I’ve been thinking about this post for a long time it seems. I had to keep myself from writing it earlier, but I wanted to wait until the three month mark, and here it is. I’m of two minds. Part of me feels like I’ve been blogging forever now, and the other part can’t accept that blogging is a part of my life. I feel the latter, I think, because no one in my real life knows I blog (yet, at least).
Here are some things that blogging has brought to my life this summer:
- I’ve discovered that I’m more of a storyteller than I ever thought before. I know that will sound weird to people who know I’m working on a novel, but I don’t think of myself as a storyteller. My brother is a storyteller. My aunt is a storyteller. I’m a fact teller. Maybe it’s only the difference between speaking and writing, but I don’t exaggerate and I don’t captivate. I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable than trying to hold people’s attention with the boring details of my life. But, when I sit down to write a blog post, I can’t just tell what happened. I start looking for origins and back story, and suddenly my single trip to Target is sitting within a series of other events, all tied together with some realization. I guess knowing that you guys have no obligation to read or keep reading what I write makes me feel better about writing what I want
- Blogging makes me want to take pictures. There are so many bloggers that impress me not only with their beautiful pictures, but their vast knowledge of photography. I don’t think I’ll ever develop such a passion for photography, but I love the idea of using pictures to communicate. And, there is something so pleasing about just the right pictures in a post; it’s beautiful design.
- Blogging makes me reminisce. There must be something about the blogging style, because I’ve noticed other bloggers doing this too. I feel like I start every post with, “Back when I was in high school . . . ” or “This all started 7 years ago, when . . . .” I don’t normally think so much in terms of time, but it’s a big part of my posts. I’m no stranger to introspection, but blogging has really helped me to recognize the continuity of different things that have happened in my life. I see more clearly how one decision led to the next.
- I started blogging, because of the joy I found in writing in my journal. I just felt like it was a side of myself that people often miss, and I wanted to share it. I also loved writing in a more informal style and was looking for an outlet to do more of that. Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve drifted away from that, and started to write more formally. Funny, I want to impress strangers just as much as anyone else. I’m trying to loosen up again.
- Sometimes when I’m thinking about things to write, I think, “No, I can’t write that. That’s not what this blog is about!” But, this blog is about whatever I want it to be about, and I want it to be about whatever I want. (I think that makes sense.) I definitely think about how what I write will be received, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. There’s always an audience, even when it’s only yourself. But, I want this to evolve however it does, and not try to put restraints on myself and define what a personal blog is.
- Sometimes I think nothing of it, and sometimes I feel completely ridiculous for having a blog devoted to myself. Who wants to read this garbage? Why do I think I’m so special? But, I think people miss out a lot by not taking themselves seriously, and not pursuing their interests as if they matter. It still feels a little ridiculous and self-indulgent, but I can live with that.
- Whether to tell people I blog has been a big question for me. I could go on more or less anonymously, but one big reason I wanted to start blogging was because I felt like people, even those who see me every day, don’t know me very well (because I suck at letting them in). I’m sure I’ll tell them at some point, and, to be honest, I don’t think any of them would be surprised that I’d do something like this. The only one that really gets to me is my friend Lisa; we talk constantly, and not telling her feels like lying.
- I started blogging not knowing whether or not anyone would ever read my posts. I didn’t know anything about how the whole blog community worked. I really don’t like the part of it that feels like networking. Commenting on a new person’s blog feels like asking to sit with the cool kids at lunch. But, I love reading what people have to say, and I love love love receiving comments. I know a lot of bloggers, usually those who receive way more than me, aren’t fond of comments, and I understand their concerns, but, to me, receiving comments feels like getting a pat on the back or a hug. I don’t look for people to say just the right thing. I just like knowing they’re there, reading. Thanks.
- Blogging is like anything else: the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Sometimes I can’t think of a single thing to write, and then I get going on something, and suddenly I’m bombarded with tons more ideas and I wonder how I’ll ever fit them all in. There are a few things I thought I’d write more about, but I haven’t yet. The biggest is definitely theology. I’m studying to be a theologian, but I’ve barely mentioned theology or philosophy of religion except to say that I study it! I also thought I’d write more about being a grad student. I guess my pass on that one is that’s it’s been summer, and I haven’t been in school. I’ll probably be writing a lot about school this fall as I write my thesis and apply to PhD programs.
- I guess I intended for that last bit to be my, “Here’s what’s coming up next on the Ashley Blog!!!” But, I’m not sure what’s coming next. Probably a lot more of the same, and some new things thrown in as my life takes on a new direction.
- Also, welcome to my new location. “Writing to Reach You” is one of my favorite songs by Travis. I love the phrase and have always wanted to get it tattooed on my wrist. I figure after blogging here for a while, I’ll be so sick of the phrase that I won’t want it anywhere on my body.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I really like the new look! And I’ve experienced some of this stuff too since starting my blog. It’s definitely an interesting medium. And yes, pictures! They add another layer.
I feel the same way as you do on certain things about blogging, like getting comments and feeling nostalgic and anonymity. I’ve been blogging for a while now, and it still feels like I’m new at it because I myself don’t know what to expect of my blog, what direction it’s supposed to go, if anywhere at all.
Thanks Sophia. More pictures to come. I swear!
Josephine: That’s a great way to put it. It still feels new because what I’m doing with this blog is always changing.
Great post, it so echoes my own feelings about blogging, i started in February with no idea what would happen, i just wanted a challenge. i hoped a few would read my blog, and would like the photos and have been surprised on both counts.