This was a strange weekend.
Several sad things happened on the periphery of my life–things that made me stop and think. Because, though they happened on the periphery of my life, they struck right at the heart of other people’s lives. So as not to be vague, I’ll tell you that I’m thinking of the anniversary of 9/11, the train accident in LA, Hurricane Ike, and the death of David Foster Wallace. I don’t know what to say about any of these things, but I feel the need to acknowledge them somehow.
In sharp contrast, I had an amazing weekend with my mom and step dad here. We ate, we drank, we talked, we sat by the pool. Even though I didn’t go anywhere, I got to leave my stresses behind. I got to be with the people I love–the people who lift me up.
It’s a weird thing to be an adult, and I’m not very good at it yet. How can you be joyful at the same time that you’re sympathetic to the near point of devastation? What are you supposed to say when you know there’s nothing you can say? As a kid, I just looked on and felt other people’s pain like it was my own. As an adult, I turn away, I close my eyes, because I’m selfish and I don’t know how to respond.
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I’m the same way. I wanted to acknowledge those things too, but I had no idea what to say.
I used to feel everyone’s pain as my own, now it is just so much easier to turn away.
Sometimes I feel so much emotion that I can’t deal with it.
I don’t know. But blogging helps. It’s an outlet.
I wouldn’t worry about the ‘cane. We’re doing okay in Texas and will do okay. The only “natural disaster” in Texas is government aid.