I’m in the library where I worked for two years and spent countless hours finishing assignments and pouring my heart out into my journal. I came here today, because I need to get started on my summer research project and I can’t seem to concentrate in my tiny apartment. I shouldn’t have been surprised because it’s happened before, but as I was walking up the stairs to my favorite study spots, I felt this huge wave of nostalgia.
According to that infallible source Wikipedia, nostalgia is a longing for the past. I don’t know if I’m longing for the past, but as I walked up those stairs, all the big feelings I’ve felt in this library came rushing back to me. Sometimes it’s liberating to think that the past is the past and I don’t have to go back there ever again. And sometimes it’s terrifying.
I could say that I don’t have any regrets, because everything I’ve done has led me to where I am now and I like where I am now. But, that’s not true. I have regrets. They don’t haunt me, but they’re there. Most of them follow the same theme and it’s nothing unique. I’m so forward thinking, so focused on finishing the things in front of me that I forget to experience the here and now. The biggest part of the here and now that I forget is spending time connecting with people. I’m in such a hurry all the time and I forget how much I not just need, but actually enjoy people.
Yesterday, Lisa and I saw the soon to be classic 17 Again. If you’re focused enough to get past that bright smile of Zac Efron, you might notice that the story is about a guy who longs for his life as a seventeen year old, because he has so idealized it in his head that nothing can compare. When I wasn’t thinking, “how does Zac Efron keep his hair so perfect?” I was thinking that I do not long for my life as a seventeen year old, because my life now is so much better. Or, who I am now is so much better. That’s progress and it temporarily relieves some of that existential anxiety about the past always slipping away.
Of course, sometimes it’s fun to revel in that nostalgia. I like to be swept away by things and being flooded by the thoughts of Ashley Three Years Ago is the kind of self-indulgence and nostalgia I can get behind.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t long for my life as a 16/17 year old at all. My life is much better now. Although, I’ve heard that people who were “cool” in high school and now do nothing with their lives long for those days. Was that by any chance what the Zac Efron character was like?
Good luck with your research project!
ahh, I love finding relevant meaning in teen movies :)
Do you think you could win a fight with the tweens and teenagers who also love Zac?
I like the older Zack. You know, Morris.
:)
No way: I definitely don’t want to go back to being 17. Unless… I could keep the brain I have now to remember all that I’ve learned. That might make it better.
Being 17 again? No thanks. I always worry about people when they reach their mid-20s and they are convinced that high school was the best time of their life. I mean, seriously? It seems to be a great thing that we wouldn’t go back or trade in our lives now for then. Shows a lot about the confidence we have in ourselves, so I think, even if we don’t always believe in it.
Nostalgia. I can definitely identify with that feeling. Sometimes I miss where I was; sometimes I’m thrilled with where I am. I long for simpler days, but I also love who I am now. It’s fun to look at who we were, mostly because then we can see how far we’ve come.
I agree. It’s so important to enjoy the here-and-now.
I don’t usually get nostalgic for my 17 year old self, except for the fact that I had a larger circle of friends in high school, one that included more guys, and sometimes I think it would be nice to have that back. but high school had a lot of drama too and at 17 I was dating my now ex boyfriend so no, I don’t want to go back.
but I do get nostalgic about college. I’m only 2 years out so the past really isn’t that far away. I understand the nostalgia you felt walking into the library. I get the same way when I walk onto my old campus. but again, I think the reason I want to go back is because of the relationships I made in college. I felt maybe more understood there, especially with my friends in the newsroom. and I was in a sorority so I had no lack of girlfriends or things to do– not that I always had the time to do them! but now I work at home and can feel a little shut out sometimes. So I definitely do get nostalgic about my college days with roommates and my friends always close by.
ok, this comment is way too long but to wrap things up, I think its ok and normal and, like you said, sometimes “fun to revel” in nostalgia as long as we don’t get trapped in it (maybe like in 17 Again? I haven’t actually seen it!) and keep moving forward.
For me, I don’t think it’s so much of reliving high school over again as going back and being able to fix some of my mistakes I’ve made since high school. I didn’t HATE high school but, looking back, it would be nice to tell my future self what NOT to do. But such is life, right?
Sometimes you just need a break! I get nostalgic a lot — but usually when I’m hormonal :oP