Okay, so I have a secret. I am in debt. Like, a lot of it. Not just my student loans, but credit card debt. I have never told anyone. I only really admitted it to myself recently, which I know sounds strange, but I can be pretty good at deluding myself. Very recently, I decided to stop avoiding my debt and instead do something about it. My first instinct was to blog it out, but that seemed impossible, because it was way too embarrassing to admit to all of you and the few friends who know about my blog.
So, I started a new blog and decided to keep it a secret. I figured I would come clean eventually. Maybe after I had made some real progress. But, managing a third online identity (real me, blog me, and now debt me) was daunting. I quickly messed up and left a comment for a blog friend under the debt username, which sent me reeling, trying to decide whether I should shut the whole thing down or just come clean. My mom has always taught me to live honestly–if not because it’s right, then because it’s easier–and this is something I so want to blog about, so I decided to put it all out there.
It’s hard to tell people about my debt, because I have never messed up this terribly before. I usually deal with my problems on my own, telling people either never or once the problem is handled. Admitting to such a huge mistake when I am right in the middle of it is difficult for me and I hate to think of anyone thinking less of me. I guess I would rather be respected for being who I am, though, and not who I pretend to be.
I really never expected to start a personal finance blog. I am not business-minded in the least. But, I have so far found writing about my journey out of debt to be not unlike the writing I do on my personal blog. It’s as much about psychology as anything else. This is me writing, so it’s more about the kind of thinking that got me into debt and not 3 Ways To Make Your Money Work For You or 5 Secrets to Being Your Own Boss. I find that all as uninteresting as the many guides out there to using twitter or branding yourself. I’m not giving advice; I’m blogging my personal story.
I have experienced this huge shift in my mindset and I want to share that with people. Because I’ve used avoidance as my financial method of choice for so long, I didn’t even realize how big of a burden my debt was on my life. It’s been this huge thing hanging over my head, overwhelming and limiting me. The change in my mind happened when I realized that this isn’t too big of a problem for me to handle. If I keep working really hard and start making some sacrifices, I can be free of debt.
I hope that some of you can relate or will at least find this interesting. I could really use your support. I’m relieved, at least, not to be keeping this big part of my life hidden. If you’re interested in following the blog, you can find it at astoryofdebt.com (or click the picture below).
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
I think this is a great thing to do for yourself! I’m not in horrible debt, but I do have a credit card to pay off and a student loan (along with my monthly bills). It’s hard, but I think writing about it will definitely help you out.
Do you have a checking account? I find it so much easier NOT to carry cash. If I carry cash, I spend it without knowing where it goes. With my checking account (I have a debit card), I’m able to write everything down in my checkbook, so I know where my money goes.
I think this is a great idea Ashley! So many young Americans are struggling with debt, and even if someone else’s is smaller by comparison, it can still be frustrating and embarrassing. I think you will be helping a lot of people–including yourself–with your honesty. I look forward to reading.
Thank you for writing this. I always admire the honesty and truth to your posts, I will definitely be following along with your new blog. I have more credit card debt than I am comfortable with and I too, really dislike admitting it to people. Its so frustrating as well, to watch so much money go out the door to for credit card and loan payments every month. I have been working hard to tackle mine as well and slowly but surely chipping away at them. You have an agressive payoff schedule, I look forward to hearing more about your progress and implenting some new ideas and strategies for paying off my own debt.
My boyfriend is in some serious school and credit card debt as well. There are definitely options out there for you.
My husband and I recently started Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It has really motivated us. Not only can we get out of bad debt but we can also pay off our mortgage and save for the future. A friend of mine did Financial Peace University and she is about to pay off her 30-year mortgage after only five years. The key is to budget everything down to the penny, which is hard to get used to. But we just started last month, and I can already see an improvement. I’m so excited to see what can happen in the future if we stick with the program!
I’m in debt too. The credit card debt is manageable, but not easy to pay off, and the school loan debt makes me weep at night. Money makes me miserable and I avoid talking about it. Good for you for putting it all out there!
This is great, Ashley and I’m sure a lot of people can relate to it! I just added your new blog to my reader and I look forward to following along!
Have you tired mint.com?
This took courage. For some reason, we admit so many things but admitting debt is still taboo. My student loans are absurd but my commercial debt could definitely be much better.
Alright, I’m following you over there because I am in pretty deep as well.
And here’s another project: to find things to do in Los Angeles that do not cost money. I’ll give you a heads up if I find anything!
I’d say that admitting it publicly is definitely a good way to make sure you get yourself out of debt. Good luck!
Thankfully, I don’t have too many outgoings, so I’ve managed to avoid debt up to now, although I’m sure one day I’ll have to deal with it. As such, it’s difficult for me to know what to say, but just try not to let it dominate your thoughts all the time, or else it will quickly get you down. I wish you all the best.
I am in a ton of debt! I will definitely be following along; I’ve avoided it for SO LONG, and I’m in so deep. It’s terrible. Thank you for writing honestly about this.
I think this is a great idea Ashley! I, too, am in debt. I’ll be checking out your other blog. Hopefully we can help each other along :)
I’m definitely going to be following your blog because I am in debt, too. I have wanted to write about it but keep putting it off, unsure how much I should share. (Or if I should talk about it at all.)
The funny thing is, after watching my mother struggle with debt when I was younger, I promised myself I wouldn’t do the same thing. But life happens and at the time, those credit cards kept food on the table. So I can’t regret them…I can just regret not paying them back as quickly as I wanted to.
This is fantastic. You are awesome! I’m sure there will be times that you’ll want to scream and freak out– but you are doing the right thing. And you are SO right, it’s holding you back and it’s a burden. You’re going to feel fantastic when this is over!
good for you! i had debt where it was like $5,000. i thought it would take me forever to pay it off…it’s been a year and a half (the debt goes up and down) but i’m down to $500. i’m going to keep my holidya spending under control as well, bc i don’t want to get into another mess. a lot of people have been in your place. your one of many, and i think knowing that, and putting yourself out there, creates a support network.
i’m glad you came out of the debt-closet. it was hard for me to do it to, but i eventually came clean about my uber debt on my own blog if for no other reason than to have someone to talk to about it. in the end, i’ve discovered that getting out of the hole just takes a lot more willpower than i’ve put in before, but i’m trying. so not only do i think your new blog will be good for you to know that others are out there and can offer up support as you move along, but it’ll also be good for me for the same reason. :) perhaps i’ll post more about my own journey as i go along, and you can know that i’m out there in a very similar boat too!
Another one following you because I’m in your shoes. I always want to write about it but I think I’m still in denial and I know that if I write about it, I have to follow through. Sigh.
You are really brave to reveal this part of your life, and for what it’s worth, I’m really impressed by your choice to do so.
You’re very brave to reveal something so personal. Baring your finances is akin to baring your soul, in my book.
(My husband and I have student loan debt out the wazoo. I get how hard it is.)
I’m a newcomer to your blog, but I think it’s awesome that you’ve shared your secret about your situation. There are so many people out there in the same position (my husband and I included) and it’s tough to feel so hopeless. I keep trying to have faith that things will get better, but I’m like you working two jobs and school full-time so I understand that life itself is hard enough the last thing you want to think about is financial stresses. It’s a huge step for you to admit your issues and face them head on… I admire you for that.
I’m just like you. It’s actually sort of scary. I have huge credit card debt to the point where I’m realizing with only maxed out cards, I have zero life… It’s sad really. And I’m still at the point where I have trouble admitting it. Glad you put this blog out there though. I’m probably one of the people who could really use it.
I’m glad you posted about this because you’re not alone… as most of us are too… me included. It sucks but that’s awesome that you want to get out of debt NOW while we’re young.
I’m new and following you both here and there because a. I think you’re great! and b. I’m also in deeper than I’d like to admit. Congratulations on being recognized as 20SB’s featured blogger!