I tried to think of an alternative title, because I don’t normally say things like kicking my ass. But, there are no alternatives. I’m getting my ass kicked.
I was so optimistic going into the school year, but 13-15 hour days are leaving me too exhausted to sing and do air kicks. As excited as I still am about everything, I only slept 4 hours last night. I haven’t been home or had a real break in 12 hours and with 3 to go. Chex Mix has become a major food group. I showed up to my second class today not having done the reading, because I had to train someone at work instead (managed to fake my way through pretty convincingly, though). And, even if I went to bed the second I got home tonight, I’d have no chance of getting a full night of sleep.
I remember the first summer I ever spent working full time. After a few weeks, I said something to my mom about how it isn’t the working 8 hours a day that sucks; it’s the not having time for anything else or being too tired to do anything else that really wears you down. Instead of saying “duh!” or something really obnoxious like, “welcome to the real world,” my mom just said, “Isn’t that the pits?”
Getting my ass kicked by 50 hours of work and a full load of classes would be unbearable if I didn’t really like everything I’m doing. I like my classes and my professors. I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world to get to study something I feel so passionately about. I have a better job than I really could have imagined; not many of my classmates have good health insurance paid in part by their employers or that miracle of miracles known as paid vacation. And, while Job #2 isn’t exactly glamorous, I’m on the staff at what is basically the world center of the kind of theology I study.
I think that if this were a movie, I’d be running around campus from class to meeting to work to meeting to class to work (that was today’s schedule) while some kick-ass song about achieving your dreams played in the background. I’ll try to keep that in mind while I live in the real world where even though I’m motivated and enjoying what I’m doing, I still spend a great percentage of my time tired and hungry.
I don’t want this post to be too much of a downer, because that’s not how I’m feeling. Basically, I’m a happy-exhausted girl. But, I’ve been surprised to find that running around busy all the time has left me feelings surprisingly lonely. It’s a weird feeling for me, because I don’t feel lonely very often–usually only when I’m bored or it’s the holidays. Maybe I just feel like I don’t have enough people to talk to about all the stuff going on. I don’t know. But, you do a great job of filling that little void, friends.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Yeah, being busy to that degree can make you feel detached from other people. But, at least I believe, what it all comes down to is eventually you really learn and understand your schedule and you begin to adapt to it. My “busy” days (I used the quotes because they’re nowhere near as busy as your Wed.) are always REALLY tough and horrible at the beginning but after I’ve gone through a bunch of them my body has found the rhythm, both in terms of getting on a proper sleep schedule and what I need to do during the day (aka finding times to eat). So just keep on plugging away and eventually you’ll find that sweet spot. It won’t be easy, but it will be much more manageable.
I also highly recommend bringing food with you. Make yourself a couple of sandwiches or some pasta you can throw into some Tupperware. That was my saving grace a lot of the time, and I need to get back to doing that again.
I know I just told you this, but I don’t know how you keep up with this schedule. I would drop dead. This is why you’re my oldest and smartest friend.
Next time you’re running around campus put that song on your ipod and pretend you are in that movie. Keep it up!
Ugh, that sucks. I think that’s kind of how my schedule is going to be once I get into it. Work, school, work, running, social time, bleh!
It’s good that you LOVE everything you are doing though, that makes it all more worth it!
You need a time turner! Like Hermione! In Harry Potter! :P
I really don’t know how you do it. I work just 30 hours a week and have 4 UNDERGRAD classes and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. It hasn’t been too bad yet but I have 3 papers due next week so I’m starting to feel the pressure. But I’d probably want to tear my hair out if I had your schedule! Good luck!!!