I have a confession, blog friends. This is hard for me to say, because I like you a lot and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But, okay, here it is. My friend Lisa and I mock you on a regular basis and we have done so for more than a year now. We mock you for being so. damn. nice. to. me.
I mean, I give you every reason to hate me and instead you cheer me on for being honest? Really? Did someone forget to tell you that this is the internet and you have free reign to be as mean as possible? Have you never checked out the comments section of a You Tube video? Those people could teach you a thing or two about communicating on the internet. You could go straight for the good stuff and call me ugly, stupid, pretentious. Or, maybe you should visit a political site and let the commenters there teach you to be snarky without being funny or constructive. They are really good at that.
It’s not like I’m used to people treating me like crap. Aside from having never gone hungry, nothing speaks more to my privilege than the very high expectations I have for how I should be treated and my instinctual unwillingness to tolerate less. But, like, you are really nice to me. Constantly and insanely nice. I am typically the type of person to let compliments roll of my back while criticism strikes at my heart, but sometimes you’re loud enough to get through to me. Aside from just general kindness, some of the most thoughtful and moving compliments I have ever received have been from bloggers. One of them was even anonymous. Again. Really? You’re supposed to go anonymous to hate on people–not to tell them how genuine you think they are.
We joke about how nice you are, because I don’t know what else to do and Lisa, well, she feels threatened. She used to be head of my cheer squad, the president of my fan club, and you are encroaching on her territory. Just don’t compliment my hair. That’s her thing.
I think we all know that putting yourself out there is scary and maybe it gets less scary the more you do it, but the fear doesn’t go away. We probably wouldn’t want it to. The risk makes everything a little more exciting. And worth doing. It’s just very cool to have a place where you say what’s on your mind and have people accept you even when they don’t agree.
Even though, as you will hear in my fifth grade blog, I was once voted “Most Sincere,” I am sometimes less than awesome about telling people how amazing they are and how much I appreciate them. I’m not half the blog friend I’d like to be and not nearly as generous as most of you. I’ll get shmoopy on you another time, but for now I was just want to say that I don’t know why you’re so nice to me–I don’t deserve it, but it warms my cold little emo heart on a regular basis. And if you’re looking for some great blogs to read and some really awesome people to get to know, look no further than my blog roll. I can vouch for everyone there.
I hope at least one person still watches SNL and knows where I was going with the title.
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Well, you’re nice, so that fosters an environment of niceness to begin with. And there are a lot of places on the internet that people can go if they want to be nasty. I think when we look through personal blogs, most of us are doing so because we like people and we want to find out more about them. I know that’s where I’m coming from anyway. I deliberately avoid the kind of blogs that would make me want to argue with their owners, because that’s really not what I’m looking for out of blogging. In any case, enjoy it; it’s all too rare a thing.
I think bloggers are a completely unique crowd. For the most part, I have received many great, humbling, and encouraging words. The ones that have disagreed with me, generally, do so in a manner that is respectful not disparaging. Its one of the reasons I love blogging. I do think that you are a great person and I really love your style of writing. Its why I keep coming back.
This made me laugh. You do deserve our niceness!! Bloggers are ridiculously friendly. I’m not sure why. AND they are always there. I’ve become one of them and I don’t hate it.
I agree with Jordan. I just don’t read the blogs of people whose writing and personality I don’t enjoy. Some people do, and they may leave less-than-nice comments. But I don’t think I could ever leave a mean comment, anonymously or not. Bad karma! And the whole if you can’t say anything nice don’t say it at all deal.
ps. I got the SNL reference right away — that’s one of my favorites haha.
Well, even though I just recently started reading your blog, I’ve read more posts than you would think, and that’s because I simply enjoy them. Your writing is fantastic but easy to read and your content involves the reader on a personal level, which is always nice. As Jordan and Sophia (love the name by the way) mentioned, I too wouldn’t read a blog that I didn’t enjoy some way or another. I read personal blogs of people that I can relate to. I read self development blogs of people who remember that they are human and who remember that people make mistakes and people suffer. There is a reason why the niche is called self development.
I like commenting on posts that relay some sort of a message to me, otherwise I might read it but not bother to comment. I don’t ever do it for the sake of getting my link out there. I also never sugar coat my comments. I am not mean, but I like to say it how it is. I don’t agree with the “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say it at all”. Rather, I think that you should say what you want to (after all, blogs that allow comments should welcome both sides, good and bad). However, if there is a disagreement, I believe that people should have the common courtesy to disagree in a proper, polite way.
I also almost always leave comments that are too long…
I hope I can remain president of your fan club based entirely on my seniority. Other than that, blog friends totally have me beat.
You suck.
See, I tried and I couldn’t even be mean or hate you. You have me lovestoned.
…JT reference just for you.
Bloggers love other bloggers. What can we say? Oh, you have really nice hair.
We can be nasty to you if you REALLY want . . .?
Seriously though, you are an awesome person.
Go on, mock me again. I dare ya. :)
It’s hard to hate you when I agreed with 75% with what you said? I want to do one of these lists but I have a feeling my blog readers won’t be so sweet and nice. You gotta love nice blog readers!
I can’t speak for everyone, but I can say that I am nice to you because I like you. If I didn’t like you… I wouldn’t read your blog. But I do read your blog. So I obviously like you.
But not in a creepy way. lol
Hey, you’re nice in real life, too.
Take THAT. :P
Ha you want people to be mean? I’m scared when I take a comment someone leaves on my blog and think they’re being mean when usually I’m being sympathized with.
But I can be snarky. Give me a minute, I’ll come up with something.
I think people are so nice because empathy comes so easily after reading about a person for an extended time, even if the writing isn’t too divulging. It’s hard to be mean to someone you care about!
Haha. If people didn’t mock me so often, I would be offended.
It’s just because you’re nice. It seems most of us agree with your opinions. And you have nice hair.
Too hard to be mean when you agree with people and their quirks.
Fuck you!
…is that better? Ha.
Blog friends are great. They just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
You have ugly hair.
(Not really but I wanted to make Lisa happy…)
It’s true. You’re awesome. And I agree with Jamie- if we didn’t like you, we probably wouldn’t read your blog. But you’re way too honest and funny and sincere to make us stop.
YOU SUCK AND EDWARD IS MINE. #thisismebeingmean
(and yes, I DID just hashtagged a comment!)
well, I do think you deserve our niceness. I might not know you “in real life” but I know you through blogland and what I see/read is pretty damn awesome. I appreciate your honesty and straightforwardness because I wish I could be more like that! really, I do! and while I did comment on the “reasons to hate me” post (I did read it though, just didn’t comment, tisk tisk) I hope you didn’t take that as me agreeing that you are a horrible person! haha. everyone has things about themselves that maybe aren’t their best traits. but friends love you anyway, right? I think so. my best friend is much like you: she says what’s on her mind. sometimes it’s a no-holds-barred situation. and it can get her in trouble. some people don’t like her for it. and even though sometimes it has been directed at me, I love her for always telling the truth. and saying how she feels, because like I said before, I wish I could be more like that.
oops. that should said “didn’t comment,” but I’m sure you got that.