A lot of successful people have that story of the coach who said they’d never make it or the English teacher who said they’d never be a good writer. First of all, who says things like that? Second, of course the person then goes out and proves all the naysayers wrong. I’m sure that for every person who proves us all wrong, there’s at least 100 more who don’t, but you can’t beat that American Dream/Rudy optimism out of me.
As it turns out, I’ve had mostly awesome teachers and supportive people in my life. Or, maybe they realized that if they said anything mean to me, I’d cry. I’ve been criticized, but no one has ever said, “You’ll never make it little girl!”
I’m still enchanted by the combination of dreams and blind ambition. It’s the reason I think Grease 2 is far superior to the original. Whether you’re transforming from nerd to bad ass, chunky to ultra-marathon runner, or whatever, I’ll take it.
It’s not always been a healthy preoccupation for me. Sometimes I’ve lived too much in that unreal world of self-transformation and forgotten to like the person I really am. I’ve become much saner about this way of thinking, but it holds power over me still.
It’s mostly fiction, I know. Years ago I transformed from slacker to good student. It was a conscious decision and changed my life, but it didn’t compare to a movie montage set to “Gonna Fly Now.” There’s a reason we all eat these stories up, but have problems duplicating them in our own lives. It’s never as glamorous as it seems, there’s a high rate of failure, and few of us have a crowd of naysayers waiting to be proven wrong.
I guess there will always be something magical to me about taking control of your life. About doing something when it would be easier to sit still. About facing all of your fears and doing the difficult thing when it would be better for your ego to stick to what you know.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I dont think I’ve had anyone tell me I wouldnt be able to do whatever I wanted either. I’ve always had to have the drive myself, people always told me I could. I put a lot of pressure on myself for a long time to live up to their sometimes impossible standards. I suppose its skewerd thinking, but maybe if someone had told me I wouldnt be able to do something I would have done more.
I don’t understand why people like to crush dreams. I’m a teacher and even if I thought that a student wouldn’t make it as a writer, I could never bring myself to say that….why would I want to? Anything is possible…especially if you believe it (and others do too).
I feel that way about running. I was never an athlete and when I was a kid I WAS told I couldn’t do it, that I was fat and was basically laughed at by my gym teacher.
I wish I could see him now and be like “Hey, Mr. G, I ran two half-marathons this year. What did YOU do? :|”
Haha. But ya, I NEVER thought I could be a runner, and now I am. I think that it has to do with believing in myself and it also has to do with taking things slowly. I didn’t jump into it, I worked my way up to where I am now!
I actually never had anyone that told me I couldn’t do something. but I did have someone tell me that I needed to be more like this other person, and learn from this person. I think that is almost worse for me because it is putting it out there that I could be good enough if I was more like this other person.
Taking the first step to face your fears is already a bold move. Sometimes we’re too set in our ways or day dreams that we forget to challenge ourselves
I’ve had people tell me I can do whatever I want my whole life and I think it was both a blessing and a curse. I have the confidence to try things, but I have the arrogance to do it half-assed.
“I guess there will always be something magical to me about taking control of your life. About doing something when it would be easier to sit still. About facing all of your fears and doing the difficult thing when it would be better for your ego to stick to what you know.”
so i just finished writing what could possibly be the most depressing, throw-in-the-towel post in my short blogging history. and then i read your post and am inspired again!
thanks! :)
I wish a major life change could take place in a two-hour period (with theme music and everything). I guess it’s the “getting there” part that makes it so awesome, though.
I had a professor tell me, while I was deep into Kerouac and figuring out where I was going to apply after I graduated, that I should really consider American Studies and that doing “English” w/ Kerouac would be very very difficult. That was as close as I got to someone telling me that I couldn’t do something like… straight out. I think that’s the key and what separates “real life” from fiction. Things don’t happen THAT instantaneously or with such a degree of grandeur, but things are more gradual. It’s like how The West Wing is pretty true in some ways but it’s also sensationalized. That said, sometimes I wish life was more cut-and-dry/in your face like that.
Love that song
Grease 2 is superior. For damn sure.
I’ve had some dream crushers in my past, in the form of two arrogant graduate students. They told me I shouldn’t be a photographer. Period. Should drop out of all my photo classes, etc. I never took their words to heart (even though they did make me self-conscious) and pursued photojournalism. While I’m not a fine arts photographer, I love what I do. And it makes me happy to know that I overcame that.
You’re right. There is something so wonderful about taking control of your destiny and facing your fears. It’s wonderful!