A couple weeks ago, I went to post my daily picture, and I was struck by the similarity of that picture to a series of pictures I took of myself years ago. I guess it was the hair and jean jacket. Instead of working or studying, I took the time to replicate some of the other pictures.
The pictures on the left were taken February 12, 2005, and the pictures on the right were taken November 19, 2008. Yeah, I used to wear colored contacts. I also had long blond hair (with dark roots!).
In February of 2005, I was newly 21. So, obviously I was drunk all the time. Okay, not really. I didn’t start drinking until I was 22. I didn’t start drinking regularly until I was 23. And, I didn’t discover the magic of being seriously tipsy until I was 24.
Anyway, I didn’t know it at the time, but my life had changed forever that January. Two things happened: I discovered the music of David Gray and I discovered the academic study of theology. As I mentioned before, the two are forever linked in my mind. Who better to listen to than an introspective atheist when you’re going through a major theological crisis and questioning everything you know? Studying theology has not only changed my career path, it’s changed the entire way I look at the world. I don’t know who I’d be without it. Life is weird that way.
Also in 2005, I was living in Washington, I was a junior in college, I was working at an insurance company as a receptionist, and I was getting over some bad dieting habits. I didn’t journal much that year, so it’s hard to remember exactly what I was thinking. Probably my normal introspective stuff with a dash more desperation, a pinch more self-loathing, and heaps more uncertainty.
Here’s a February 28, 2005, exerpt from my journal. I love how dramatic this is.
“I think I’m currently the most cheerful depressed person ever. I’m not all out doom and gloom, but I’m struggling to lead a life that feels right. I don’t know how to be and I’m lonely.”
I thought that I would probably get my English degree, and then go through an accelerated MA program in Education to get my teaching certificate so that I could teach high school English. Yeah. I’d taken a class on literacy, and we’d talked a lot about what goes into teaching students to write. I loved that class. I think I could have been happy doing that.
But, what I’m doing now just feels so right that it’s hard to speculate about the other possible outcomes. Yeah, life is definitely weird that way.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
hehe I like the photo re-enactments. I like reading through my old journals. Which reminds me, I need to write in my current one so I’ll have something to read 4 years from now!
I’ve figured you out.
You just don’t age.
I hate you!
:D
I have a feeling that I am going to look back at old journals and feel as though I was being overly dramatic.
The pictures are so cute and hilariously similar. It’s funny what does and doesn’t change in 4 years.
This is great! I think it just goes to show that who we fundamentally are does not change that much.
Haha, I don’t think I’ve ever tried this, although I have a TON of pictures from a long time ago! I think you mostly look the same–a little older, though, and I don’t think your eyebrows stand out as much. I don’t mean that they look bad in 2005, but I think they look more bold back then for some reason. It must be the dark frames of your glasses now that are more a focus on your face. Either way, I still think you’re pretty and photogenic.
Haha. The pictures are hilarious!
I think I shall look through some old photos now because of you… Weird how many memories you get back from one photo. I wish I’d started keeping a journal earlier than I did :(