Alternatively titled THANK YOU FOR BEIN’ A FRIEND
My friend Lisa and I are big on making plans. When it started ten years ago, we were incredibly optimistic. I would marry Lance from *NSYNC, she would marry JC, and we would both get PhDs in psychology. I actually remember the planning session where we guessed that it took one year to earn a PhD.
Our plans have gone all kinds of directions over the years. We’ve long since concluded that if our conversations were limited to reality, we would have run out of things to talk about by sophomore year of high school. As it is, we’re still going strong at 25, every day spinning some new kind of fiction.
But, the plans have certainly grown a bit more pessimistic since that initial planning session in my parents’ basement. I didn’t marry Lance, because he’s gay and psshhhhhh I’m no longer interested anyway! As for JC, I think a few too many years of bad hair and even worse clothing have turned Lisa off. Now, instead of planning marriages to boy band members, we’re coming up with alternatives to dying alone.
We both refuse to die alone and be eaten by cats. No, we will retire to Florida (or some warm place without giant bugs) and live like the Golden Girls, sipping drinks out on the lanai. I have to admit, it doesn’t sound like the worse case scenario. It sounds pretty nice.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
i don’t see anything wrong with living like that. i would hope to end up in a warm place sipping margaritas and appletinis with my closest girl friends til my last breath. but i’m currently taken. plus who knows, maybe i just will.
also, yeah, i was a sucker for lance, too. blech.
Can I join you in Florida? It’s looking more and more like I’m going to be one of those people that die and get eaten by cats.
Your plan would be even better if the Golden Girls were there with you! They are hysterical!
Personally I think spending my last few years in a warm sunny place, sipping drinks on the deck surrounded by my closest friends sounds heavenly and I really hope to end up that way.
I would certainly love to retire to Florida. Some place sunny and happy.
My friend has a Golden Girls wallet. It is pretty much the greatest thing ever.
My goal for when I am older is to be a super fabulous old lady who wears way too much leopard print, drinks cocktails before 5 and carries a massive purse. Should be great.
It’s so nice to have friends like that, isn’t it? :)
Love the lanai bit :) Being a Golden GIrls fan, I picked right up on it!
It’s amazing the innocence and stupidity that came with being a kid. I sometimes wish I could get that back again…
I think everyone needs a friend like that to plan out the future, no matter what actually happens. They’re a blessing, and the fact that y’all continue to make plans and chatter on after years is incredible.
My best friend and I have said for years that we’ll end up being the old bats sitting in rickety rocking chairs on the front porch of a rickety house yelling at the kids walking by and petting our cats. Or our shotguns, depending on how bitter we get.
I’d suggest retiring in Hawaii or Southern California to beat the scary bugs, though. They are quite prevalent in Florida, especially in the summer…
Sounds like fun – I always loved that show!
Did we seriously think getting a PhD took a year? Were we on crack!??!!? Good times.
HA- I love the Golden Girls allusion. But don’t worry, I’ve done the same stuff with my friends too- making plans and hypothesizing about the future. And that scenario does not sound like such a bad one to me.
Go for Justin Timberlake! You ain’t got nothing on Jessica Beal!!
Sounds good to me. I’ll meet you there and we can throw things at random people, because no one would suspect the little old lady….
Just got back from seeing the movie He’s Just Not That Into You with my best friend. Leaving the theater, we made a very similar plan, so I approve!
And, who doesn’t want a lanai? Please tell me you’ll wear Blanche inspired outfits while sipping your mimosas.
who’s gonna be your third golden girl?? ;)
My best friend and I make the exact same kinds of plans.
But I like your Florida idea.
I wonder which Golden Girl I would be?
Ahh! Golden Girls! That sounds like and awesome retirement! It’s remarkable how many GG fans there are out there!
Glad you were an *NSYNC fan (always nice to meet a kindred spirit).
I met Lance last year at a book signing. One of the nicest guys I’ve EVER met!
I’m sure you’ll not die alone. You’re very pretty, and you seem to be smart and nice. Three things that will attract some awesome dude somewhere.
That said, those plans for Florida sound fun! Just be wary of those nurses that want to kill their patients (last night I watched something about this lady in St. Petersburg that would self-inflict and then it progressed to killing 12 patients in 13 days…).
were you devastated when you found out lance was gay?
:)
LUV it! My BFF and I plan on spending our days feeding birds in parks all over the world. lol.