God, writing fiction is hard. I know I knew that already, but I have realized it all over again while working on NaNoWriMo. It makes me never want to critique another piece of literature, because I am too much in awe of anyone who can sit down day after day and put words onto paper that make sense or are at least good enough that someone else is willing to sit down and read them.
It’s hard enough just to write. It’s a struggle to get the story in your head into a series of sentences. But then to read it over and realize how awful it is, is almost defeating.
I know it’s okay to suck. I know that the more I write the better I’ll get, but it’s hard to see that way when you consider how much work is involved in writing a novel. Don’t get me wrong, I will always choose my awfully written novels over the unrealized dream of some day writing one, but they come with a lot of frustration. And a lot of bad dialogue.
I’m not giving up, of course. That’s the last thing I want to do. I just need to admit that it’s difficult for me to be so terrible at something I care so much about. I need to stop expecting myself to spin gold and instead I need to trust Ira Glass when he says that if you work long enough at something, you will eventually start creating at a level on par with your taste. In the meantime, maybe I should listen to “Gonna Fly Now” and pretend I’m Rocky, training for the big fight.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
It IS hard. Every day. Today was the easiest for me so far, and I had to write two days worth day (because I slacked off yesterday and read half of Midnight Sun :P). Starting is hard every day, I set myself a goal of 1’667 words a day to keep up. I’m already farther than I have gotten any other year. I’m proud of myself.
Even though the writing SUCKS.
My husband keeps telling me “I can’t wait to read it!” and he sounds all excited, but I keep telling him it’s not worth reading just yet. His confidence in me is amazing.
Yay to us for not giving up!
Malcolm Gladwell talks in “Outliers” about how we have to spend 10,000 hours doing something before we’re actually really good at it… unless we’re prodigies, and then sometimes we can skate by with 8 or 9k.
It sounds like this month is going to help you put in a LOT of those hours… and you will be a LOT closer to achieving the kind of writing you want. Good luck, and don’t give up! :-)
I’ve been feeling like that in regards to specific writers like Stephenie Meyers and others who I don’t necessarily jive with. I may not like what they have written, but they did write, which makes me curious as to what they were doing, thinking, planning, when writing their novels.
I think it would be neat to be their friends and find out how their writing mind works.
Sorry off topic, but had to comment! =)
seriously, I cannot imagine writing a novel. the idea of writing dialogue seems so difficult to me! so the fact that you try, that you persevere through the self-doubt and moments of self-defeat because you do care about it so much… well, that puts me in awe of you!
I completely agree.
I fell off the NaNoWriMo horse when I started writing and was about 1,500 words in and realized that I hated my main character. I didn’t like who I was creating at all. So I really need to go back and do a little character development and plot outlining. I know I won’t make 50,000 words this month but I’m going to TRY to get something!
I would like to partake in NaNoWriMo some day. From what you’ve described it sounds frustrating but definitely worth while. Maybe I’ll find the time at some point. I lack discipline when it comes to writing. Though I doubt that I’m the only one in that boat.
I’m having the same issues :p I’m only a few thousand words in, and already I’m caught up in the enormity of it all.
That and I’m obsessing over my grammer and the general feel of the story.
So, you aren’t alone :)
Good for you for continuing. I gave up :( It definitely is super hard.
At least you are self-motivating yourself… (That was a bad sentence.) I’m not trying NaNoWhateverItIs, but I’ve had book ideas swirling in my head for so long now. Yet I’m too much of a pansy to attempt writing them for fear that there’s no way I can succeed. =/
I bow down to your determination. Not only NaNoWriMo but also NaBloPoMo and school work. You rock chica!
I’d love to write a novel someday, but right now, I can’t imagine sitting for hours on end, writing. I don’t have the inspiration. Even if you don’t meet the goal, at least you tried!