This post comes to you from the depths of my drafts folder. I wrote it over the Summer, but never got around to posting it.
I was walking into work the other day when it occurred to me suddenly that I have a Master’s degree. I wasn’t thinking, “I can’t believe I work this crappy job. I have a Master’s degree!” or “I can’t believe I have to do all of my own walking. I have a Master’s degree!” It was just an out of the blue realization that, “Oh yeah, I have a Master’s degree.”
The thing is that it’s just not the big deal I once thought it was. In so many ways, it really is just a piece of paper. It doesn’t mean I’m smarter than anyone else. It doesn’t mean I have life figured out more than anyone else. And, unfortunately, in these economic times, it doesn’t even mean I’m more likely to get a decent job than anyone else.
Don’t get me wrong. No one just handed the thing to me. I put in the work. I sacrificed other opportunities. And, I took on the debt. It’s what I wanted to do and I did it. I just think it’s weird that something can seem like such a major accomplishment, but then when you actually do it, it feels remarkably unremarkable and very quickly fades into all the other things you’ve done in your life.
I guess what I’m getting at is that when I was younger, I thought that earning a Master’s degree would really mean something, and it doesn’t feel that way. And while a PhD once felt so far out of reach that it was nearly impossible, it’s now quite attainable. It will probably feel shockingly underwhelming when I finally have those letters at the front of my name.
The accomplishment itself is really no big deal, but I am not at all saying my education is meaningless. Quite the opposite, really. My education since high school has been life-changing. I am not at all the person I was when I started. I am infinitely smarter. I’m more liberal minded. I experience the world differently. I see subtlety I didn’t before. I’m actually a better person. Everything I say and write is influenced by my education.
Higher education is not a strong tradition in my family, and I haven’t always been supported in my choices even by my parents, but my mom has always said that education is more about learning to think critically than it is about memorizing facts or computing numbers. I didn’t understand that when I was younger, but I get it now.
I know that even among those of us privileged with opportunity, not everyone experiences education the way that I do. The fact that I like school baffles most of the people in my life, even those who are much smarter than me and who were better students than I am. I get anxious and doubtful sometimes when I think about the decision I’ve made to devote my life to study, but most of the time I’d have it no other way.
I nearly choke over the fact that I won’t start my full-fledged career until I’m 30 (and with major debt), when I say that even if things don’t work out the way I planned, my time spent in school will never be a waste. It’s this huge part of who I am. So much so that I can’t picture myself without it. It may not feel as prestigious or brag-worthy as I expected, but in nearly every other way, it has exceeded my expectations.
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Hi
Just made you my blog of the week, a small write up and an award you can copy over on my blog.
education is something thats stays with you forever.yeah i know the feeling a dream looks so special when it is seen as a dream but once achieved the worth of it decreases.humans are always hungry for more one goal after the other!!great to hear that you are pursuing for phd!!not now but definitely in the future education will come in handy at every moment of your life.it will provide you that confidence over yourself and give you the courage to stand tall even in the hardest of times!!keep writing!!
I have 22 blogs in my drafts folder that I plan on posting this month while I’m working on my NaNo. Except for today’s blog. I wrote that last night because I was putting off writing.
I want to get a masters badly. I’m just afraid of the debt. I know it’s going to be hard and kick my butt, but I know it’s going to be worth it
I’m not working on my masters, but I’m doing 2 years of post-grad work for a certificate program and it’s kicking my butt right now. But I’m so, so thrilled to be doing it. And I’m so excited to have done a liberal arts degree. It’s one of those things that opens you up to the world, and while there’s debt involved I think it’s extremely worthwhile. Good work, lady!
I kinda dread looking in my drafts folder as I know how out-of-control it has gotten.
I fully intend to apply for grad school after graduating next semester. And more than likely, I’ll feel exactly the same way you are. I’m OK with that.
i often feel the same way about having a J.D. but i think that your accomplishment is a huge deal b/c the fact is that you worked hard and you should feel so proud of yourself! so congratulations again! :)
I definitely expected “something different” from law school. I like the idea of it maybe being something “brag-worthy,” like you put it.
I agree, your education will always be with you and challenge you to become the person you were meant to be. Getting your PhD is a major commitment. Good for you for going after your dreams.
I can’t really imagine all the work it would take to get my masters and then a PhD! I just have my bachelors. on graduation day, I was thrilled. but that piece of paper I worked to get for 4 years quickly lost its luster, shall we say, when it took me over a year to get a full time job! ha. but still, I am proud of it. and my dad is even more so because I am the first one in the family on his side to get a degree. sometimes I wish I could go back to school, and if I could afford more debt I would, because I really did enjoy it. the classes and the people.
anyway, I feel like I am just rambling. but you should be super proud of your accomplishments. not everyone can commit the time and effort it takes to get a PhD… to me, it is very “bragworthy” ! but even more important is how you feel about it personally, so it is great that you can say your education experience has exceeded your expectations.
This is such an excellent and relevant post. Best of luck to you with your academic and professional endeavors.
This is something I never really understood. I just have a lousy BA which I’m not proud of at all because it’s not even in something which is of use to me. I mainly did it because my parents wanted me to. But my boyfriend just finished his PhD this summer, and now we’re in Tbilisi, Georgia and he’s an Economics Professor. I’m overjoyed for him because I think it’s such a wonderful accomplishment, but he is just like you. “Yeah, I have my PhD, woo hoo”. And although reading your blog it made some sense… it still doesn’t make full sense to me. I think that if I would get my PhD, I would be super proud. But then… of course, I might feel just like you and my boyfriend once I did get it. Hmm…