School is Hard

I haven’t written much about the fact that I’m back in school now. Last year I only took a few courses for funsies, did some research for a few professors, and then wrote my thesis, so even though I was in school mode the whole time, I wasn’t going full time. Aside from my crazy schedule, it’s mostly been an easy adjustment back, but there are a few things I’d forgotten. Like, just the endurance it takes to get through a 3 hour class. I’m good for the first hour and a half, then we take a break and the half hour after that goes pretty quickly, but then that last hour is just a killer as I not-so-conspicuously check my phone to see what time it is. I’ve actually started wearing a watch again, so I can better keep my eye on the time.

I also forgot that most of the stuff we read sounds like straight-up nonsense the first time through. One sentence was so ridiculous, I just had to tweet about it. That damn sentence was in a 4-page section of a chapter I had to present to the class. Yeah, I still don’t know what it means and I’ve read it like 20 times now. I don’t think anyone else knew what it meant either. Thankfully I had a lot of other material to present on, so it didn’t all hinge on that one ridiculous sentence. The sentences around it I could at least figure out the third time through.

For anyone who doesn’t know, I study theology and philosophy of religion. My grad program basically consists of reading a whole lot and then talking about it. Assignments usually consist of class presentations on the reading, a few short papers, a 20 page research paper for a final, and then maybe a few creative assignments thrown in (like, write a poem). Everything basically revolves around the reading. Again, there is a ton of reading (50-350 pages per week, per class) and most of it is really difficult. I’ve gotten now so that I can scan through the easier stuff pretty quickly, but when it comes to the more difficult reading, it can take hours and hours just to get through a short chapter because it is so dense and difficult to understand (damn you, philosophy!). Then I can get to class and we can start talking about the reading, and I’ll realize I never really understood it at all.

Some classes are really tense and you know that opening your mouth risks saying something stupid for which you will be judged. Other classes are much more laid back and you feel comfortable throwing out ideas.

I still haven’t gotten into the groove of setting aside large chunks of time to just sit and read. It’s been kind of difficult for my internet-obsessed mind to slow down and focus like that. I find that though my eyes are scanning the words, I’m thinking about blog posts and scenes for a new novel and how much I could really use a cup of coffee.

I don’t think there really is any adjusting to the crazy schedule. The most noticeable thing to me is not all the running around, but just the fact that for a homebody, I’m almost never at home. And, it was stupid, but yesterday when a professor asked if I’d be up for some research work, I agreed. It’s just too hard to say no to a good opportunity. Plus, my eye isn’t twitching, so the stress obviously isn’t too bad yet. In fact, having no time has actually been better for my anxiety, because it’s the potential problems that wear me down and not the real stuff.

And, hey, Thursday is my Friday, so things are looking up.

I typically forget to say things like this, but if you don’t already follow me on twitter, I hope you’ll consider it now.  I’d love to talk to you.  You can find me @writetoreach.