Procrastination

I can hardly think of anyone who doesn’t consider himself or herself a procrastinator. Sure, we all take it to different levels, but it’s the rare person who never puts off to tomorrow what could be completed today. I’ve always considered myself part of the majority on this one. In high school, I don’t think I ever started an assignment much earlier than the day before it was due. This carried on through undergrad. I never thought much of it. Procrastination isn’t the best habit, but we all do it. We joke about it; sometimes we even brag about it.

When I got to grad school, I started thinking of procrastination differently. First off, I should say that something changed about school for me. It started in some of my undergrad classes, but it intensified when I started grad school. Learning became emotional. I don’t know quite how to explain it or why it happened. I think it was a combination of finally studying things that really touched me and accepting that school was not just something I had to get through–it was now my career.

So, school became emotional and so did procrastination. Before I’d always considered procrastination a bad habit–laziness, really. Of course there’s always a dimension of self-discipline involved, but now I felt so much more than lazy when I procrastinated. I felt terrible about myself, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it.

I started looking for help or at least some perspective on what was going on. Or, maybe I was just procrastinating. Anyway, I came across a podcast about procrastination. It’s hosted by Dr. Timothy Pychyl, who studies procrastination, especially academic procrastination. For Dr. Pychyl, procrastination is in part a problem of self-discipline, but there are so many other contributing factors, and they are not the same for everyone. For some it’s fear of failure, for others it’s existential issues, and for others still it’s something else.

I think that my procrastination became emotional when I was hit with assignments I didn’t think I could complete. I thought they were beyond my ability. Rather than face them, I pushed them off as long as I could. It was easier to procrastinate than to really dig in and figure out if I had the ability or not. It was not just that the tasks had become more daunting, but that the stakes were so much higher. The thinking is not rational, and that’s another problem. The facts show that I do have the ability, and I’ve proven it over and over again.

It has helped me tremendously to name my actions. I see myself procrastinating, and I try to face my fears head on. It certainly doesn’t come naturally, though. Despite the increased stress it gives me, I continue to procrastinate. Actually, I’m doing it right now. I should be writing a book review. I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I can do it. So, I sit here writing a blog entry instead.