulness and the ensuing statistics. This will include statistics, right?
This is a fantastic idea. I may start my own chapter of Project Cheerfulness, especially because lately I find myself frowning way too much.
I always find that things look brighter when I’m walking, I’m always in a brighter kind of mood mid-walk. Strangely enough, I hardly ever go for walks anymore. I am so lazy.
something i realised recently: happiness is a conscious decision you HAVE to make. you have to find the happy in everything – it’s not going to find you. much like your Project Cheerfulness, I have a Project Happiness going on – and it’s helping. Really, really helping.
So go you!
You know what this reminds me of? You know how (in the books and series) Sookie Stackhouse just randomly smiles, mostly when she’s nervous or something and how demented she looks? LOL TOTALLY had that image in my mind just now. :)
I’m excited to hear how this experiment pans out. :)
This is such a good idea. When I ran more I loved saying hi to people as I ran by, for some reason it made me feel good, and forget that I was running. It’s so true how it can change your mood.
I like the idea of not forcing it when you’re not feeling it. Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong. Hmm. ::chinscratch::