We’re all shortsighted. Perspective is limited, and even though we all have special insight into human nature since we’re treated to the madness inside our own heads, when we look outside ourselves, we assume that things are simple.
I do this even though I should know better. I meet people. They seem to have everything together. They’re smart and creative and funny. I think of all the ways I’m not as smart and creative and funny as them. But then it happens. Sometimes the cracks appear slowly and sometimes the flood gates open at once. They’re not perfect and they never were. Sometimes they were pretending to be, but usually it’s just me projecting.
These moments of realization, when it becomes clear to me again that no one deserves a pedestal, used to be painful. It was hard to face my unreal expectations. Somehow, I was tied up in the ways I thought of other people. It would seem that I’d be relieved to realize I’m not alone in my number of faults, but I wasn’t. I wanted to believe that some people really do have it all figured out.
In some ways, I have learned to accept myself as I am. I’m not a girl full of insecurities anymore. But, it was never just about insecurities. For my own sake, I want to feel legitimate and put together, and it’s hard for me to accept that life is messy. You can feel good one day and fall apart the next. The unpredictability of it all is part of what makes life so exciting, but it’s also what makes it so hard to be human.
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Aren’t those moments of realization great. It’s like the sun comes out and suddenly illuminates whatever you’re looking at in a way you’ve never seen before. I like to think of it as seeing the cracks in the statues, which I’m pretty sure is stolen directly from the movie “Alfie”, but who cares.
It makes us feel better when we see that people are just like us. We see that everyone has their insecurities and quarks. It’s what makes us all human.
I think it’s natural for us to simplify people, to make them into certain idealized forms of themselves and that can often lead to disappointment. And that’s both a bad thing, because it ruins the images you have, but it’s also good because you get to see how true and human people are, and that they’re just like you. I do the same thing almost all the time, and it makes things really difficult but you’re not alone in this so don’t worry or feel disheartened.
I feel you lady. I think I spent a large part of my life comparing myself to others and never being about to match up to them, but then again, the reason I couldn’t is because of the unrealistic pedestal that I propped them up on and I feel like because of this, I’ve defeated myself before I even started trying. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one out there. Who knows maybe there’s people out there who think I have it all together, but little do they know…..
Life is messy, chaotic and full of emotion. I always try to embrace that. =)
I love that life is messy honestly. Like most, I find myself searching for those who seem to have their life completely in order. Though most of the time I find that their life is just as messy as mine. That makes me feel more secure even though I shouldn’t need that knowledge to be secure. I mean I do not really want to be one of those people who has every little detail figured out. I believe that eliminates some of spontaneity. Strange to think that I’m finally reveling in the fact that life is messy but I learned that not too long ago. Now I’m all about letting the flaws hang out for the world to see. I may be slow to move through life, but I take my time to learn and enjoy it since I only get one chance.
You know what’s funny/awesome? That you title your posts in all uppercase letters, and I title mine in all lowercase. Yin and yang? :)
A-men.
I’m agreeing with you here… I want to believe that there are people out there that are entirely pulled together, because I wish that I could be so someday. At the moment it only brings me stress that I’m not like that, but if I could ever achieve it then I wouldn’t have to worry so much any more!