No, I’m not freaking out right now. I’m just going crazy. I should probably go for a walk or something.
I’ve decided to apply to seven doctoral programs. That’s a few more than I originally planned. But, I decided to do it right this time. I only applied to two undergrads (ended up going to one, and then transferring to the other), and only one MA program. I don’t regret applying to so few schools, but things are way more competitive this time around, and I will forever be branded by the school where I earn my PhD.
I’m trying to open my mind, but I’m a planner. I’ve already settled on my school of choice, and I’m picturing my life there. But, why should I limit my own options?
The freaking out comes in with the very fast approaching deadlines. And, the money! Just getting all my transcripts in order is costing me a fortune. The GRE people want $20 for each score they send to a school. What? And, then the schools themselves charge $45-60 in application fees.
But, things have changed. You see, when I was thinking about this process last year, I was full of doubt and insecurity. I wasn’t sure if this was what I really wanted, and I’ve heard over and over again that pursuing a PhD is not worth doing unless you can’t picture yourself doing anything else. It’s too much time and money and work for too few payoffs. I mean, even if you manage to find a good job (nearly impossible), you’re not going to be making much money.
I know now that this is absolutely what I want to do. And, you know what? I’m not a bad candidate. I’d make any program proud. So, I’m not going to play it completely safe. I’m going to throw myself out there, and it’s going to mean failure, and I’m going to take it hard, but hopefully I’ll open some doors to success and opportunities too.
I feel like I haven’t appropriately emphasized the freaking out part. It’s not the applications or the personal statements (though I’ll probably start complaining about that soon). Those are within my control. It’s the getting everything–recommendations (ahh!), transcripts, and GRE scores–to the right places in time that’s freaking me out. But, I’m okay. I’m even a little excited. Who knows were I’ll be this time next year.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Ugh that was not a fun process. That’s good that you’re applying to 7 though! At least it’s not as expensive as applying to med schools, or so I hear. Good luck (not that you need it)!
Now, now, now. You’re supposed to be enjoying the Holidays, not worrying about a PhD program. Kidding, of course, but I am sure that things will fall in place – you are a hard worker.
Oh hun…
I’m so excited for you. I can’t wait to hear the results, whatever they may be.
*cheering you on from afar*
-Liza
Ulgh, the application process is never fun, and I can only imagine what must go into a PhD application. I’m sure you’ll handle it all extremely well though. And you’re absolutely starting off with the very best attitude: any program would be lucky to have you! Good luck and keep us posted!
That’s so exciting that you have this going on. I’m sure the right school will pop up for you, and that in a year, you will be happier than ever. By the way, I LOVE your Thesis theme! It is so clean and crisp.
Good luck, Ashley! You’ll be fine :-)
Wow! That’s awesome! I am so jealous that you are so far in your Education. I think that you will do great! GOOD LUCK.
Oh man.
The application process is always a little wearing on the soul.
But, like you said, throw yourself out there.
You never know which program will catch you.
Good luck!
I’ve heard such horror stories about applying to med school. That’s a major time and money commitment. Luckily, I don’t have such aspirations.
Thanks Liza!
I’m taking it easy some too! Thanks goodness for paid days off from work.
I will definitely keep you posted. This is probably all I’ll be thinking about for a while, and then there’s the wait while they make their decisions.
Thanks Elizabeth. I agree about the thesis theme. I prefer simple themes like this.
Thanks Amy! You’re an awesome cheerleader. ; )