Tomorrow I am officially a PhD student. I wrote this post I haven’t yet published about how remarkably unremarkable each level of education feels once you get there no matter how daunting each once seemed, but I have to admit that I like the ring of “PhD student.” Being a Master’s student was like testing the waters. Is this really what I want to do? Being a PhD student sounds a lot more legitimate. Of course I still wonder if this is really what I want to do, because all those quiet hours studying and those years continuing on as a student when your friends start making real money and buying houses (Elyse!) while your student loan debt keeps piling up, leave a lot of room for doubt. A lot of room.
But, there’s no doubt that this is what I love to do. I’ve always loved school, even when I wasn’t very good at it. This weekend, two of my family members were talking about how depressing it is when Fall starts coming on. I couldn’t feel more the opposite. It’s the best time of the year; there’s nothing like school supplies and new beginnings. There’s something about the fresh start of a school year that I find enchanting. And I’m not one to throw around words like enchanting!
This only feels kind of like a new beginning, because I know this place. I know the school and the professors and the city. I definitely know the library. What’s more, people know me. There’s good and bad in that.
On paper, this year seems impossible. I’m going to be attending school full time, working full time in the library, and also working for at least one of my professors. Not to mention blogging and trying to stay sane. I remain foolishly optimistic that I’m going to be able to do it all and do it well.
Tonight, though, I’ll drink some beer and finish the 4th season of Weeds and try to record in writing how it feels to be on the brink.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree with you about how Fall always seems to have a buzz about it. I love this time of year, even though I no longer go to school. There’s still a fresh start feeling to it.
Good luck in everything you have set out to do. Just remember to take a breath every now and again.
Being a PhD student does sound like a big deal, but I guess if you’ve gotten that far, there’s no reason why you can’t take the next step. Good luck anyway. Beer and television seems like a good way to relax in preparation.
I felt the same sense of being…unremarkable…after the J.D. came through. My parents (rightfully so) thought I was crazy! And I think, although I hate the term, we “career academics” tend to be that way. But you are remarkable! Congrats so far, and good luck tomorrow, Ms. PhD Student!
As much as I love summer, I also love fall. Right now I’m sort of in the transitional phase. In a few weeks I’ll be fully immersing myself in the glory of all things fall. Working on a university campus I definitely feel the buzz and excited expectation as the academic year kicks off. Good luck tomorrow on your first day as a PhD student. You’ll be wonderful!
Yay! Enjoy school….you will do wonderful with all the changes and challenges ahead!
Good luck! I have a feeling this year holds great things for you.
I get SOOO excited for Fall every year! The organizational freak inside of me LOVES it when school starts. I’m actually quite sad this year is my last year, or my undergraduate degree anyways. I have a feeling there will be more school in my future!
This is so exciting! I can’t wait to see where this year takes you!
How can anyone dislike the feeling of fall coming up? It is, hands down, my favorite time of year…but maybe that’s because I wish I could be a full-time paid student :).
Congratulations on the new title and good luck this year!! You’ll do amazing, I’m sure!
I always found fall very exciting. It’s a chance to start fresh! I am also obsessed with school supplies and bought some this year even though I am done with college. Good luck with your busy schedule. Stay organized (which it doesn’t seem like you will have a problem doing) and you will be golden.
You’re going be fine. =)
Best wishes on Grad School 2.0
Going back to school always felt exciting to me. Loose-leaf paper, colored pens, trapper-keepers… it was the thing I looked forward to most about school.
You will certainly be busy, but if in your shoes, the anticipation to dive right in would be killing me. All the best as you start the new year. I’m jealous. I really am.