Team Jacob Just Got A New Member

But, please, you know it wasn’t me.  They’re both adorable, but given my choice of the older, colder, and more serious emo one or the younger, more energetic, angsty one, you know I’m going to make the boring choice.  It’s Edward for me.  Lisa is the one who’s had a change of heart.  I think it was the muscles that got to her, because at one point during the movie she leaned over to say, “His abs are awesome.”

I love Twilight for the same reason I love cheesy action movies and pop music: it’s so much fun.  “Insanely fun,” as John Green put it. I flipped through those pages like I was under a spell.  I got several friends to read them too.  And then we got to look forward to the movie.  And then we got to see the movie and cheer along with everyone in the theater when Edward first appeared.  And then we got to talk about how embarrassingly bad the movie was as we watched it over again.  And then we got to make our plans to see New Moon: Saturday, in celebration of Lisa’s birthday, and following some food and drinks (to ease my second-hand embarrassment for all the awkwardness).

Lisa and I stopped exchanging gifts years ago, but when I went looking for cards and came across a Twilight one, I couldn’t resist.  I might have thought twice if I’d known it would lead to an awkward conversation in the check out lane where I would pretend to know a great deal less about Twilight than I actually do.  I guess I have some shame after all.

My expectations for the first movie were really low and yet I still managed to be disappointed.  This time I had almost no expectations, because I haven’t paid much attention to Twilight in the last year, and I was pleasantly surprised.  I’d had a lot of cherry vodka, so I might need to watch it again to be sure, but I think I really liked it.  The quality was better, the acting was better, and it was funny–surprisingly, surprisingly funny.  The kids from school, especially.   I probably wouldn’t recommend the movie to someone who wasn’t already a fan, but at least this one was a joy to watch.

I haven’t picked up New Moon since I finished reading it a year and a half ago, but I actually really like the plot.  I totally bought the idea that he would leave her, thinking it was the right thing to do, and that she would be that upset.  Twilight really isn’t any different than all the love stories that have lived in literature and movies and music forever.  If Romeo and Juliet killed themselves (which always seemed so stupid to me), then I think Bella can be sad for a couple months and maybe jump off a cliff for funsies.

I never did buy the love triangle in the books.  Mostly because Jacob seemed too young and immature to me (and apparently I like ‘em old).  Thanks to Taylor Lautner, I bought it a little more in the movie.  I really did feel for the guy when she said, “Don’t make me choose, because I’ll choose him.”  That would have shattered my 17 year old heart.  That would shatter my 25 year old heart.

The Italy stuff seemed kind of weirdly tacked onto the end like action scenes always seem weirdly tacked on to Stephenie’s books, but it was all very pretty and dramatic, so I think it worked.  When they were standing in the chamber and Bella was like, “No, kill me instead,” Lisa and I were like, “What is this?  Bella sacrificing herself.  I don’t believe it.”  Mocking Twilight is half of the fun of being a fan.

And when at the very end Edward was all super emo again (you’d think he could be happy for a minute at least) and said he would only turn her under one condition–that she marry him–we were like, “Nooo, don’t get married.  Go to college!”  Because we’re big snobs.