All along the drive back across the state to Western Washington, I was thinking about how to write this post. Seems dishonest to say nothing, but it’s not something I really feel like dwelling on or analyzing right now.
As far as families go, mine is pretty easy going. No big feuds. No two people who won’t speak to each other. Even my divorced parents are on good terms. But, that doesn’t mean I’m spared from all the emotional crap that comes along with being part of a family.
My sister and I do not have a good relationship. I basically shut her out years ago, because, though I’m sure it’s never entered her mind as a conscious thought, she’s pretty hell bent on making me feel as bad about myself as she can. We’re fine on short occasions with a lot of time in between, but sharing a hotel room with her for two days really starts to wear on me. This makes it sound worse than it is, I’m sure. But, it’s not nothing.
And it’s not just my sister. It’s pretty normal family stuff, but I take it all very personally. I don’t know why.
I feel bad for thinking it, though I know I’m not alone. But, it’s nice to think that I get to go back to my little apartment a thousand miles away from all this. I love my family, but I’m happy to be doing my own thing.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Sister drama is the worst. I’ve had my fair share and I’m still learning how to cope with it. Don’t feel guilty for venting, everyone needs to get things off their chests.
That’s one of the greatest treasures of growing up, finding your own space that’s YOURS. Family will always be family, and they’ll always be there for you, but you don’t have to be together 100% of the time to appreciate it. Quite the opposite, sometimes you need to step away and take a breather before you can really appreciate something like family.
I know what you mean, I live an ocean away from my family and I love them to death but I felt like I needed the distance in order to really establish myself and live my own life but thanks to technology they’re still very much involved in my life, my mom reads my blog, my dad follows me on twitter, and my brother and I texting fiends.
Moving out since college was the best decision of my life. I get to control “family” time. I love being on my own
I have no sisters, but I understand the family drama. It was very stressful for me to live at my parent’s house for six months after college. I’m grateful everyday that I have my own place.
I think that’s how many of us feel who even just live alone.
That sucks that your sister makes you feel like that.
I definitely do not like being THAT far from my family. I would like to be a 2-3 hour drive from them, then I could pop in for lunch or go visit them for the day and then get back to my own little world after that! Haha.
Glad to hear you’re happy to be heading back home rather than sad about it, though!
don’t feel bad. I totally get it. I only live 15 minutes from my family and brother, but the distance is GOOD. so good. we are on much better terms I think now that I live away, out of the house. I can see them when I want to. I can call them up when I feel like talking. it is much better this way. my brother and I did not get along as kids, lots of fighting, but we are better now. but we still don’t talk too much. we don’t have a lot in common and my brother is not the best at conversation :) he keeps a lot inside. anyway, I try to be a good sister and check in on him every once in awhile. I know we love each other even if we don’t say it. maybe one day you and your sister will be better (aka, she will be nicer) but for now, it is what it is (it sounds like) and again I say, it is okay to like the distance. because I do. you are definitely not alone.
I don’t really have a relationship like that with anyone in my family, but I wouldn’t want to be around any of them constantly either. People definitely need their own space. Hope you can get through it.
I have the most amazing relationship with my family that I just feel so sad when people talk about going back to visit family and having a bad time. I couldn’t imagine leaving them, even though I’m sure it’s going to happen in the future. So I’m sad that there is family drama in your life, especially with a sister who brings you down.
My younger sister is like that. It’s like she finds pleasure in making comments about me/my hair/my clothes/my choices…basically anything that she knows will piss me off. These days I mostly ignore her. And I’m glad I don’t live at home anymore.
It makes me sad though because sisters are supposed to be a support system, and in addition to being a sibling,a good friend. You know?
So yeah. You’re not alone.
My little sister can be like that sometimes, in the same non-conscious way. I feel ya.
I know how you feel. Ever since I moved out, I can only be around my family for short periods. Not that I don’t love them or love being around them, but I need my space. It’s nice to know that I only have to go home to my husband … and I don’t mind him most of the time. ;)
I don’t usually experience sister drama. What I do experience is mother drama. Or rather drama with my mother’s side of the family. I am happy to be able to have my own space while I’m in college. I think that is very important as you begin to transition into adulthood.
sometimes i feel like that too. my sister and i have gotten better over the years.