Turn, Turn, Turn (Part II)

Continued from yesterday.

4. Becoming friends with Lisa. I met Lisa in middle school. She sat next to me in band in sixth grade, and I thought she was weird because she was really quiet, and swabbed out her clarinet every single day, which no one else did. Always the rule follower. She now claims that she thought I was weird too, but she only started saying that after I said what I thought of her. I’ve had several really important friendships, but I would call my friendship with Lisa a turning point, because it really did seem to happen in an instant. On the first day of high school, we went from distant acquaintances to best friends. It had something to do with the fact that she was one of the only people I recognized that first day, but we also had a lot in common, and later we shared an obsession with *NSYNC (more on that another time). That first year of high school, we had almost every class together, and for the following three, we did have every class together. We also sat next to each other at every band event and hung out outside of school. We’re very similar people, and we spent the first couple years discovering all the strange things we had in common. Spending so much time together made us even more similar. Someone asked us once if we were sisters; Lisa is three inches taller than me and blond, but I guess we spoke the same and shared so many mannerisms that we could look related. Lisa is an incredible friend to me, and though we’ve never really been dependent on each other like some friends are, I can’t imagine my life without her or our friendship. The only negative thing I can say is that I think the comfort we took in our friendship and our shared timidity led us to be far too apathetic in high school. We both succeeded in school, and in that way, I think we kept each other in check and on track, but we didn’t push each other to step outside our comfort zones. Thankfully, the time we spent apart as undergrads gave us each the opportunity to test our limits more, and we’re better for it. Now we support each other as we pursue our separate interests

5. Moving home after freshman year. I only applied to two colleges. They were practically the same school, except one was here in the city where I grew up, and the other was in Southern California. Lisa and I decided to go to California. I knew almost immediately that I’d made the wrong decision, except now I call it a necessary learning experience and not a mistake. I was a disaster. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, I wasn’t ready to be away from home, and I wasn’t prepared to live in an environment where I was constantly surrounded by my peers. I was freaked out about money, and so I worked too many hours instead of spending time with my classmates. I was pretty miserable, and I’m proud of myself now for admitting my mistake and making the change necessary to make myself happier. I moved home and finished out my degree at the other school I had applied to. This point comes with good and bad like the others. I think I missed out on a lot of experiences by not staying away at college. Of course, those regrets have been softened now that my life has taken a happy direction it wouldn’t have taken if I hadn’t switched schools

6. Discovering theology. When you go to a private religious school, even one as crazy liberal as my undergrad, you have to take religion classes. I had already taken one my freshman year, and it hadn’t moved me, though I was far more religious at that time. So, I didn’t look forward to taking one more in order to earn my English degree. I originally registered for a class on the documents of the major eastern religions; I’d picked it because it fit well into my work schedule. But, I quickly learned that that class would not fill the necessary requirement, so I had to scramble to find another. The only one available was Introduction to Theology, which, because it was an intensive class, met every night for three hours. If I’d had any other options, I would have taken them. The class was taught by an adjunct professor who’d earned his PhD at the school I now attend. Not only did the class throw me into a complete theological crisis from which I’m still recovering, but it was some of the most fun I’d ever had in a classroom. I really didn’t talk much in the class, but our final paper was to reflect on the questions we’d been raising, and I got my draft back with some of the most encouraging comments I’ve ever received from a teacher. The class lasted only the month of January, and afterwards I began the second semester of my junior year, but I couldn’t get theology off of my brain. It was so interesting to me, and so deeply personal. On what felt like a whim, I added Religion as a second major. I took another class from that professor the next summer, and he gave me even more encouragement, and told me what I needed to do if I really wanted to pursue theology. On another whim, I applied to graduate school; I applied only to the school I wanted to attend, because there was nothing else I wanted to do. English has been my interest forever, but discovering theology usurped it instantly, and on a series of whims, I’m on a career path I never imagined.

It’s strange how when you choose to do one thing, you also choose not to do a million other things. I look back on these moments in my life with relief and regret. They all brought me wonderful things, but made so many other what-might-have-beens impossible. I can’t know how my life would be different if I’d made other choices or if other choices had been made for me, because one decision led to another, which led to another, which led to another to form a complicated web that cannot now be deconstructed. And, if I hadn’t experienced the things I have, then I wouldn’t be the same person.

Related posts:

1. Turn, Turn, Turn (Part I)
2. We Need Your Help
3. The Things I Didn’t Do in High School
4. Life in California
5. Blogging Through The Years: First Grade