I think that most of you know my blog is named after the Travis song “Writing to Reach You.” It’s a song I’ve liked for a long time, but my love for it probably peaked in early 2005. Still, the phrase writing to reach you has continued to echo in my head. For a long time, I really wanted to get it tattooed on my wrist.
So, I named my blog after the phrase more so than the song. Here’s what I like about the phrase. It’s about writing, but it’s about writing for a purpose: to reach people. That’s what blogging is to me. I write because it’s what I like to do, but I don’t write just for me. I write because I want people to read and enjoy it. Maybe there will always be something a little selfish about that, but other people are necessary to it. Writing to me is fundamentally about communication, and I judge writing by how well in communicates. That’s why I don’t care about big words or complex sentences. Good writing is clear. Good writing reaches people. It takes chances, but it doesn’t get in the way of itself.
Still, when you name your blog after a song, you can’t help but feel that the song is intimately connected to your blog. Now when I listen to “Writing to Reach You,” I feel like it should give me some kind of special blog vibes or I should find some relevance to my blog hidden within the lyrics. But I don’t, because the song is more about heartbreak than writing and, well, it was released in 1999, before the concept of a blog was anything concrete.
At least, that’s what I thought for a long time. But, several months ago, I was listening to “Writing to Reach You,” and I made a connection to the blog that I’ve never made before. Like most music I like, it’s a depressing song. There’s such futility and impotence to the idea of writing to reach someone. Talking to someone or yelling at them is a bold act; they can’t help but hear you. But, writing is much more passive and your audience can choose to read your words or they can walk away. Still, you have something to say, and maybe you can’t scream it from the mountain tops like you’d really like to, but you have to do something, so you write. And, your writing might never reach people the way you want it to, but at least you’re putting it out there.
I’m not good at communicating myself. As my sister told me a few months ago, “you don’t talk to us.” Of course, she went on to call me self-righteous, which sums up why I don’t talk about anything real with my sister: she always makes me regret it. I’m not good at telling people about myself. I’m not good at putting myself on the line. But, I want to connect with people, and I can write. So, I do write. And, it’s never quite enough, especially because the people I most want to know me don’t know that I have a blog. But, it’s something.
I’ll be honest, I sometimes romanticize the futility of writing to reach people–of writing to reach you. There’s a longing to it. It’s a little desperate. But, it keeps me striving forward. It keeps me writing. I thrive on depressing crap like this.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I really enjoyed this post (as I do all of them) because its so so true. I find that I get my point across much more effectively when its in written form. Writing to reach people is very important and I think you do it splendidly.
Great post.
I don’t think you should say you are a bad communicator. Everyone communicated differently, and writing is definitely a form of communication (and one that you are great at!)
BTW- I’m listening to this song right now, and I really like it!
I communicate much better in writing. Growing up, when I had something of complete importance to say, I’d write a letter.
Well, I think Writing to Reach You is incredibly appropriate for a blog, I mean, consider the fact that all of us are writing to reach an audience. Most of us are looking for some kind of importance or influence.
i second Kat and i also like that your blog is named after a song that touched you. the same thing happened to me. i used to listen to really depressing music, even my boyfriend wouldn’t listen to it because he said he didn’t like the way it made him feel. my justification was that sometimes the music helped me to feel things i would otherwise keep repressed. then the song i named my blog after (how lucky we are – meiko) came on and that was it. it meant the world to me, it perfectly described my life, my relationship, who i wanted to be.
I like to talk, but as I’ve said before I have a hard time making my thoughts go from my brain to my mouth sometimes. Especially when it comes to emotional matters. If it’s something that I know about, things flow rather easily, but emotions….well, you know how I feel about those…..
I think that there’s a significant distinction between poignant and insightful writing on the one hand and depressing stuff on the other. While I’m a newcomer, what I’ve seen lies firmly in the former category; indeed, it’s strong, it’s real, and it makes one think, process, and feel. The name of the site is apt.
I’ll just say this: you’ve gained a new reader and I’m looking forward to more.
Sure, writing might be a futile act, but I think deep down you have to believe that someone’s going to read and going to say, “Aha.” That moment is easy to achieve when reading your posts for me. But maybe I’m thinking along a similar vein because I really like depressing music too.
Writing is not any less valid than having a verbal conversation with someone. Everyone has a way to communicate that they’re most comfortable with. You’re such a skilled writer and never cease to inspire me with how open you are about yourself on your blog. It’s still one of my favorites.
This is another wonderful post that I completely relate to. I have a hard time communicating with people and sometimes prefer to just write it all down and have them read it.
I love your title. And I love the song. So now everytime I hear it, it reminds me of you and your wonderful writing.
I think its easier to express your feelings in a written form than face to face. Your thoughts are more organized. And on the plus side you can always edit what you wrote.
i hear you. on almost all of it, actually.
the one thing that is different is something that i’ve consciously chosen to change and it’s HARD. and that’s communicating with people. face to face. being honest, being open. and whatever comes out of my mouth comes out. secrets, honest opinions, misguided thoughts, all of it. i’ve decided that because those are the kind of friendships that i want to form. i am so tired of superficial friends and when i’m honest, they either are honest back or they leave. and i’m fine with both options.
writing is a world all unto itself. it’s you, your “pen and paper”, your thoughts. and it’s less scary. because you can edit, rework, reword, and make it say precisely what you want it to say. and that’s what i love about writing.
like i said, i feel like you pulled most of this out of my own brain, and i love it. and that’s why i keep coming back. thanks.
I wish I had words to say now, but you’ve left me a bit speechless.
I definitely believe you reach people. Sure, there are times when I read and don’t relate to you – but we’re different people, so that’s bound to happen. Other days, what you say truly does resonate with me and causes me to think a bit more about something. Nearly daily, I think you accomplish your goal of reaching people. Maybe it’s not always me, but it’s probably someone out there.
First of all, I love that song too. I love Travis. They’re my local band so it’s extra good that I actually LIKE them too. :)
Secondly, I definitely feel like if I am trying to communicate something, I communicate it FAR better via the written word than I do via speech. I don’t know why, but it’s just the way it is. I don’t rate myself particularly highly as a writer but I do believe if I could speak as well as I write, I would be far easier to understand!
More often than I like I am terrible at communication. I just do not know how to express myself. I agree with you that writing somehow makes communication possible – this is especially true for me. Whenever I am dealing with highly volatile emotions I find myself forced to use letters. Yes, old fashioned, stamp-bearing letters. Maybe not hand-written depending on what I have to say.
I love the phrase you’ve chosen for your blog! Definitely feel what you are saying about the meaning. I on the other hand never seem satisfied with mine.
I’ve changed the direction of my personal blog so many times and I’ve finally reached a decision that I want it to be about all aspects of my life, not just my writing aspirations. I have two other blogs that are both niche blogs and I’ve been doing consumer magazine writing for so long now that I’ve forgotten how to write to (which is what I want my blog to be, a dear diary) myself–something you do really well :)
Hey found you thru 20SB..
I think the title of your blog is awesome, really… my blog doesn’t have a name and it’s blog that yours that make me want one. Plus it’s really true… that you ARE writing to reach other people!
I’m definitely with you. There is something humble about writing, something quieter, but sometimes it can contain power that no amount of yelling can.
I think you DO reach people. All the comments on your posts are so evident of this. You give us something to laugh about, something to think about, someone to connect with.
I think that’s what writing is, in the end. It’s our connection. It is our way of reaching out, hoping we find someone who might read our words, see who we are, and reach out back to us.
Keep writing, because you are reaching people who receive your words and reach back.
Writing, and reading the writing of other people, gives me hope. I know it sounds corny, but even if you don’t feel like you’re reaching someone right now, you’re creating a record of our time, and that’s pretty incredible.
It is hard to think you can communicate when those who are supposed to be closest to you shut you down–I get that. But–don’t ever think you are reaching no one, because you really are.