I’ve been thinking a lot about how to write about this week, because my life involves a lot of time for thinking and not a lot of time for writing. Week one of my crazy schedule was exhausting and at one point it had me defeated. But, I rallied.
There is something about starting new things that is exhausting in itself. I remember coming home from my first day of middle school and crashing immediately. I thought, “how do people do this?” But, then of course, every day after the first was much easier. I think the same will be true of this semester.
I tried really hard to stick to the plans I set out with, because I know how important it is to take care of myself and if I forget, my mom and everyone else is there to remind me. You see, this has been a problem for me before.
But by Wednesday, I was so tired and hungry and headache-ridden that when things finally quieted down at the library, I asked to go home for a few hours (thank goodness for sick time). The rain was so bad that I got positively soaked on my way home. My flats actually filled with water and I had to change my clothes when I finally made it in my door. Then I ate my body weight in pasta and slept for three hours. That’s when I turned a corner.
Now that I’m feeling better, I have to tell you that I’m really excited about my classes. They’re all really interesting to me and two of them are so small that I’m looking forward to participating. I’m trying harder this semester to be the engaged student I want to be instead of just the girl who knows exactly what it takes to get the grades.1
And, my new second job is going well. The more I get into it, the less I worry I’m going to suck at it and the more I think I’m going to do a good job. So far, it’s involved way more design and website work than I’ve ever done before. It’s frustrating trying to figure everything out and get a sense of the scope of the job, but I’ll get there. I’m trying to set up boundaries for myself where I only work on things while I’m physically in the office and don’t let it follow me into my other job or interfere with my limited time for studying.
I think people in my real life (with whom I don’t share nearly as many details of my goings on as I do with you) are starting to realize that I’m busy (because they see me everywhere they go) and it feels nice to have that understanding. I had a conversation with a coworker/classmate about how nice it is just to have people know you’re overwhelmed and to know they’re overwhelmed too.
Today is my only day off (I think working 6 days a week is going to be the hardest adjustment) and now that I’ve got fresh groceries, clean laundry, and a clean apartment, I am drinking beer, listening to the Beatles, and writing. For an anxious girl, I’m feeling surprisingly at peace.
- I don’t mean that to sound as bad as it does. [↩]
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Well it sounds like you handled that doozie of a schedule better then I ever could of! Good for you on that aspect of things and also good for you for listening to your body and taking sick time when you really needed it :)
I’m not NEARLY as busy as you are, but I can so relate to this blog post. Only my second week of classes and I’m already feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I’m having a feeling my Google Reader is going to be “Marked As Read” more than a few times this semester.
I’m impressed with all you’re doing, Ashley. I hope you’re able to take more breaks soon so you stay healthy and happy.
You are amazing. Just remember to take care of yourself as best as you can!
Hang in there, lady! You can do it! I admire how driven you are and how you try to stick to all of your commitments. You’re a rockstar in my book.
In the past few weeks I’ve had a similar revelation about school. I’m not as busy as you (I don’t work while I’m taking classes), but I am in a program where most people feel a lot of pressure make A’s. In the past I was a little crazy/stressed/neurotic about my grades, but now I’m trying to enjoy learning about the content and internalizing it instead of wondering if what I just learned will be on the next test. It’ll take me a while to change my thinking, but I feel like I’m on a better track.
Good for you for taking a well deserved break.
there’s nothing worse than puddle water in your flats.
i am the same – eating a good pasta, and then a long sleep can help me feel better.
glad you’re in a space where you seem to have found some calm, despite everything being completely frenetic in the rest of your life.
xx
Feel better – I’m pullin for ya!
I’m glad that the people around you understand – that, in itself, takes a good amount of burden off of your shoulders.
I’m also glad you’re finding your happy place. :)
I honestly don’t know how you do it Ashley! You just have so much on, I’m in awe that you’re keeping your head above water!
That sounds like a rough schedule, whichever way you look at it. I hope you’re able to carve out little self-care moments through this one day off craziness.
Yay for handling that crazy schedule! I hope you’re enjoying those little quiet moments you get.
I work six days a week, and it definitely took time to transition. But once I did, it became the norm and now, there’s no troubles with it. However, add schoolwork to that and classes, and I can’t even imagine how overwhelming that might be. Glad you made it through the week and hopefully they’ll just keep getting easier to handle.
I’m glad that you’ve found your footing. I am sure it will get easier as it goes on and you are going to completely run over this semester.
Yay! I’m so glad to hear you’re taking care of yourself and putting everything into perspective.
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