You should know that I’m currently at war with myself. I absolutely don’t want to write another post about how busy and tired I am. About how my crazy schedule is kicking my ass. About how I really need a time turner.
I have a lot of other stuff written. I could post some of that. But, it feels dishonest somehow not to talk about the thing that’s dominating my life. It’s the pink elephant, except you can’t see it, because we’re not in the same room.
There’s another factor. I find it annoying to hear people talk about how busy they are. It’s an irrational annoyance–like most annoyances, I guess. First, it sometimes seems like what they’re really saying is, “I’m busier than you. And, in fact, I am also more important.” Second, I immediately start scrutinizing those people and their priorities, thinking obnoxious things like, “Oh, well I see she has 45 minutes to talk to a coworker, but not to sit at her desk and get what I need done.” So I don’t like to talk about how I’m busy, because it’s like begging for a game of one-upping or to have people scrutinize what you do have time for–like, blogging!
Also, I can’t say the words, “I’m really busy” without the voice in my head going, “Well, not really.” Like it’s a confidence thing or something. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me on this one. It’s not like I’m saying I’m gorgeous or a freaking genius or something.
So, I’m not sure why it took me four paragraphs to say that I’m busy and I have a hard time saying it, but I feel like I have to say it, because I need for other people to know that I’m experiencing something here. It’s definitely a test of my limits. And, it’s probably a lesson in learning to say no to even the best of opportunities.
I should have spent the last 15 minutes (my break between class and work) doing research for a professor who needs it like now! Ahh! I’ve already spent every spare moment working on it for the last several days. Ahhh!! again. But it felt better to write this instead. Yeah, I’m doing okay. I’m fine and happy and even pretty cheerful, but I’m struggling a bit too and I guess I just had to say it.
Of course, it’s not with you guys that I have a problem saying “I’m busy and stressed and need you to just be nice to me right now!” It’s those pesky IRL people. Reaching out, especially for help, is not a strength of mine. But I can’t pretend to be stoic here; I need some support and understanding.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I think sometimes you do just need to take a bit of time out and vent, even if it is only to say how you don’t actually have time to do so. I hope things will get easier for you.
Its ok to ask for ask for help when you need it. Its hard for me too so I sort of understand where you are coming from. Hang in there. And I hope you can find some time to just breathe in the very near future.
Welcome to the club! We have club meetings… never, since nobody has time to come.
This was interesting. I never really thought about it, but I too get a little bit angry when the people IRL tell me that they’ve been busy when I ask why I haven’t heard from them. I personally make a conscious effort to at least make a phone call, text or e-mail my friends semi weekly to check in. When no response comes, I get “I’ve been busy.”
Though now that my work load has quadrupled, I can totally understand, but I still get a little perturbed when I get this excuse from others. It’s like “How busy are you that you can’t take a second out to send me a 140 character or less text message saying hello?”
It’s just one of those things, I guess. I hope you stay comfortably busy and don’t get too overwhelmed :)
I agree, Katie. Life is a balancing act, and the fact that you, Ashley, are taking the time to talk to your friends and readers in this post means that you probably won’t become one of those people who is too busy to keep the relationships in her life going.
I’m super busy and feel like complaining too. You are probably way busier than me though, so I feel ridiculous for whining. Also, it is only week one out of..uhh, twenty?
I can never ask for help either, but I’m working on it, as should you. Its amazing when you find friends that want to do things for you. My roommates are like that. Its great.
My own blog practically became an SOS while in law school and, as uninteresting as I’m sure that was for readers, it was one of the few outlets I had so, in the end, it was necessary. I think it’s definitely hard to ask for help or support IRL, so if you need a place in which to say, “I’m busy,” (even if you DO mean to say that you’re busier than most!) then where better?
It good to have a place to vent otherwise you’d go crazy. I think whenever anyone talks about how _____ they are (busy, sad, happy, stressed) in real life there are always people who take it as a pissing contest. You just have to find the people who will understand without trying to one-up you (my mother is usally the person I go to).
It’s good that you took the time to write it out. Now, go and take five minutes and sit on bench and look the clouds, or flowers, or something calming and not having to do with schoolwork. It’s NECESSARY to do so. Collect your thoughts (or have not thoughts at all during that time) and just try to relax your body, gurrrrl.
I have the same feelings as you most of the time. I’m busy, but I hate to gripe about it. Still, it’s okay to say you’re busy- just don’t brag about it constantly! And know that it’s your choice to be busy, and if you want to you can always take a breather. The world will not collapse if you stop moving for awhile. :)
I hope you find some time to relax soon!
~Amanda
Those IRL people are always meaner than your friends on the interwebs. Mine are the same way.
This whole post makes me think of a Seinfeld episode, “The Scofflaw,” where George says:
Busy. Don’t give me busy. Who’s not busy? I’m busy, we’re all busy,
everybody’s busy.
I mean, on the one hand we’re all (more or less) busy and we probably could be less busy if we didn’t procrastinate as much but still… you’re busy and you are feeling the stressful effects of that and that’s real no matter what, you know? I know I said this about something else but as long as you keep things in some kind of perspective, it’s all right to complain. Believe me, I do it all the time yet I also know that I’m probably not as busy as I think. But I hope things get a little better and less hectic and always know that you’ve got a sympathetic blog audience to vent to whenever you need!
I couldn’t even imagine being as busy as I envision you are, so feel free to say it whenever necessary. Hell, I’d be shouting it as a complaint if you – but I’m a complainer, so it’s what I do.
I felt sort of crappy after writing my post on my stress because I just thought of you…and how much MORE stressed you are! You have my utmost respect for being able to do all that you do…and update your blog so frequently! I don’t know how you do it. :)
*Offers support and understanding*
We are totally here for you! Blog all you need. It’s therapeutic, so it helps relieve stress which enables you to do all those other things that need to get done. Therefore, it’s actually GOOD you take time to blog! I’m sure it makes you much more productive in all other areas of your life. :)
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