After taking it relatively easy for the last month, today I start a schedule so ridiculous that when I told my mom the details, she said “Oh, Ashley.” I’ve mostly avoided spelling out the details since. Let’s just say, it’s mostly 15 hour days and that’s only counting the hours when I have to be in a specific place.
Last semester, which I survived quite well, is starting to look like a pleasant memory, though it too pushed me near my limits. I like the idea of putting my head down and just working and working until I reach a goal, but I think that’s a largely fictional construct. More often, I found myself too busy to even think of what goal I was working toward. All I knew was that I had to be there then and here now. It was accomplishment enough to meet the minimum requirements of getting to work on time and turning my assignments in when they were due.
I expected that I would be more emotional without enough time to relax and be by myself, but I was surprised to generally be in good spirits and when not in good spirits, to feel not sad, but instead frustrated and lonely. I was frustrated to feel that I didn’t have enough time to put my full effort into anything, especially studying. Working in the library and walking by my classmates sitting at tables studying just made me pine for that kind of time.
The loneliness, now, that was surprising. I expected the opposite, because I’m the kind of person who loves to be alone and instead this schedule had me surrounded by people all the time. Instead, I had that experience I’m sure has been written of a million times before, of feeling alone while surrounded by people. I guess it was the constant running around and the feeling of always needing to be somewhere else. I think it was also my feeling that no one understood what I was going through, you know, because I didn’t tell them.
The experience made me even more grateful for blogging. I had a place to complain and complain I did. I also had a whole network of people to talk to even when I was running around like crazy or working.
Last week when I noticed this day approaching, I had the brilliant idea to write a survival guide. It took me about three minutes to conclude that it wasn’t such a brilliant idea and that I wasn’t the person to write it. But, I kept thinking about the idea and slowly it turned into something a bit different. The last thing I need in my life right now is another list of goals, but here are some things I can do to help keep myself sane and a person that other people want to be around.
- Eat three meals a day. This is something I struggle with more than any 26 year old I know. I’m not a fan of breakfast and I don’t leave myself any time to eat it. Then, because I haven’t had anything to get my body going, I’m not hungry at lunch (often I even feel kind of nauseous). Then dinner comes around and I won’t miss it for anything, but sometimes I have no time or no food or no energy to make good decisions. One thing that’s better about this semester is that I have time to eat lunch and dinner every day. This weekend, I bought some granola bars I can eat for breakfast and I’m determined to get the other meals in too, because I need that energy. My mom will be so proud; she asks me nearly every time we speak how I’m eating.
- Read before bed. You wouldn’t believe how little I read these days. I mean, I read for school all the time, but that’s often not enjoyable and I have to scan as much as I can or I’ll never get through the hundreds of required pages. But, I love to read and it calms me down. I think it will make my life feel a little richer in the midst of all the craziness too. Plus, every day at work I come across more books I’d like to read and I bring them home for a while where they sit on a shelf until I come to my senses and take them back to the library.
- Take care of my feet. Yeah, this one is oddly specific. I haven’t blogged much about it, since I have nothing to say that’s not a complaint, but I’ve been dealing with terrible pain in my feet since October. I’ve finally figured out that it’s plantar fasciitis and that stretching my feet every night and wearing decent shoes really helps. It’s something I have to stay on top of, though.
- Listen to new music. As I’ve mentioned before, I love music, but I listen to all the same stuff all the time and it’s stuff I’ve been listening to since, like, 2003. I even go as far as to download new stuff, but then I continue to reach for the familiar. I have quite a bit of time to listen to music at work and while I walking from one place to the next, so I’m going to try to explore the dark corners of my iPod.
- Get enough sleep. This is hard for me, because I get off at midnight and I’d have to go to sleep immediately if I really wanted to be rested for the next morning, but I’m not ready to go to sleep right when I get home and it’s the only free time I have and I have to shower and stuff. But, I’m not the kind of girl who can get by on no sleep for very long and I don’t want to spend my one day off catching up on a week’s worth of sleep. So, I’m going to cut down a bit on the TV watching and internet surfing at night, because it’s just a distraction.
- Keep blogging. As if anything could stop me! I need a place to vent my feelings, but more so I need all of you to keep me entertained and continue on being silly nice to me. It means a lot to me. If you don’t already follow me on twitter, I hope you’ll consider it. I’d love to talk to you. You can find me @writetoreach.
Related posts:
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks so much for this. I’m starting my crazy schedule today too and I needed all these reminders. Honestly, breakfast is what gets me going. I have to eat breakfast or my day is just all wrong. I completely agree about reading before bed no matter how tired or late it is. It just gets me in sleep mode! Good luck with your crazy schedule. We’re all here for you!
Best wishes with these goals! And I totally need to do the reading before bed thing, too.
It’s important when life gets chaotic to still make time for the things that make you happy, and the things you need! When my fiance started a new job teaching, he was taking over a French class on 2 days notice with no material left or prepared. He was working the school day, coaching the football team, and staying up into the night just to keep his head above water. After about a week he started getting sick, and I asked him how he’d been eating since the transition – he’d been skipping breakfast from getting up too late from being tired from staying up all night, and skipping lunch because he “didn’t have time”, and was making no time for anything at all that would bring any sense of calm to his life! I’m glad you made this list – it’s important not to devote 100% of your energy to things you HAVE to do, but take a few % just for yourself, too :) Good luck my dear!
I’m not naturally inclined to eat breakfast either (unlike my sister, who eats cereal the first thing she wakes up), so I had to force myself to start eating it too. After a while, you’ll be surprised by what a difference it makes and how much you NEED it everyday.
I know exactly what you mean about needing a survival guide. My schedule is crazy busy – and mainly because I make it so. But I have to make sure that I take the time to take care of myself. I recently just started reading up again and have a huge pile of books for my reading list. I hope I can get to it. And take care of your feet! I had plantar fasciitis and it was/is painful!!!
I have plantar fasciitis, but it only occurs when I run long distances or been running for a long time. One thing that I found very helpful for me is using a golf ball to massage my feet. I would put the ball in the freezer during the day, then after my run, I would put the ball on the ground and roll my feet over it. Not only am I massaging it, but the coldness from the ball would help numb any pain.
Good luck with your goals. Eating and sleeping are extremely important because you won’t physically be able to do anything if you get sick from lack of nutrition/sleep.
Channeling your mom: Oh, Ashley!!! You NEED to eat better. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER if you eat better. I really hope you put those granola bars to use girl, and maybe pick up some bananas and apples (or whatever kind of fruit you like) too so you can have a piece of fruit with it.
Please start eating breakfast, please please!
*stepping off soap box now*
Don’t wear yourself into the ground, dear!!! XO
That’s a very good list. You need to put yourself first sometimes. I learned that the hard way when I first started teaching full-time while also being a full-time grad student. I had no time for me….but I slowly found the time. It’s the only way I could have survived!
Laying out a “survival guide” or the things you want to do and the expectations you have will make a difficult situation more manageable. You’re definitely going about it the right way and I’m glad you’ve realized how important reading is for you; I know that sometimes I forget that because I get so swamped by school reading. Also, I’m notorious for not eating breakfast either but I’ve discovered I need to do or else I’ll shut down sometime around noon. It takes some getting used to, leaving yourself the time and remembering to eat breakfast, but if you do eat breakfast you’ll feel a lot better. I was skeptical before, but it’s definitely true.
Eating three meals a day and getting enough sleep seems like such basic self-care, but when I’m busy they’re what I struggle with the most. Music and reading are definitely good for a little time to escape from the day. I hope you’re able to keep up with these things to combat the schedule craziness. :)
I will be here to entertain you until you don’t blog anymore!
I have a huge problem with eating three meals a day, mostly because I can’t stop eating and I just snack all day long… like every day is one huge meal. It’s gross of me. But it’s so hard to change my eating habits. I am trying, though!
Good plan. I too spend way too much time on the internet and should be reading good books.
I don’t know if you’ve heard of http://www.pandora.com but it is an awesome way to find new music. You just put in a song or artist you like and it creates a radio station of songs that are similar. I’ve found some great new artists this way!
I’m so glad you’re trying to take better care of yourself! It’s so important in getting you to your goals. I think reading before bed and cutting out the TV will help you sleep better. Reading is soothing and lulls your mind to sleep. Then, you’ll wake up more rested and have time and an appetite to eat those granola bars (another great choice!).
Good luck! I’m looking you up on Twitter now! You can find me @niferann4.
Eating breakfast can make such a huge difference. I usually keep yogurt on hand, its quick and easy for a morning and as Amber said, bananas and apples are also easy things to have on hand to snack on throughout the day.
I think your new schedule sounds crazy insane, but if any one can tackle it, it will be you. Just make sure you take care of yourself! I think the reading before bed is a great idea.
Good luck with all of that. It sounds like you’re taking on a lot, but you seem to be pretty good at handling it. And if you ever need any suggestions for new music to listen to, that’s one thing I can actually help with.
I haven’t listened to much new music since 2004 or so. I just chalk that up to being old now and set in the particular styles I prefer. I’ve found a couple artists/groups I like since then, and that’s great, but I don’t come across much stuff I like like I used to. Here’s hoping you find good new music for you.
Hmmm, I think I know exactly where you’re coming from. Sometimes, life just seems to get in the way and we forget to take the otherwise oh-so-simple steps to improve ourselves and our lifestyle. Good luck on your quest for betterment :)
Truth: you inspire me to greater diligence. After all, I have far less to do than you do.
Reading before bed, the perfect ending to a more than stressful day! Good Luck with your crazy schedule.
I made it a goal to listen to new music at one point, but then I downloaded Flo-Rida and that was the end of that goal.
Whenever I eat breakfast, it actually does make a big difference in my day!
I would not be able to function without enough sleep, kind of like last night, where I had 5 hours. I’m the kinda girl that needs a full 7-8 hours to feel alive. I was kinda a zombie today.
I don’t know how you do it. SERIOUSLY. I would most likely feel drained with your kind of schedule!
I agree with Ashley right above my comment about eating breakfast. I’m never hungry in the mornings but I feel great after eating breakfast though.
I want to read more before going to bed too. I should try that this week instead of playing video games before bed. Damn stupid Super Mario Bros!