First, I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know why I want to start a blog. I can hardly keep up with my journal. And, I can’t believe I have anything to say that anyone will be remotely interested in. Finally, the thought of putting myself out there makes me want to run and hide somewhere. I have a hard enough time being me in my real life, so why add to my stress? But, I can’t help myself. I want to write, and I want people to read what I write. I want to put myself out there, because I want to get something back. And, I find other people’s boring lives fascinating, so what makes this boring life any different?
About me? It’s always a tricky question, and one I can’t answer without thinking of how I want to be perceived by the person I’m talking to. Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if we didn’t have to worry about what other people think of us, but isn’t that part of being social and living in relation to others? If you take that away, then what’s left? I picture myself in a white room staring at the walls. Somehow, someone thinking I’m weird or stupid sounds better than staring at blank walls. I hope you agree with me on this one.
Anyway, I was in an interview last week, and the woman asked me about myself. I wasn’t surprised by this question, since I’d read a couple hours before on a site with helpful interview tips that this is the most common question in interviews. So, as I was instructed by the site, I told her about my education and work history. She asked me some questions about what I study, and I tried to describe the particular movement in theology that I’m interested in. I was pretty happy with myself, because I managed to explain it to some degree without making myself look like an idiot or making it seem like I thought she was an idiot. Then, she said, “So tell me about yourself.” Okay, so I got more personal and told her I’m originally from Washington state, and also, I like to write. We talked for a minute about Washington weather (it was raining outside, which is of course odd for Southern California, so it seemed like an appropriate topic). We talked also about my writing. I like to journal (though I hate calling it that), and I like to write fiction. She thought that was very interesting, which amazed me, because more often people don’t. Then, and I think you know where I’m going next, she asked, “So what can you tell me about yourself.” At this point I was actually trying to picture my facebook profile. What are my interests again? I think I said something about liking board games, which made me feel 12 and like a major dork (and not the chic kind). Thankfully, we moved on after that, because I was getting to the point where I was going to have to either tell her about my high school obsession with *NSYNC or say straight out that there was nothing left of myself to tell!
So, here I go, hopefully writing to someone, but maybe just the idea of people reading this is enough.
