On Christmas, I made a grown man cry. My step dad isn’t big on presents and I know that. But, he is big on taking people out to coffee. I know that too. So, instead of getting him a present, I just wrote in a card that I was going to take him out to coffee. Apparently, that was the perfect gift, because it brought him to tears. I didn’t know I had it in me to illicit tears like that.
A few days later, we had our coffee date. I wouldn’t say I was disappointed that there were no more tears involved, but I would have appreciated maybe a single one rolling down.
At a certain point in our conversation, my step dad told me that he and my mom had been talking and it seemed to both of them that something had really changed with me lately. I asked, “What do you mean?” He said, “You seem softer somehow.” I asked, “You think I’ve changed since when?” He said, “Since you were here last Summer.”
My first thought was, they think I have a secret boyfriend. Because they always think I have a secret boyfriend.
I feel like I’ve changed over the last year, but I didn’t pinpoint it to the last few months. Now that I think about it, though, it makes perfect sense. I spent the Summer stressed so much over things on the horizon that I couldn’t yet do anything about. Now that I’m in the middle of it all, I feel much calmer.
When I am anxious, I tend to close myself off from other people. I like to deal with things on my own, even though I know I feel so much better when I talk about what’s going on with me.
The surprising think to me is that I think I’m so damn clever. I think that people don’t understand me, because I don’t let them. It turns out that I’m not nearly as hard to read as I let myself think.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I gave up thinking that I’m hard to read because those who truly cares about me, knows me the best
I think its great that you gave your stepdad such a heartfelt gift. What a nice thing to do and seemingly very special to him.
Totally understand that last paragraph. Everyone around me knows me way better than I want to give them credit for (except in some regards, of course).
It’s so sweet that he cried, and what a perfect gift to give him. Simple and sweet.
That’s definitely a perfect gift and it was a great one for you to give. I always try to think of “physical” gifts I can give but sometimes doing something like that can be so much better and so much more meaningful and I think that’s what you saw. He definitely appreciated that. Also, I definitely close myself off/get a little bit more harsh when things are stressful and overwhelming so I can understand why someone might have noticed that in you too.
I always thought I’m hard to read too, but I don’t really think I am. Although an ex once told me he’d learned more about me from reading my stuff online than from me in real life, so maybe it just depends on the person…
Wow, I’m such a sucker for the “perfect gift” and it completely sounds like you nailed it with the one for your step dad. I have to admit, it made me slightly tear up (OK, I had to run and get the box of Puffs Plus… and the bottle of midol…) when I read that. Sounds like it turned it to a pretty great coffee date :)
Same here…But no one had been able to read me up until this point…But family, thats a different story…The notice change…
I made my dad cry with a gift once too! (I got a tattoo of a gaelic phrase translating to “my father’s daughter” for father’s day) :)
I’m the same way – I tend to close off when I’m anxious or trying to deal with something too, but my friends and my boy both know me far too well and they can always read me immediately. I’m glad things are calmer for you now :)
What a touching gift :) I’ve missed reading your thoughts!
I also close myself off to people when I get anxious or stressed out and it leads to me being misunderstood. Even though people know something’s wrong they don’t know what so they can’t help. I’m trying to push myself to be more open about my life and what’s going on in it.
That was a great gift to give to your step-dad, very thoughtful. Most people think they are harder to read than they actually are. I think people are only hard to read if you don’t care enough to try to read them.
Sometimes we change and don’t even realize it. Then when it’s pointed out, it’s so easy to see. You can’t help but feel dense for not noticing yourself.
I made my step-dad cry before. I bought him a sign that said, “I smile because you’re my father. I laugh because it’s your own fault.”
Sounds like a really thoughtful and lovely gift that you presented your stepfather with. And I’ve noticed that some people who think they are hard to read, are in fact not. I learnt that about myself some years ago…always thought I was hard to read until I found out that I’m an open book and cannot lie to save my life! :P
New to your blog and definitely like what I see…keep up the great work! :)
hahaha…the secret boyfriend thing cracked me up, since my family is always thinking that about me as well :)
No, actually, it’s ok to be a girl and be single sometimes. Geez :P
That last part:
“When I am anxious, I tend to close myself off from other people. I like to deal with things on my own, even though I know I feel so much better when I talk about what’s going on with me.
“The surprising think to me is that I think I’m so damn clever. I think that people don’t understand me, because I don’t let them. It turns out that I’m not nearly as hard to read as I let myself think.”
That’s totally me, too. I always try to shut myself off from everyone when I’m going through something difficult. Yet, the minute someone gets me to start talking, it flows out and I feel a HUGE weight lifted. Bah. Why are girls so complicated?! :-P
Aw, that was a really nice gift to your step Dad. Making grown up men cry isn’t easy!
I’m not hard to read either and sometimes I think that’s a bad thing because that means I’m so obvious!?